God for certain has been after my heart. I cannot deny this. What he seeks is nothing but the best for me, and I need to give up all of my ideas of what that means. I need to cast aside any image I may hold of my Lord and let him show me his face.
Oswald Chambers My Utmost for His Highest has been a fantastic journey doing just that. Well for me it has anyway. I have been doing something crazy in that I have been picking it up and reading it every day. Nearly every day this devotional speaks directly to where I am exactly on my spiritual journey.
The last few days have really gotten to me. What do you want, what you will get, and the graciousness of uncertainty were the titles. Essentially I have learned that I need to seek God, and his will to find peace, when I give God my life, he gives it back to me, and we need not be certain of what is going to happen, only certain of God.
My dear inspiration, Janet McMahon titled her blog "Losing Life" and ever since then I have been contemplating what it means that you need to lose your life in order to find it. Its kind of funny how God works like that. I lost my "life" or at least my expectations, desires and designs from my own doings. I sit here in my dad's basement unemployed and unsure what life will bring me, but yet I have an odd sense of peace filling me. It can only be the Holy Spirit.
Honestly, I feel like God has wiped my slate clean so that he can give my life back to me. And I mean by this the life that is truly life. I mean by this the life that God intended for me. I mean fixing the past, healing old wounds, and starting out on the path that he intends for me, not the one that I intended for me.
God wants me to stop reading the novel, and start living it.
I feel much like I am a child on the day before Christmas, filled with anticipation for what Santa left under the tree. I am filled with expectation and excitement, wondering what it is that God has planned for me. What's next Abba? Where are we going together Lord?
And right now, being filled with that very expectation is just what God wants for me. The journey is filled with joy and discovery and adventure, and my God, He is so good. Truly I tell you that I have everything I could ever need right now.
My pride was chewed, swallowed, digested, and flushed. Now I value things that I cannot lose. My God meets me there, and I am so grateful. He chases me onward, upward, toward righteousness and healing.
Yeah, there is stress, but it doesn't rule me. Peace rules. Jesus rules.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Monday, April 26, 2010
its kind of funny....
Yesterday, after I posted "Funny Thing" I read my Bible. I am reading "The Voice" version for a fresh look at the Gospels.
In Luke 7, Jesus is eating dinner at Simon the Pharisee's home. In walks a woman of ill-repute and cries at his feet, washing his feet with her tears, kissing them and and pours a very expensive perfumed oil on his feet. Jesus then asks Simon who would be more appreciative, the one forgiven a small debt or great debt. Simon doesn't even have to think- its obvious the one who was forgiven more. Jesus says "good answer."
So after just having written Funny Thing, I was caught by that phrase "Its kind of funny." Now italics indicate an implied meaning in the Voice- like the translation is not literal, but it is what it would have meant in the original greek or hebrew. They do this so the reader does not have to use footnotes. I love it.
I set the book down, and turned to my husband and said "I'm in love with another man more than you and His name is Jesus." You see, its kind of funny how you have to lose your life to find it again. Its kind of funny how the least shall be the greatest. Its kind of funny how a baby boy was laid in a wooden feeding trough at the beginning of his life, and laid on a wooden cross at the end. Both for the world to know God. How our God loves us so much that he took the first step because he knows how darn stubborn we are.
Its kind of funny, how I can smell the earthy smell of Jesus' feet. See as my tears hit his dirt stained skin. Watch my long, beautiful prized hair get soaked in mud. Taste the earthy warmth as I kiss those feet. Smell the perfume as it hits his feet and the smell permeates the room. Listen as Jesus sharply tells off the pharisee. No man has ever stood up for me before like this. Truly He is who he says he is. Feel the forgiveness that God has granted. Feel the the liberation when Jesus speaks to me. "Your sins are forgiven. Your faith has liberated you, go in peace." Not caring as I leave the house knowing that my Savior loves me, despite all of the pharisees' eyes burning holes in my back. Walking, no - running to tell my friends what has just happened. Changing my life because now I am free, now I am loved.
Let me ask you something. Have you ever been there?
That is grace.
I will never forget the feeling - or at least I pray that I never do.
Its kind of funny, I never thought that the smell of feet and dirt would remind me of my Savior. Now I will never be the same.
In Luke 7, Jesus is eating dinner at Simon the Pharisee's home. In walks a woman of ill-repute and cries at his feet, washing his feet with her tears, kissing them and and pours a very expensive perfumed oil on his feet. Jesus then asks Simon who would be more appreciative, the one forgiven a small debt or great debt. Simon doesn't even have to think- its obvious the one who was forgiven more. Jesus says "good answer."
Now Jesus turns around so He's facing the woman, although He is still speaking to Simon.
Jesus: Do you see this woman here? Its kind of funny. I entered your home, and you didn't provide a basin of water so I could wash the road dust from my feet. You didn't give me a customary kiss of greeting and welcome. You didn't offer me the common courtesy of oil to brighten my face. But this woman has wet my feet with her own tears and washed them with her own hair. She hasn't stopped kissing my feet since I came in. And she has applied perfumed oil to my feet. This woman has been forgiven much, and she is showing much love. But the person who has shown little love has shown how little forgiveness he has received.
(to the woman) Your sins are forgiven.
Simon and friends (muttering among themselves): Who does this guy think he is? He has the audacity to claim the authority to forgive sins?
Jesus (to the woman): Your faith has liberated you. Go in peace.
So after just having written Funny Thing, I was caught by that phrase "Its kind of funny." Now italics indicate an implied meaning in the Voice- like the translation is not literal, but it is what it would have meant in the original greek or hebrew. They do this so the reader does not have to use footnotes. I love it.
I set the book down, and turned to my husband and said "I'm in love with another man more than you and His name is Jesus." You see, its kind of funny how you have to lose your life to find it again. Its kind of funny how the least shall be the greatest. Its kind of funny how a baby boy was laid in a wooden feeding trough at the beginning of his life, and laid on a wooden cross at the end. Both for the world to know God. How our God loves us so much that he took the first step because he knows how darn stubborn we are.
Its kind of funny, how I can smell the earthy smell of Jesus' feet. See as my tears hit his dirt stained skin. Watch my long, beautiful prized hair get soaked in mud. Taste the earthy warmth as I kiss those feet. Smell the perfume as it hits his feet and the smell permeates the room. Listen as Jesus sharply tells off the pharisee. No man has ever stood up for me before like this. Truly He is who he says he is. Feel the forgiveness that God has granted. Feel the the liberation when Jesus speaks to me. "Your sins are forgiven. Your faith has liberated you, go in peace." Not caring as I leave the house knowing that my Savior loves me, despite all of the pharisees' eyes burning holes in my back. Walking, no - running to tell my friends what has just happened. Changing my life because now I am free, now I am loved.
Let me ask you something. Have you ever been there?
That is grace.
I will never forget the feeling - or at least I pray that I never do.
Its kind of funny, I never thought that the smell of feet and dirt would remind me of my Savior. Now I will never be the same.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Funny thing
Today I jumped back in the saddle. I served at church. I had called a hiatus for a few months, and many of you may remember me taking a step back for a season.
Funny thing is that now I have lost my home and job, I am free to return to serve. I am able to spend quality time with my family, and grow.
Funny thing happens when you have nothing to rely on but God, you realize that God is enough. Surely Corrie Ten-Boom realized that in the concentration camps. I think it really hit me while watching a movie about the Holocaust just how lucky I have it. Even losing my job and my home, I don't have to run in fear for my life, defending myself and my family against even my fellow camp members. I am more free right now than I have been in a very long time.
I believe I dreaded losing things more than I treasured my life. I have more than I ever needed right now. Thanks Jesus.
Funny thing is that now I have lost my home and job, I am free to return to serve. I am able to spend quality time with my family, and grow.
Funny thing happens when you have nothing to rely on but God, you realize that God is enough. Surely Corrie Ten-Boom realized that in the concentration camps. I think it really hit me while watching a movie about the Holocaust just how lucky I have it. Even losing my job and my home, I don't have to run in fear for my life, defending myself and my family against even my fellow camp members. I am more free right now than I have been in a very long time.
I believe I dreaded losing things more than I treasured my life. I have more than I ever needed right now. Thanks Jesus.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Growing Pains
There is a reason that God calls us to live in community. There is something special that happens when you get together with other people searching to know God better. I experienced that last night. Sometimes it means you get knowledge imparted to you, sometimes it means you get loved, sometimes it just helps you to take layers of dust off of your heart.
I am going to share what I got. It may or may not be the best theology, but its Bible Truth to ME right now. One of the biggest things I have been concerning myself with is how I was going to impact others for Christ. I have asked God to break my heart for what breaks his. I always, always, always thought that meant taking Christ's light to other people. Now it does, and my heart still breaks for those who don't know Jesus, and those who are struggling to survive. But last night I learned that Jesus' heart breaks for the brokenness in me.
You see, I have been struggling with all of the things that are broken in me. I have been crawling behind Jesus with broken legs in pursuit of him. Sometimes the hardest thing for me to accept is that Christ wants to heal me. To reach my broken parts. Not the surface brokenness, but the deep down years and years of backwards thinking and acting brokenness. The things I learned wrong, the poor self-esteem, the things that have been holding me back from becoming the creation that God intended for me.
Specifically I see these issues being worked out (in no particular order): father issues, neighbor issues, shyness, being mom, being a woman, being a friend, deep, deep deep. I think the first three years of my life, I let God work on my appearance, my surface stains. The truth is that I am more like a head of lettuce or an onion, I have layers and layers of my life that need to be peeled back and cleaned. I have basic structural faults that need to be broken and reset. Continually I am placed into the refiner's fire and burning off the chaff.
God this all hurts, but I consider it nothing but growing pains in the light of your Holy Spirit in me. I consider it sore muscles that haven't been worked in a while. My tears are bitter-sweet. I long to be righted. I long to be made stronger in you. This breaking and re-shaping of myself, its not fun, but it is good.
Savior, he can move the mountains, my God is mighty to save, he is mighty to save.
Forever, author of salvation, he rose and conquered the grave, Jesus conquered the grave.
So take me as you find me, all my fears and failures, fill my life again.
I give my life to follow, everything I believe in, and now I surrender.
Savior, he can move the mountains.
I am going to share what I got. It may or may not be the best theology, but its Bible Truth to ME right now. One of the biggest things I have been concerning myself with is how I was going to impact others for Christ. I have asked God to break my heart for what breaks his. I always, always, always thought that meant taking Christ's light to other people. Now it does, and my heart still breaks for those who don't know Jesus, and those who are struggling to survive. But last night I learned that Jesus' heart breaks for the brokenness in me.
You see, I have been struggling with all of the things that are broken in me. I have been crawling behind Jesus with broken legs in pursuit of him. Sometimes the hardest thing for me to accept is that Christ wants to heal me. To reach my broken parts. Not the surface brokenness, but the deep down years and years of backwards thinking and acting brokenness. The things I learned wrong, the poor self-esteem, the things that have been holding me back from becoming the creation that God intended for me.
Specifically I see these issues being worked out (in no particular order): father issues, neighbor issues, shyness, being mom, being a woman, being a friend, deep, deep deep. I think the first three years of my life, I let God work on my appearance, my surface stains. The truth is that I am more like a head of lettuce or an onion, I have layers and layers of my life that need to be peeled back and cleaned. I have basic structural faults that need to be broken and reset. Continually I am placed into the refiner's fire and burning off the chaff.
God this all hurts, but I consider it nothing but growing pains in the light of your Holy Spirit in me. I consider it sore muscles that haven't been worked in a while. My tears are bitter-sweet. I long to be righted. I long to be made stronger in you. This breaking and re-shaping of myself, its not fun, but it is good.
Savior, he can move the mountains, my God is mighty to save, he is mighty to save.
Forever, author of salvation, he rose and conquered the grave, Jesus conquered the grave.
So take me as you find me, all my fears and failures, fill my life again.
I give my life to follow, everything I believe in, and now I surrender.
Savior, he can move the mountains.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Losing your job can be good
Yesterday was a den meeting for Jeramy's cub scouts. I thank God for people who can put up with 8 rambunctious 8 year old boys. I helped to keep them in line, I admit. I am an authoritarian mom, and don't like it when they run all over the place. Especially near a busy street corner. On the way back, one of the moms struck up a conversation with me. She re-introduced herself as horrible with names. I of course am the same way, so we automatically have two things in common, scout mom and bad with names. She mentioned she has only really seen my husband this whole time at the scout outings. I told her that I recently lost my job, and I worked the evening shift.
Her response "That's great! Now you can be a part of these things!" I wonder if she was longing for a younger mom to hang out with or just realized how awesome it is when you can be involved in your kids activities. "It's just the right time of year, too. As the weather just keeps getting better." FINALLY my heart celebrated. Yes, someone who didn't feel sorry for me, but who felt excited for me! I instantly liked her tons more.
I brought this up to my husband, while we were driving alone (Jeramy wanted to ride with the other boys) and he agreed. He told me that since I lost my job, things were tight, and we had a different set of problems, but I was a whole lot less stressed out. I totally agreed.
Now I am settled into somewhat of a routine, its time to mix it up again. Actually add some things that are productive and not time wasting. Goals: service, study, spewing. (I had to make it 3 Ss.) Service will be where I help out, either around here or with my aunt who could use a young person around the house. Study is spending time with God, reading the Bible and self-improvement. Spewing is writing. I want to start working on what my book might be, maybe just start spewing and run with it. Of course I need to put in a few applications every week, I think finding jobs is the hardest part. I won't apply for something I wouldn't actually work at, like a city job or a night job. Also I would like to meet with a school counselor to figure out what it would look like if I went back to college. Exploring several career tracks...
Help me out, if you will. What do you think I would be good at doing?
The world is full of possibilities and I am more free than I have been in a long time.
Her response "That's great! Now you can be a part of these things!" I wonder if she was longing for a younger mom to hang out with or just realized how awesome it is when you can be involved in your kids activities. "It's just the right time of year, too. As the weather just keeps getting better." FINALLY my heart celebrated. Yes, someone who didn't feel sorry for me, but who felt excited for me! I instantly liked her tons more.
I brought this up to my husband, while we were driving alone (Jeramy wanted to ride with the other boys) and he agreed. He told me that since I lost my job, things were tight, and we had a different set of problems, but I was a whole lot less stressed out. I totally agreed.
Now I am settled into somewhat of a routine, its time to mix it up again. Actually add some things that are productive and not time wasting. Goals: service, study, spewing. (I had to make it 3 Ss.) Service will be where I help out, either around here or with my aunt who could use a young person around the house. Study is spending time with God, reading the Bible and self-improvement. Spewing is writing. I want to start working on what my book might be, maybe just start spewing and run with it. Of course I need to put in a few applications every week, I think finding jobs is the hardest part. I won't apply for something I wouldn't actually work at, like a city job or a night job. Also I would like to meet with a school counselor to figure out what it would look like if I went back to college. Exploring several career tracks...
Help me out, if you will. What do you think I would be good at doing?
The world is full of possibilities and I am more free than I have been in a long time.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Call me out - please!
Today I got something that I love- I got called out. It was horribly true and confrontational, but for my benefit. See, true real friends want me to grow, and not be stuck. I love it. I love my friend for what she said. She isn't one for blogs, so when I write one I want to share, I have to cut and paste in email to her. She nailed major issues on the head here. So I want to ask you to read what she wrote, and be changed. I want to not to burn out or fade away, but to shine on.
Yes, I am joining in on this challenge. I am asking people to hold me accountable because like she said I also do not want to be the person who says one thing and does another. Help me, pray for me, and join me if you will.
Don't be a shooting star on this one Shelley.
If I can be brutally honest here ( you know I will be because you are tough and you can take it and you also know that I love you)
You habit is to be a big shot - but just out of the gate.
Then you fizzle out. You need to KEEP STANDING if you know what I mean.
Look if you have a cause-FIGHT FOR IT
If you want to start and group- THEN STAY WITH IT TIL THE END
If you are writing a book - THEN WRITE IT TIL THE WORDS THE END ARE WRITTEN
Leaders don't just "start things" they see them through. They are people of honor ( hopefully) and I know the best leaders are transparent. They are the same on Sunday at church and on Friday nights. No one is surprised to hear that they are a Christian.-if there is surprise- then somethin aint right.
We are studying "Sin in the Mirror" and it has been tough to swallow.
Taking my own inventory (ONCE AGAIN Rrrrrrrrrrrrrr) There is always work to do on myself. So I will continue in Gods grace and mercy.
I never want to be the person that says one thing- and does something completely different! NOT EVER!
Be mindful Shelley that people are always watching you because you claim to be an ambassador of Jesus- I will be so bold to say ACT LIKE IT
You are the daughter of the KING -----ACT LIKE IT
We can give lip service and we can talk the talk- that is easy
Walking the walk however....another story
At the end of the day ask God to show you where you gave lip service or where you pleased Him and hear Him.
Just letting you know that God WILL show you and it will hurt for a while.....
just sayin...............
Been tough on me too....
join me on that challenge will ya?
I love you and believe in you Shelley Egeland
Yes, I am joining in on this challenge. I am asking people to hold me accountable because like she said I also do not want to be the person who says one thing and does another. Help me, pray for me, and join me if you will.
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Hakuna Matata- it means no worries
I was seeking answers, I knocked and the door opened.
I have come to this point amidst all the chaos where I am totally surrounded by peace. Part of me worries its a manic phase, but there is just this overwhelming feeling and peace which cannot be described without words. I feel anxious and excited, but more in the anticipatory stage than anything else. Not to say that bad thoughts don't get in and worm their way to my head. I call upon God and a peace which surpasses all understanding is mine.
How can I explain it? I cannot. All I can figure is this: God has a purpose in putting me where I am and I need to trust him. I have been blessed every time I do trust God, he has never not kept a promise (which means he always has) and his word says he will not leave or forsake me. So, why worry? Hakuna Matata my friends. Okay, not quite. Yes I have worries, yes I certainly have troubles. Is it going to be okay? Yes. I am going to grow and learn from this experience like never before.
Talking to strange men in bars is not a habit of mine - well it hasn't been for a long, long time. Yet Friday night I had a divine appointment with a guy named Sam. Now this was an after-conference networking event, so its not like I was hanging in bars trying to pick up men. In fact, I was peaceful in my chair until God told me to move. The bar was loud, and I found myself between two conversations, unable to hear any of them. So I got up and moved, perchance I started talking to Sam because he welcomed me to sit next to him. I think he was looking for a conversation as well. Or "networking" as they call it in business circles. We exchanged stories, and my mouth ran on a bit as always. I can't help but brag on my church and my pastor. I amazed myself as I was actually able to hold eye contact with a stranger. (I am getting better!) What really impressed him was when I was so flat-out honest and open about the rough times I had been going through. And I don't' mean I impressed him like he thinks I am awesome, but like I made an impression, an impact if you will. He told me that I encouraged him. It was a word others had told me before, about how God has his hand on me, and I said so, but I said it in a way as if to say "really? are people just being nice?" He said to me "you should listen to God's people."
I know that honestly most people in my shoes would be pretty darn well depressed, if not suicidal. If I let myself linger on it, it can bring me down. But you see, my hope is not in things or status or money or whatever can rust or be eaten by moths. My hope lies in things eternal; love, relationship, family, things that you can't buy with any amount of money.
Interesting how the conference talked about stripping away idols, and here I am stripped naked of my home, my financial stability, my income, a source of pride and stress and something to hold over my husbands head, and living in the last place I ever thought I would be.
I asked God for clarity, yet I have had the truth all along (kinda like the Force!)
1. Write a book. There is a story in all of this that will help others and spread the gospel. There might be several books.
2. Discipleship. Do it, work on it, commit to it. I find it important even before so I should just do it. (I am starting a small group if you are interested)
3. Community House. I would love to figure out what it means for us to live and share homes as a Christian family.
This is where I am called and to what. Right here, right now. At this place and time. Surrounded with exactly who I am surrounded by. God answers prayer, makes everything work out for good, and I am confident He will be beside me, leading the way even, every single step of the way.
I have come to this point amidst all the chaos where I am totally surrounded by peace. Part of me worries its a manic phase, but there is just this overwhelming feeling and peace which cannot be described without words. I feel anxious and excited, but more in the anticipatory stage than anything else. Not to say that bad thoughts don't get in and worm their way to my head. I call upon God and a peace which surpasses all understanding is mine.
How can I explain it? I cannot. All I can figure is this: God has a purpose in putting me where I am and I need to trust him. I have been blessed every time I do trust God, he has never not kept a promise (which means he always has) and his word says he will not leave or forsake me. So, why worry? Hakuna Matata my friends. Okay, not quite. Yes I have worries, yes I certainly have troubles. Is it going to be okay? Yes. I am going to grow and learn from this experience like never before.
Talking to strange men in bars is not a habit of mine - well it hasn't been for a long, long time. Yet Friday night I had a divine appointment with a guy named Sam. Now this was an after-conference networking event, so its not like I was hanging in bars trying to pick up men. In fact, I was peaceful in my chair until God told me to move. The bar was loud, and I found myself between two conversations, unable to hear any of them. So I got up and moved, perchance I started talking to Sam because he welcomed me to sit next to him. I think he was looking for a conversation as well. Or "networking" as they call it in business circles. We exchanged stories, and my mouth ran on a bit as always. I can't help but brag on my church and my pastor. I amazed myself as I was actually able to hold eye contact with a stranger. (I am getting better!) What really impressed him was when I was so flat-out honest and open about the rough times I had been going through. And I don't' mean I impressed him like he thinks I am awesome, but like I made an impression, an impact if you will. He told me that I encouraged him. It was a word others had told me before, about how God has his hand on me, and I said so, but I said it in a way as if to say "really? are people just being nice?" He said to me "you should listen to God's people."
I know that honestly most people in my shoes would be pretty darn well depressed, if not suicidal. If I let myself linger on it, it can bring me down. But you see, my hope is not in things or status or money or whatever can rust or be eaten by moths. My hope lies in things eternal; love, relationship, family, things that you can't buy with any amount of money.
Interesting how the conference talked about stripping away idols, and here I am stripped naked of my home, my financial stability, my income, a source of pride and stress and something to hold over my husbands head, and living in the last place I ever thought I would be.
I asked God for clarity, yet I have had the truth all along (kinda like the Force!)
1. Write a book. There is a story in all of this that will help others and spread the gospel. There might be several books.
2. Discipleship. Do it, work on it, commit to it. I find it important even before so I should just do it. (I am starting a small group if you are interested)
3. Community House. I would love to figure out what it means for us to live and share homes as a Christian family.
This is where I am called and to what. Right here, right now. At this place and time. Surrounded with exactly who I am surrounded by. God answers prayer, makes everything work out for good, and I am confident He will be beside me, leading the way even, every single step of the way.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Help for all you guys- what a woman REALLY wants
I love Don's style, he writes as if we were sitting in his living room drinking coffee and talking. I really get inside the guy's head, which satiates my inquisitive mind. If you grew up without a dad, with an absentee dad, an alcoholic dad, or a less than perfect dad- this book is for you.
Today Don included an excerpt from his book on his blog, and I just have to share it, because its good. This will help all my guy friends, and maybe even a few gal friends to pin down just what that thing is they need.
Every girl is different, but what I learned over a long period of time was that women are essentially attracted to confidence and mystery. I don’t mean to sound like a guy who is helping you pick up chicks. Please don’t think that. But I want to save some of you from floundering around.Girls don’t want a weak guy. People are insecure already, so they don’t want you to be insecure, too. Intuitively, they know they have eggs inside them that, eventually, are going to become little children, and they are looking for a mate who can provide for them and their eggs. If you go begging for love, they intuit that something is wrong, something is weak, and you won’t be able to take care of their eggs. Instead, you are just acting like another egg that they are going to have to nurture. And if they do like you they have their own issues and you don’t want any part of it. You don’t need another mommy. You need a wife.
What I am not saying, though, is that you should act confident. Don’t act confident, be confident. And you can’t be confident by looking in a mirror and telling yourself you are confident. Take a break from dating for a while. Seriously, you have other work to do. Instead, take up a hobby and get good at it. Start playing the guitar or a sport. Get good at something and improve your self-esteem. Once you’ve gained confidence, you can start thinking about a woman.
And they also like mystery. But it’s not really mystery they like, it’s strength. Girls don’t want you calling them all the time. They don’t want to be your rescuer. If you call them all the time or let them know you are thinking about them all the time, you are going to turn them off. The truth is, you should already have a full life you are invested in, and you should invite them into that life. My friend John Eldredge says you should be on an adventure, and you should invite them into that adventure. A girl doesn’t really want you to stare into her eyes like a lovesick puppy (at least not for long); she wants you to put your arms around her and stare into the horizon, to the place you are going together. So before focusing on the girl, go find an adventure, a calling, something you can do and get good at, something that makes money to provide for kids. The girl will come along pretty easily after that.
Some girls don’t find these things attractive but I think most girls do.
Here’s another thing that it took me a long time to understand. And it’s going to hurt. But I have to say it. Human attraction is conditional. Now, once you get married, you are committing to love your wife or husband unconditionally. But even then, attraction remains conditional. Guys, if you get weak, your wife may stay with you, but chances are she’s not going to be very attracted to you. Understanding what it is your mate is attracted to, be it strength or beauty, and giving that to them is a way of serving them. If you refuse to take responsibility for your life and expect your mate to still be attracted to you, it’s going to be a long, hard journey. Self pity is unattractive.
So, go buy his book, or any of his books for that matter. This guy has been inspiration beyond words, and I look forward to watching his impact on my story unfold.
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Living like its Saturday
I think most Christians live life on Saturday, I mean, they knew Jesus, saw the miracles he performed, but then on Friday he was crucified. We forget that Sunday happened. We forget the open grave. We forget the resurrection, we forget Jesus lives. Easter becomes about a bunny and chocolate and jelly beans, not an empty grave.
When bad things happen, or things we consider to be bad happen, do we turn from our God, forgetting how in 3 days Jesus defeated death and became our resurrected Lord? So often we take the opinion that its the end, that the story is over.
But when you begin to live your life like its Sunday, instead of Saturday, you have a new outlook on things. Death and endings are just the beginning, and there are so many new opportunities for a brand new start.
I just lost my job in March. Honestly, it took me a while to get to the place where I was okay with it. I was living a few days in Friday mentality, then quite some time in Saturday. I didn't feel anymore, just lost my hope. But, I look to my God and know that he has something spectacular planned for me. I know that every single time I trust in him, I am not disappointed, he blows my mind. Sunday comes, and the grave is empty. Jesus lives!
Last year, we brought home Jeramy to be a part of the family, this year I don't know what the empty grave really means, but I know it is going to be awesome, and nothing that I could imagine. God always has something planned that we can't imagine. His thoughts are higher than my thoughts, his ways are higher than my ways. So now, my Saturday takes on a whole different meaning than it used to. Before, it was dead, but now it is alive. Instead of dread and disappointment, Saturday holds anticipation for me of what Sunday might bring.
Which Saturday do you live in? The one where there is no hope? I want to invite you to take this Saturday to open your heart and your mind to the idea that something miraculous is about to happen. Something you can't even fathom the height or depth of the impact on your life. Trust in the ONE who defeated death. Trust that what God may remove from your life he only means to replace with something way more better.
Jesus was awesome- but if he didn't leave, defeat death, he couldn't send his Holy Spirit to fill us. Thanks God for Friday, Saturday, but especially for Sunday.
Happy Easter.
When bad things happen, or things we consider to be bad happen, do we turn from our God, forgetting how in 3 days Jesus defeated death and became our resurrected Lord? So often we take the opinion that its the end, that the story is over.
But when you begin to live your life like its Sunday, instead of Saturday, you have a new outlook on things. Death and endings are just the beginning, and there are so many new opportunities for a brand new start.
I just lost my job in March. Honestly, it took me a while to get to the place where I was okay with it. I was living a few days in Friday mentality, then quite some time in Saturday. I didn't feel anymore, just lost my hope. But, I look to my God and know that he has something spectacular planned for me. I know that every single time I trust in him, I am not disappointed, he blows my mind. Sunday comes, and the grave is empty. Jesus lives!
Last year, we brought home Jeramy to be a part of the family, this year I don't know what the empty grave really means, but I know it is going to be awesome, and nothing that I could imagine. God always has something planned that we can't imagine. His thoughts are higher than my thoughts, his ways are higher than my ways. So now, my Saturday takes on a whole different meaning than it used to. Before, it was dead, but now it is alive. Instead of dread and disappointment, Saturday holds anticipation for me of what Sunday might bring.
Which Saturday do you live in? The one where there is no hope? I want to invite you to take this Saturday to open your heart and your mind to the idea that something miraculous is about to happen. Something you can't even fathom the height or depth of the impact on your life. Trust in the ONE who defeated death. Trust that what God may remove from your life he only means to replace with something way more better.
Jesus was awesome- but if he didn't leave, defeat death, he couldn't send his Holy Spirit to fill us. Thanks God for Friday, Saturday, but especially for Sunday.
Happy Easter.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
I need EASTER
I need Easter this year more than ever before.
I need to remember that Jesus didn't just die on the cross for my sins and it ends there. I need to remember that he rose again, and defeated death. The life I lead doesn't have to stay on the cross, but can be a resurrection life. I can't believe I live much of my life as if Jesus died on the cross, but not as the tomb was empty.
I need to embrace being shaped by the Potter, this broken piece of clay. I am not alone. I need Jesus more and more all the time. I wish Jesus was like a magic wand, its not. In fact I told someone tonight that my life has gotten way more complicated since I gave him my life in '06. Jesus doesn't make us think that this life is an easy one. He reminds us often it is not. In John 16:33 Jesus tells us "...in this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." I hang tight to that, in my dear savior's arms.
Knowing the financial trouble I am in is due to the legal case I have been involved in. I would do it again in a heartbeat. People and relationships matter more to me than stuff, houses, or any stability. Because you know in the end you can't take any of that with you, but you can impact lives and hearts with your own.
I want to stop being all about me, and more about Jesus. I want to serve those who need his love. I want Jesus to greet me from the shore, cooking breakfast- RISEN.
I need to remember that Jesus didn't just die on the cross for my sins and it ends there. I need to remember that he rose again, and defeated death. The life I lead doesn't have to stay on the cross, but can be a resurrection life. I can't believe I live much of my life as if Jesus died on the cross, but not as the tomb was empty.
I need to embrace being shaped by the Potter, this broken piece of clay. I am not alone. I need Jesus more and more all the time. I wish Jesus was like a magic wand, its not. In fact I told someone tonight that my life has gotten way more complicated since I gave him my life in '06. Jesus doesn't make us think that this life is an easy one. He reminds us often it is not. In John 16:33 Jesus tells us "...in this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." I hang tight to that, in my dear savior's arms.
Knowing the financial trouble I am in is due to the legal case I have been involved in. I would do it again in a heartbeat. People and relationships matter more to me than stuff, houses, or any stability. Because you know in the end you can't take any of that with you, but you can impact lives and hearts with your own.
I want to stop being all about me, and more about Jesus. I want to serve those who need his love. I want Jesus to greet me from the shore, cooking breakfast- RISEN.
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