This time last year, I was starting to respond to the call in my heart. My friend Becky was just baptized, and I felt that I should start going to church. On February 2 I bought the Bible I carry around and read like crazy now. Mom was still with us. I had no idea what God had in store for me. I saw things foggy, and was unsure of the future, but I knew that God had a plan. God was going to use all of this pain and suffering that I was enduring, that the family was enduring, to stretch us and to make us grow. I started going to church with Dave. And grow we did. The more we studied His word, attended church, got involved with things, the more we grew.
God did not intend for us to be unhappy, unmarried, unsure about life and the future. God did want us to be happy, married, and sure about our future. Ok, so God did not tell us what the future was going to be. Just this... its a God-sized vision, and with God we can do anything.
Yesterday we received some news, and we believe that God is stretching us yet again. This God-sized thing is amazing. We are super excited about it. This time last year, it would have devastated us. Now, we are ready to undertake what is about to happen. We are surrounded by friends, family, and the love and support of our growing friends at the church. We see this as an opportunity to do God's will, to be what He wants us to be.
Sorry, but I have to keep you in suspense for now. When we have confirmed word from the world, we will let you know for sure. We already know God's will, we are just waiting. Trying to be patient can be hard when you are so excited.
We just cannot praise God enough right now. We pray that His will be done, and that everything goes as smoothly as possible. Our response is this: YES LORD!
It is not about me. Sometimes you get so wrapped up in whats going on you forget, its about God. I read some Bible last night, working through Acts, wondering what God was going to speak to me. I fell asleep, slept well. In the morning I knew.
I woke up conversing with God, continuing my lesson from the night before. God is a living God, speaking to us today. Even with a book a gazillion years old, every word rings true because it is the Word of God.
The next word for me is ...wait upon the Lord. Let Him show you, just follow Him, and you will see...
I started reading this book "Experiencing God" by Henry Blackaby and Claude King. Finally I find a point of view that makes total sense (straight from the Bible) about some questions I had. Not to put others down, but this point of view made the most sense. What am I talking about? Well, I was anxious to find my God-given gift. I did not know what I was supposed to be doing, and started reading books like "Chazown" to help me figure that out. While it was a great book, I left feeling like what do I do now? It did help me jump into a few things at church, but still I felt anxious.
Here is what I am learning... It is not me who does the work, but God working in me. Instead of waiting for what I think I am good at, I am supposed to look around for where God is already at work and join Him. Firstly, I need to submit to Him. This means that I am supposed to be the clay, and God the potter. I can only become what I am meant to be if I let Him mold me. Trust that in His hands I will become not only useful, but also beautiful. I need to die daily and submit to God. Also, I need to be the one to adjust to God. God does not adjust to me (how crazy is it I used to think that?)
When I think about how many prayers I have said asking God to change things, I feel guilty and selfish. But I have learned, and grown. Now I ask God to shape me, mold me to His will. If I am not happy with something, it is a sign that I am the one who needs to change, not anyone else. And when I feel anxious, I need to remember what Jesus said "follow me, come and see." God's timing is perfect, and if I follow him, I will see his will, and it will be glorious.
Thanks God, my marriage is glorious.
Sometimes when things get tough, you don't want to face it. You don't want to get up after you fall, you don't want to wake up in the morning and you certainly don't want to go through it again. But not kids. Little kids fall down all the time, but they keep getting up. Eventually they learn how to walk. How am I supposed to learn how to walk if I don't get up?
You are not alone. God is always there, holding out his hands. Take hold of them and pull yourself closer to him. Still having trouble? If you have some good friends, they should give you a nudge to help you along. Good friends don't say "yeah, that sucks, just have a beer and it will be okay." No, good friends get behind you and push. Good friends cheer you along, and help you get closer to God. Friends you don't need will be biting your ankles, trying to keep you down, stopping you from learning to walk. Hint: they are not your friends.
In this way I realize one of the ways we have to become like children to enter the Kingdom of Heaven. If we think we can get up by ourselves all of the time, we will never reach up and grab for God's hands, and we certainly will not lean on our friends for a push. We are not meant to be fully independent, we are meant for COMMUNITY.
This also means that we have to play fair. It is not cool to have your friend push you on the swings if you don't push your friend the next time. You cannot just take, you have to give back. The word for this "giving back" is service. CCC had a great service on service this weekend. Check out the message here when they finally upload it... click on contribute. Also, check out "Serving Back" on YouTube, an excellent parody of Justin Timberlake's hot song.
Yeah, I know I didn't really sum this up well, but you will get stuck playing on YouTube anyway.
Believe it or not, I took this photograph on vacation (you know, the honeymoon!). It is one of my favorites that I took. Why? Because amidst all of the beauty that he created, I found beauty in the cross where Christ was crucified. The place where he was pinned bloody and broken and humiliated for me, for my marriage, for my brokenness. That with the pain comes beauty, sunshine, promise and glory. With the cross comes light. With the cross comes resurrection.
It took me a long time to find the power that comes with accepting Christ into my life. Now that I have it, I want to remember it and celebrate it every day. I want to shout it from the rooftops. When I was at the Grand Canyon, and viewing the red rocks in Sedona, it was a religious experience. God has so much beauty in this creation, one can only fathom the beauty of heaven.
God, you have blessed me so much with my life, all that I have, and the people in my life... my wedding was a testimony to that. For that I feel that words fall short of thanking you, so I ask for your help in living my life, my marriage, as a testimony to you. Thank you Jesus.
"I want to know Christ and experience the mighty power that raised him from the dead. I want to suffer with him, sharing in his death, so that one way or another I will experience the resurrection from the dead!" Philippians 3:10-11
Just wanted to say we are back... and exhausted! Dave and I had a blast, and will update you all soon. In the meantime, pardon us while we take naps in between doing laundry.
Tuesday was my last night off as a single woman. Dave and I decided to make it our last single date night. Not too crazy considering we are marrying each other, but it was! Not to sound silly, but Dave and I felt almost like we were on a "first" date.
We started out by running errands for the wedding, this was not part of our official date, but in a way it was. We stopped by the post office, it was closed in honor of Gerald Ford. 20 people must have come in, looked confused and left while I was in line to buy stamps at the machine. How is the world supposed to know? It was not even posted until you came inside the building?!?! We then headed to the salon to get his hair cut, and I lined up someone to do my hair (my previous arrangement fell through.) Without boring you, it was kind of neat to be at a salon with my future husband. Guys aren't much for getting their hair done, well at least Dave isn't. But we built repiore by enjoying some time together in a new place doing a new thing. Dave got to see me get highlights in my hair, tinfoil, head under the dryer and all. Who does that on a first date?
We then went home to get ready, I did my makeup etc. Then we headed out to the site of our first date: BD's Mongolian BBQ downtown Naperville. On the ride down I did the same thing I did our first date, head the wrong way by mistake (I did not intend to.) Dave tried to talk about his nieces and nephew like he did on our first date. The wait was 45 minutes! We walked around downtown and then sat at the bar and had a drink. It ended up working out well, because by the time we ate, the line was short to get our stir fry grilled. On the walk back to the car, Dave and I talked. We decided we would rather have one of today's date than one million of our first dates.
We then decided to drive around Naperville and check out the chapel where we are gonna get married. It is beautiful at night. The stars and moon shone in all of God's glory. We also found that Naperville accidentally built our wedding cake down by the riverwalk. We should talk to someone about why they wrote 175 on the cake... The rest of the date was spent watching a movie at AMC Cantera 30. It was a good movie, could have been a bit shorter. Not enough action for the time. The Good Shepherd was directed by DeNiro and starred Matt Damon. We left glad we did not work for the CIA.
So, I end my single life glad for this: I am marrying the man I love on Sunday.
This time last year, I was starting to respond to the call in my heart. My friend Becky was just baptized, and I felt that I should start going to church. On February 2 I bought the Bible I carry around and read like crazy now. Mom was still with us. I had no idea what God had in store for me. I saw things foggy, and was unsure of the future, but I knew that God had a plan. God was going to use all of this pain and suffering that I was enduring, that the family was enduring, to stretch us and to make us grow. I started going to church with Dave. And grow we did. The more we studied His word, attended church, got involved with things, the more we grew.
