But I aint got no money honey

Its the end of the month. That time when you wonder when the next check is on its way. In particular, I am wondering where my check is for my re-finance deal. Hello! McFly!

I have Labor Day weekend off (its a miracle) and I want to take advantage of the great sales. You save big money at Mainerds, remember? I have things to buy, a home to re-do.

Oh and do I have work to do! I need to finish packing "zee crap" and move it all to my dad's house. Anyone free on Monday afternoon? Email me, we need help. I shot my back out (yet again) at work tonight, (I really shouldn't even be lifting a beer. Thats why you do shots, they weigh less.) We have only one friend lined up, the rest are out of town or I haven't called them yet. (Dominos? Do you deliver boxes?)

So, I can't even sign with my contractor until the check comes. Hi, will you promise to love, honor and cherish my home until the check bounces? You won't, hmmm...

Good news, bonus check in the works for mid-September 5.6% (minus government taxes of 37% plus your retirement deductions). If my math is right, and it rarely is, that equals a little more than one paycheck... I wanna go away, far, far away where no one ever ever needs an x-ray, but I might have to wait on that one... you know, obligations and all.

Summer nuts

Hey, summer is nuts! I end up logging on, checking email, poking or tattooing my friends on Facebook, reading blogs then saying "oh snap! what time is it?"

Thus explains my lack of blogs this week.

Yesterday was a wonderfully productive day. I had a lunch date with my husband in which we ate at Quigley's Irish Pub in Naperville, followed by perusing at Restoration Hardware and Pottery Barn. Not to mention Barnes and Nobles, which could eat my entire day up. After I dropped him back off at work, I headed to Menards, (which I say like Mainerds) and found my matching ceiling fan and ceiling light to install. I also picked out lightbulbs and got overwhelmed at the amount of tile selections.

After a wonderful evening at Celebrate the Journey at CCC, I headed over to Home Depot and found a bunch of stuff for my bathroom; faucets, a fancy schmancy curved shower pole, matching do-dads for toilet paper holding and towel holding, also the shower curtain hooks match. For those who have curious minds, I decided to go with brushed nickel finish.

I am starting to get really psyched for my remodel. One bid is in, and I am STILL waiting on another... (gee don't sway me at all by being late...) I think I have picked out my new doorknobs and some other stuff. Don't worry, I already have to return something, the towel bar is too long, I am just gonna go with hooks instead.

N E way... oh shap! What time is it?

Just (two) of those days

Work has been NUTZO crazy busy. Thursday, we had really bad storms, a roof collapsed and the ER filled up with patients. It was already busy upstairs... Friday we had two of us in the OR almost all night, and three of us for a good chunk. Also, I was on call, and had to stay late for the last case. Of course my head is still buzzing, which is why it is Saturday now and I can't find what I did with that dog. No rest for the weary however, I head back to work again at 3pm. No doubt it will be a nuthouse.

I do have to say though, we had some excellent teamwork today, and I really appreciated how everyone pitched in to help without complaining. We all just did it, and it got done. Never mind the fact we had no break and our dinners were wolfed down on the fly. I made sure to try to thank everyone, despite the insanity, it was nice.

Of course, lets start today out right... I closed on my mortgage refinance. My sister also came into town to help pack up. So I run from OakBrook home and deal with out stoplights as I race to work to make it 10 minutes late!!! At least my sis and I had a decent lunch together before the insanity began.

It could be worse, I could have had no power, like many people. I thank God that he kept me and my family safe and with power. I could not handle being without air conditioning. Yes, I am a spoiled suburbanite but I have health issues and I like being spoiled. Thank you God that I am spoiled.

Well, I better check to make sure there is not a cat in the freezer...

I need you God

I realized (yet again) how frustrated I was with time, and a post on another blog reminded me... God's timing is perfect... not mine.

I feel like DOH!!!

God, you have great plans for me, use me, take the time with me. I want to do your will, not mine. Your plans always work out awesome... mine, notsomuch. I know you want to bless me and Dave tremendously with this, so I just have to be patient. Help me be patient, I am just a dog,er, human and I am only dust. I need you God, I cannot do this myself.

Also, please help those people I am praying for with their needs too. They need help being patient and waiting on you just like I do. We love you LORD! Thanks for Jesus, in whose name I pray...Amen.

Abort mission, no go, NO GO

The other day Dave and I came across Space Cowboys with Clint Eastwood and some other great guys in it. It got me all into this mode for the title.

Turns out the underwriters are taking their sweet sweet time with my application, and I cannot close tomorrow on my re-fi. This means no blowing thousands of dollars at the Home Depot/Lowes/Menards tommorow. We do not have a green light. No go. Abort mission. At least for now...

In the meantime, I waste energy on Facebook when I should start packing up my china cabinet... Perhaps I will stop trying to pet all of the fluffs, at least for the day. I am going to throw sheep at everyone I know. Maybe pinch people too, or write on their walls.

Argh, I am tired... Well, off to jamma jam land.

I am such a joiner...

Someone discovered how fun Facebook really is. Me. I am enjoying it tons more than MySpace. I have adopted a pet, pinched and high fived people, and even got a sheep thrown at me. Also, someone has given me a flower... It is super user friendly, and everyone is doing it... so why not you?

Hey, if you are on Facebook, make me your friend! I might slap you! It will be fun.

A big ask from a small dog

Hi, I know this may sound strange, but I was wondering if you would be my friend? I am so excited when I see you, and you always make me feel so good about myself! I was afraid of you at first, because others have not been so kind. But you are really nice, I love it when you scratch behind my ears! You make it feel safe to love again. I am still learning, so this is a big thing for me, asking you like this. Please be honest with me. I would love to show you where I buried my bone, maybe I will even share it with you. We can go out into the tall grass and run around and play together, I really would like that. So please, if you would like it, would you be my friend?

Advocate, Visionary, Musical, Naturalist, Word Warrior, Inspirational

Wow, I had no idea how much music influenced my life, I mean I knew it, but I didn't know it! Maybe I really should pursue those voice lessons... Also interesting how one says I am an extrovert, and the other says I am introverted... One asks how I relate to people, and the other asks if I like to journal, study, etc. I am self-aware, but enjoy people just as much, I guess. I use extroverted intuition... Also I like pets and nature. Gee, really?!?!

So, famous people that I am like (this is the funny part): Alicia Silverstone (see, I knew I liked her!), Andy Kaufman, Andy Rooney, Bill Cosby, Bob Dylan, Carol Burnett, Dave Thomas (yes the Wendy's guy), Dr. Seuss, Martin Short, Sandra Bullock, Phil Donahue (????), Regis Philbin (is that your final answer?), Robin Williams, Mark Twain and Charles Dickens. Also, Balki, Dr. Doug Ross, Steve Urkel, and Will from Fresh Prince. (Hopefully not as annoying as Balki and Urkel.)

Congratulations, Shelley!
Your IQ score is 126

This number is based on a scientific formula that compares how many questions you answered correctly on the Classic IQ Test relative to others.

Your Intellectual Type is Word Warrior. This means you have exceptional verbal skills. You can easily make sense of complex issues and take an unusually creative approach to solving problems. Your strengths also make you a visionary. Even without trying you're able to come up with lots of new and creative ideas. And that's just a small part of what we know about you from your test results.

Wow, that is two tests telling me that I am a visionary. No wonder people want me on idea committees.

Shelley, your most unique quality is that you're unusually Inspirational

You inspire others around you with your creative energy and thirst for new experiences. You are exceptionally curious and aren't afraid of learning new things — which is probably because you tend to focus on the potential positive outcome of any experience rather than dwelling on the potential negatives. You are a true explorer in the word. You want to understand and experience it all, and you're especially open to new feelings and ideas. Compared to others who are open, you are unusually flexible in your thinking. Only 6.5% of all test takers have this unique combination of personality strengths.

Hey, I am starting to like this personality test thing...

Smile, you are loved

I have always had a hard time taking compliments. After a lifetime of being made fun of, I don't believe the nice things people say about me. It is true, but I am working on it. I am supposed to smile and say thank you. So thank you.

Working on self-esteem is tough. I have had 30 years of knocking it down, it won't all come back in 30 minutes. Not only am I finding that God loves me and cherishes me and finds me captivating, but some people do too.

My husband is the first one to stop me when I put myself down. Especially when I get down on myself for my weight. Dave always reminds me that he loves me and thinks I am beautiful the way that I am. I have made some wonderful friends that love me for who I am too, and am working on building those friendships. Thank you.

That is the cool thing about God, he sent Jesus to die for our sins while we were still sinners (Romans 5:8). What this means is God loves you the way you are and he is not asking you to change who you are. God wants you to be the person that he meant for you to be, to reach your full potential. This starts with accepting Jesus, and loving God. Everything else will follow, and the blessings will blow your mind. Seriously, imagine how happy you could be, and multiply that to the gizillionth power. No, loving God is NOT an instant fix, it is a work in progress and your joy comes in seeing how God is going to surprise you around every turn.

How do you start? You start a relationship with God the way you do with anyone else. You talk to Him. You pray, you read the Bible (because that is HIS words he is speaking to you.) Also, surround yourself with encouraging, loving people. Get involved in a community of folks who love God, he will be with you there as well. Then give back, offer to others what you have and they don't have. Watch the blessings multiply.

Having a bad day? Smile, you are loved! God loves you, and so do I!

Home remodeling cartoon style

Hey, here is the cartoon picture of me, Abby and Phoebe in our new updated kitchen... courtesy of Burger King and www.simpsonizeme.com

As you can see, corn on the cob is high fashion for drapes. Also, gotta love the coordinating green stove. I will make sure my painter does my cabinets in orange and purple as well. At least I got to keep my blue dishwasher! (just kidding my dishwasher is actually bisque)

For some reason, Abby and Phoebe look a lot like Santa's Little Helper and Snowball, but maybe it is just me.

Hurry, while it's still cool! Simpsonize yourself!

I got up early for this?

Today was the appraisal. The guy arrived promptly at 10am as promised. I was not even dressed! After throwing some clothes on and grabbing more coffee, I surfed the channels while he went around measuring and snapping photos.

Ten minutes and he was done. What?!? You just needed to come in and out and I had to get up early for a ten minute appointment... figures. I didn't get to bed till like 3am, so I barely got 6 hours of sleep. At least I will know why I end up yawning all day.

The cat disappeared for that time, and the dog desperately tried to get the guy's attention. No such luck. After he left, I had to play with the dog and pet the cat for a good half hour. Poor confused animals. Just they wait to see what is gonna happen next!

Offers for help are pouring in from friends and family. Some referrals, some people saying "hey I can do this," some people just saying "I got a truck." It is so awesome to know how much I am loved. Some people are design and remodel nuts, so I have plenty of people to lean on for ideas. Yesterday I quizzed a co-worker on curtains. (Hey, I have never bought them before.)

Tomorrow is the meeting with a contractor. Best news: it is not until 3, so I can sleep in! After I get some figures (how much I need to spend and how much I am getting) I can figure out exactly what is going to happen. The fun begins!

Thank you to Neo and Cody. Your lawyer is a really nice guy, we get along great!

Up for grabs

This random internet cat is courtesy of Neo at JBI. This is his cat Cody. I told him I was going to steal him, and he told me to wear long sleeves. Cody is a cutie. I bet him and Phoebe would get along great. Seeing as I am not going anywhere near Philly anytime soon, I have to settle for stealing his photos.

I am getting much better in the sick department, so much so that I am excited enough to mention it.

I have nothing left to say, so it is your turn. Click on comments and tell me what's up...

Hi how are you update

I just love it when people ask me "hi, how are you?" I highly doubt they want the true answer. This is what you just do to be nice. I am trying to cut that out... I am going to say "nice to see you" or "I miss you" or "what's shakin'?" but stop asking "how are you" unless I truly mean it.

Today's answer to "how are you?" comes from the dog in the above photo. I am okay, but still sick and thus not too happy about my sneezing and nose blowing. I prefer when my head does not feel like a booger. Praise God, I am not too sick to work, thus not sick enough to give up my raise by calling in too many times.

I am sure my co-workers are sick of me being sick, but not as sick as I am sick of me being sick. *cough*

I have many busy things to be doing. I work this weekend, so I have an excuse for not do anything (because I don't want to be too sick.) I just pray for the strength to get me through this next two months. Why? Well, here it is, publicly. Dave and I are re-financing the house and will be doing some major re-modeling. So, while we are not moving, this is the closest thing. I have to get stuff out of here so that the carpet can be pulled and the house painted etc... Thanks to Dad and Yola, we have a place to stay for free while we remodel. This will make the process easier, however we will be doing this without taking any time off from work. Thus, strength is needed, physical, emotional, and mentally.

So now while I am super excited about living in our "new" home, I am not super excited about the process. I guess life is like that with any change... it kinda is hard work to do, but worth it in the end. Please pray for me and Dave as we undertake this changing process so that we can keep our sanity. In the meantime, I want to coin a new phrase "when the going gets tough, stick out your tongue!" What do you think? (Let me guess, cheesy?)

Baby news!

No, not me! But, a very good friend of mine just told me that her and her husband are going to start trying for a baby! Yeah!!!!! I am so excited.

Having a baby is a big deal! It is bringing a new life into the world. A human. Someone with thoughts and feelings, and NEEDS. This baby is not a dolly, and it will turn into a teenager one day and literally try to eat you out of house and home.

Yet, people continue to flourish on the earth. We must be worth it! I know sometimes that life is overwhelming, but then I remember that God decided to create us, and he had a purpose.... to love us. He created us as beings to receive His love. Kinda neat, like when humans decide to have babies. It just means so much that we were not an accident, and that God chose us, which is not always the case with humans.... Thank you God for creating me to love you, and be loved by you.

Not again...

I knew I was in trouble the minute I said it. Last week sometime, I mentioned to me boss that I only had a few more weeks to make it without being sick before my call-ins were reset. Now, I have yet to call in, but I am sick. Of course this means that everyone else is going to get sick, or at least those of us that get sick.

How come some folks never ever get sick, and some like me get sick everytime it comes around? I take two different allergy pills, so when my sinuses act up, it is not my allergies. I can no longer take original Sudafed, as my blood pressure cannot handle being on meth. Sudafed PE only lasts four hours and makes me a little out of it. My nose is red and raw.

Luckily today, it is moving down. The cold is in my lower sinuses and my throat today. I will start taking Mucinex instead, hopefully that will help. I just sneezed, perhaps in addition.

So, don't mind me if I go around doped up with boogers in my eyes. I have things to do, people to see, a write up to NOT get. Pass the vitamin C.

Hard work leads to long nap

These are pictures of me and Dave when we got home last night. We helped out at the City of Lights day of service in east Aurora yesterday. You can read about it a little on Kirsten's blog. We had over 300 volunteers at three different grade schools (okay, one was a middle school) helping to improve the look of the schools for when kids come back in a few weeks. This is an impoverished area of the community, where it is hard for kids to care about school. Hopefully, making the schools look nicer and cleaner helps them to take some pride in the hard work that they do.

In particular, Dave and I helped to repaint some worn stairs at the school. Working with my husband was awesome, I really enjoyed it. I love it when I walked past the stairs and they were shining bright, and not dull and worn and dirty. Many people helped with landscaping. Wow, it just looked really good. Fresh mulch, new plants, flowers and trees were all around the school. Also a much needed power-washing occurred.

It was really awesome to watch all the people work together to get this accomplished. I really felt the blessing of God on us yesterday.

We culminated the night with live music, barbecue pork sandwiches, and a bilingual worship service. It was awesome!

When we got home (like around 6-6:30), Dave and I laid down to nap, and slept until 11pm! It was a good nap, well earned, but it dashed our plans for renting a movie. Oh well, missing out on the rental was worth it.

Now I pray that God is with us today as well. I have to face a fallen tree on a shed at Woodhaven. Be with me God, I need you today too!

On the brink

I am at a point where a decision must be made. One of the ways brink is defined is "point of onset" the other is "the threshold of danger." Wow, I never new that change was dangerous... but it is, if you don't put it in the right hands.

I asked God for help, I cannot decide this on my own. This is something big, something large. If God helps me decide, I will be stepping in faith, but landing. If I decide on my own, I will be jumping off the brink. Kinda like Indiana Jones in The Last Crusade. I need to take that leap of faith.

God, show up big time for me. I need that bridge to be there. Let me know which step is the right one to take. This is a big decision, I want your will done here, not mine.

David Crowder Band hits on this idea pretty well in Forever and Ever Etc. Check out the lyrics, and decide if you want to let go and jump. It is based on the fact that God loves you more than possible for anyone but Him. (Also click on the title of the song above for a link to the video on YouTube, hilarious squirrel war Anime action.)

Love so incredible to know
It's never gonna go
Never gonna go

Love too impossible and true
For anyone but You
For anyone but You

I think I'm on the brink of something large
Maybe like the breaking of a dawn
Or maybe like a match being lit
Or the sinking of a ship
Letting go gives a better grip

I'm finding everything I'll ever need
By giving up gaining everything
Falling for You for eternity
Right here at Your feet
Where I wanna be
I am Yours

Love so indelible to know
You're never gonna go
You're never gonna go

Love too unthinkable and true
For anyone but You
For anyone but You

Maybe like a match being lit
Or the sinking of a ship
Letting go gives a better grip

I'm finding everything I'll ever need
By giving up gaining everything
Falling for You for eternity
Right here at Your feet
Where I wanna be

I'm finding everything I'll ever need
By giving up gaining everything
Falling for You for eternity
Right here at Your feet
Where I wanna be

I am Yours forever...

I'm finding everything I'll ever need
By giving up gaining everything
Falling for You for eternity
Right here at Your feet
Where I wanna be

I'm finding everything I'll ever need
By giving up gaining everything
Falling for You for eternity
Right here at Your feet
Where I wanna be
I am Yours

Forever and ever and ever and ever
And ever and ever and ever and ever...

Wounds, healing, hope, friends

I just finished a terrific read. Henri Nouwen wrote this book before I was born, but it touched my soul. In The Wounded Healer, I learned a lot about how my wounds can help heal others. He says that "only by entering into communion with human suffering can relief be found." To me this means that we need to understand pain to heal pain. Or, in other words, you need to feel it so you can heal it.

One of the best things that I have found to be true in my life is that sharing my hurts with others helps me to heal mine. This means I have to hear their hurts, but it helps me. I don't know how to describe it. I have found a safe community full of the love of God, and we are all hurting, all there to heal.

Nouwen said "Love not only lasts forever, it needs only a second to come about." I realized how true this statement was today. By making ourselves vulnerable to each other, we experienced a love that will last forever, and it only took a second to happen. Its amazing what happens when you surround yourself with good people. You get hope.

Nouwen says this about hope: "Hope prevents us from clinging to what we have and frees us to move away from the safe place and enter unknown and fearful territory." Hope helps us to grow. If Lewis and Clark never explored the territory, where would we be? The territory is only fearful because we know nothing of it... but it always helps us when you don't go there alone.

I am no longer alone. Besides God, Dave, and family, I now have some women friends to go through this with. They are a gift from God, beautiful precious jewels. I never had this before, not since Ring in kindergarten left to go back to Taiwan.

And I am not afraid to take that step. Thanks God.