Wednesday, August 16, 2006

I feel pretty, oh so pretty...

I am not the type of person to wear makeup and do my hair and nails every day. I shower and wear deodorant and perfume, but looks have not always been my priority.

I have a really good reason for never doing my nails. I bite them. Yes, I have a horrible habit of chewing them off until they are up to the nail bed. Everytime I wear nail polish, I tend to feel like Frankenstein's monster. I do like painting my toes. For several years it has been my "hidden" beautification thing that I do just for me. Of course in the summer, when I wear sandals, people see them. I like to see my toes all pretty when I look at them in the shower or bath. Several times I have attempted to pain my fingernails, only to get frustrated and erase my many attempts with polish remover.

Yesterday at the store, I saw some polish for half off, so I indulged and got this sparkly pink color. I cleared off the heavy burgandy from my toes and gave it a whirl. Wow, this is not as heavy as I thought. So I decided to try it on my fingers, half expecting to not like it. But I did. Two coats and my fingers still look good.

I never thought that I would be able to wear nail polish, especially to work. Here I am. The thing that prompted me to write this, however, is that I cannot stop looking at my nails. The sparkling catches my eyes, yes, but it is more than that. This pink goes so naturally with my body color, that I do not look eccentric in anyway. Who knows how this goes, but maybe I can stop biting my nails. That would be a miracle, I have bitten them my whole life and tried everything to quit.

Maybe the sparkles hide imperfections in the polish that would normally distract me and cause me to eradicate any evidence at my attempt. Maybe I am just growing up and getting better. Maybe the shade is more forgiving with errors. Who knows.

I feel really giddy and schoolgirlish. I think it is hilarious that nail polish can do this to me. I like feeling pretty. Honestly I would do my hair and make up if I had more time and it wouldn't get all ruined with my job.

Mom was not a big makeup person. She wore makeup only once that I ever remember, to a ball or some fancy outing that parents do and kids don't understand. I learned to do my make up from her sister, my wonderful Aunt Robin. I also remember when "Auntie" Chrissy used to doll me up in make up and paint my nails. I loved it.

My question I find myself pondering is: why do I feel that need to be dolled up and pretty when I am loved by Dave and others just the way I am? Why do I like sparkles and glitter and makeup? If you have any opinions, please post a comment.

In the meantime, I feel like Jack Nicholson in Anger Management. Sing if you know the words, "I feel pretty, oh so pretty, I feel pretty and whitty and bright...."

Lyrics: I Feel Pretty

Please see previous blog entry...

I Feel Pretty
Music by Leonard Bernstein and Words by Stephen Sondheim
from the musical West Side Story

(Maria) I feel pretty Oh so pretty I feel pretty and witty and gay And I pity Any girl who isn't me today I feel charming Oh so charming It's alarming how charming I feel And so pretty That I hardly can believe I'm real See the pretty girl in that mirror there Who can that attractive girl be? Such a pretty face Such a pretty dress Such a pretty smile Such a pretty me! I feel stunning And entrancing Feel like running and dancing for joy For I'm loved By a pretty wonderful boy! (Girls) Have you met my good friend Maria The craziest girl on the block? You'll know her the minute you see her She's the one who is in an advanced state of shock She thinks she's in love She thinks she's in Spain She isn't in love She's merely insane It must be the heat Or some rare disease Or too much to eat Or maybe it's weed Keep away from her Send for Chino! This is not the Maria we know! Modest and pure Polite and refined Well-bred and mature And out of her mind! Miss America! Speech! Speech! (Maria) I feel pretty Oh so pretty That the city should give me its key A committee Should be organized to honor me I feel dizzy I feel sunny I feel fizzy and funny and fine And so pretty Miss America can just resign! (Girls) See the pretty girl in that mirror there What mirror where? Who can that attractive girl be? (Which? What? Where? Whom?) Such a pretty face Such a pretty dress (Whom? Whom?) Such a pretty smile Such a pretty me! (Whom?) I feel stunning And entrancing Feel like running and dancing for joy For I'm loved By a pretty wonderful boy