Welcome back to school

Not sure what to do this labor day weekend? Yearbook yourself. It is hilarious and just might take you back to the day, or your parent's day, or your grandparent's day. I know how much I look like my grandma now. Seriously, its sad.

What's also sad is how many of these hairstyles I have worn. Or how good I look in some of them. Like the fro! I so could have pulled that one off.... NOT!

Its quite possible that several of these could take the place of my senior photo. Infact, I think the second one is as close as it gets!

Ahh, will the wonders of the internet never cease!?!?

Congratulations Paul

Yesterday, Dave, Ed and myself had the honor of baptizing Paul into the family of Christ.

Welcome Paul.

See this post for when we almost first did it.

We did this at Celebrate the Journey. Thank you to all who came by to support Paul.

This makes the third baptism I have been a part of. My own, my husbands, and now Paul. It was exciting to be a part of it, but all of the glory goes to Jesus, who did all the work. We just showed up. Thanks Jesus.

Emmanuel

God With Us by Mercy Me

Who are we
That You would be mindful of us
What do You see
That’s worth looking our way

We are free
In ways that we never should be
Sweet release
From the grip of these chains

Like hinges straining from the weight
My heart no longer can keep from singing

-Chorus-
All that is within me cries
For You alone be glorified
Emmanuel
God with us

My heart sings a brand new song
The debt is paid these chains are gone
Emmanuel
God with us

Lord You know
Our hearts don’t deserve Your glory
Still You show
A love we cannot afford

Like hinges straining from the weight
My heart no longer can keep from singing

Such a tiny offering compared to Calvary
Nevertheless we lay it at Your feet

This song has been our theme song since May. God wants Dave and me to know that He is with us, always.

So, I bought this book at the Leadership Summit by John Burke called Soul Revolution. It details a 60-60 experiment. Read all about it at SoulRevolution.net. Anyway, I got my husband to read it, and he really wanted to try it. So we went and bought some watches that beep every 60 minutes. (I love no sales tax in Oregon, gives me an excuse to shop.) My watch also keeps track of my golf score, so I guess I need to take up golf.

The point of the experiment is to see what happens when you live a life in constant contact with God. It makes you really conscious of God, and paying attention to His presence in your life. It makes you share even the dumbest details of your life with God. For example, I woke up and peed, then invited God to spend the day with me. Then I thought I guess God wants to be a part of everything in my life, including that. Because God is there, he knows everything, but he wants us to include him in everything. Its like God is in the room with you, but you don't include him, he feels left out. It breaks his heart. This 60-60 is supposed to help us be aware of him in the room, and include him in our lives.

My husband said, "this sounds life-changing" and change is always scary for him, but he wanted it. For once he wanted a change, a good change. This is awesome.

We almost didn't make it onto the airplane yesterday.

I checked into the kiosk 3 minutes late and it said that our reservations were canceled, and the lady on the phone said she could put us on a flight to San Francisco at 8pm. I got MAD. Really mad. I said "this is retarded!" She wanted to delay our coming home and charge us 125 bucks for changing flights! Deep inside, I knew I deserved it. We were late to the airport. 3 minutes is three minutes. I could go into how Dave's son didn't want us to leave, and the Oregon traffic, but in truth, we did not deserve to be on that airplane. The guy behind the counter got us boarding passes, and we raced through security only to find they hadn't even begun to board the flight.

Coming out of the bathroom, I cried. This is grace. Grace, undeserved favor. God showed us how even a tiny error from the "law" can keep us from home. In the Bible it says if you break even one of the laws in the tiniest bit, you break them all. The whole law is broken. That is why we need Jesus, that is why we need grace. I cried because we did not deserve to be on that flight. I cried because I did nothing good to deserve heaven. Yet God was with us, he sent his son Jesus who obeyed the law, and then suffered and died for us, so that we could be with him in heaven.

I cried on the plane. I cried because there is a little boy we were leaving behind who was going to have to go through a lot of pain. It was nothing that was his fault. None of this is his fault, yet he has to pay the price. I cried because I wish I could take all of that away. I cried because he wanted us to stay. I cried because I needed to cry. I cried because this is going to be the hardest year of his life and he has no idea. I cry because I have no idea what his mom is telling him. I cry because she tells him things that I cannot control, and I cry because she makes him codependent. I cry because ripping off the band-aid hurts no matter if you do it fast or slow. I cry because God is with me, with us. I cry because I don't deserve it. I cry because the little boy knows nothing about my Jesus, and his concept is so messed up because of his mom. I cry because so much of him is messed up because of his mom. I cry because God wants me to cry. He wants me to feel. He wants me to know that his heart is broken too. He wants me to know it is okay for me to cry.

I cried when I went the wrong way, not because I went the wrong way, but because I was praying I would not see any homeless kids hitchhiking on the highway, and I did. This area is so impoverished, this area is so hopeless. I want to help them. I want to give them hope. I can't. But, my Jesus can. No one should have to be homeless in the United States. Yet poverty is horrible. Unemployment is horrible. The school system is horrible. The health care system is horrible. Welcome to America, where the rich get richer and the poor get poorer. Some people have Africa, the Phillipines, China.... I have America. My heart breaks for the things that break God's heart.

Listen to "Girl America" by Mat Kearney. Try not to cry and/or rock out.

Try listening to God, and see how that changes your life. I dare you. Check out http://www.soulrevolution.net/

Email me, twitter me, facebook me, IM me, leave a comment, let me know how God is speaking to you.

Weigh IN.... and travelling and pants

Last weigh in weight: 238.5
Today's weight: 242.7
Total weight lost: 34.9 lbs.
Weight to lose to mini-goal: 17.7

This is what happens when you go to Burger King, McDonalds, or Sonic every day.
Also you spend a lot of time on your butt in a car or plane.
Also your Aunt Flo is in town and she is not in a very good mood. She brought a lot of baggage with her.

Celebrating this week: I went to the Old Navy jean sale on Saturday. Jeans were 12 bucks for adults. The largest size they have is a 20. I fit in them! Too bad they don't make my butt look like that<----- The great news is that I can finally shop at Old Navy and have Old Navy jeans. This has been a lifelong dream of mine, odd but true. See I have always had to shop in the Men's section, and now I don't have to, except for my husband, and now I can buy pants (for me!). Hopefully, my old pants will travel to someone who really needs them, as I will be donating them. I have a lot of reflections for the week, but it requires a separate post.

West Coast

For those of you following along, we are safe on the west coast, and things are going well for the visit so far. Please keep praying!

Yesterday was overcast, and it rained only at 9pm.

Today looks sunny so far, and we should have good weather for our entire visit.

I miss my dog and cat and friends, will see you all soon!

Monday Weigh IN

Last weigh in weight: 240.5
Today's weight: 238.5
Total weight lost: 39.1 lbs.
Weight to lose to mini-goal: 13.5

Seems as if I am back to what I was the week before, which is awesome.
The real challenge will be keeping it off with a week of travel.
I don't arrive until late Monday, so will not weigh in or blog again until Tuesday next week.

I don't know exactly what is going to happen on this trip. I really have to trust that God is working behind the scenes for HIS glory, not mine. And that HIS will be done, not mine. I do however like it when my will lines up with His.... now I must pack, blog at you later!

Beachy

Spent the day at the beach with some friends... my small group family plus my sister.

It was awesome.

We leave for out west on Tuesday.

Twittering through Nehemiah

Hey, instead of blogging through Nehemiah, I am twittering.

Follow me here: http://twitter.com/shell_e

Learn my insights on Nehemiah in 140 characters or less!

Bet you are jealous now!

Nice way to open your email:

CONGRADULATIONS!

You are this week's INO Newsletter Winner! Thanks for your love for our artists! Coming to you shortly is a copy of the latest albums from P.O.D., Decyfer Down, and Disciple! Also, don't hesitate to jump on www.freeccm.com for this month’s free downloads.

Thanks Again!!

Wait Patiently for the Lord

I used to think I was patient. Now I know I am not.

Somehow I knew that when I read that last passage in Psalm 27 that God would be stretching me.

I have been waiting for August 20th as a resolution of the past almost year of waiting. It seems as if I will have to wait for two more months. Making it a whole year of being "pregnant."

While yesterday I seemed upset, and I was, today I am finding peace in it. See, God is working behind the scenes, and I am trusting in HIM. I know it is going to work out.

In the meantime, I am building my marriage, my family, my heart for whatever it is God is putting on my plate. I am trusting in you God. I read in 1 Corinthians 13 today. The difference today was I am reading through The Message. After I read "But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love." I wrote in my journal this:

Trust steadily in God
Hope unswervingly
Love extravagantly

I want these things to be said of me, and how I lived my life. I am struggling with the steady and am kind of wobbly, but the greatest of these is Love... and I know I have that. God is helping me build up.

BTW, click on the title of this blog for a link to Phil Wickham's blog to download his new acoustic worship album, FREE. It was supposed to be an "Easter Egg" but the album is too awesome for me not to share it! Please check it out!

Mini-retreat summary

Yesterday I had a "date" with God. I put on my iPod, grabbed my Bible and a notebook and my camera and headed off to Herrick Lake. First I stopped for a lunch to eat. I hit the local deli and got a turkey sandwich, some Sun Chips and a Nantucket Nectar (pomegranate pear! yummy!) I brought that with me to the lake, found a spot to sit and ate.

Worship music pouring in my ear, my eyes started to work on connecting to and praising God. I watched people, and my eyes started to see photographs to take. I was only stalked by one large flying insect, which I swatted away quickly with a napkin and it was the end.

I turned to the Bible. What did God have to say to me? Psalm 27. He gave that to me as a gift. I wrote it out by hand, the whole thing. Then I decided to wander in His wonder. I started to walk and dove into the forest. I found a shelter that someone had made from fallen branches and bark. I wonder who was living in a shelter right off the golf course, if the forest preserve people had found it and if the group of kids in the woods would find it. I wanted to go in it, I wanted to take a picture of it. But no, it was sacred. I would not like it if someone did that to my house. I wanted to cry. I walked away. I didn't want the kids to find it.

I went into a clearing. I took off my sandals and walked and danced in the grass. I NEVER like the way grass feels on my feet, but felt compelled to yesterday, and I loved the way it felt. It felt the way I always wanted it to feel. Soft, comforting. The kids came out of the whole in the brush. A butterfly came by, I chased it for a photo. I only got one. I was in wonder of God.

I ended up on a bench, taking pictures of myself. I laid in the grass and took pictures of the grass. Hello! I laid in the grass! That was huge! And I loved it.

Every single word in this Psalm speaks to me, how does it speak to you?

Psalm 27

A psalm of David.

1 The Lord is my light and my salvation—
so why should I be afraid?
The Lord is my fortress, protecting me from danger,
so why should I tremble?
2 When evil people come to devour me,
when my enemies and foes attack me,
they will stumble and fall.
3 Though a mighty army surrounds me,
my heart will not be afraid.
Even if I am attacked,
I will remain confident.

4 The one thing I ask of the Lord—
the thing I seek most—
is to live in the house of the Lord all the days of my life,
delighting in the Lord’s perfections
and meditating in his Temple.
5 For he will conceal me there when troubles come;
he will hide me in his sanctuary.
He will place me out of reach on a high rock.
6 Then I will hold my head high
above my enemies who surround me.
At his sanctuary I will offer sacrifices with shouts of joy,
singing and praising the Lord with music.

7 Hear me as I pray, O Lord.
Be merciful and answer me!
8 My heart has heard you say, “Come and talk with me.”
And my heart responds, “Lord, I am coming.”
9 Do not turn your back on me.
Do not reject your servant in anger.
You have always been my helper.
Don’t leave me now; don’t abandon me,
O God of my salvation!
10 Even if my father and mother abandon me,
the Lord will hold me close.

11 Teach me how to live, O Lord.
Lead me along the right path,
for my enemies are waiting for me.
12 Do not let me fall into their hands.
For they accuse me of things I’ve never done;
with every breath they threaten me with violence.
13 Yet I am confident I will see the Lord’s goodness
while I am here in the land of the living.

14 Wait patiently for the Lord.
Be brave and courageous.
Yes, wait patiently for the Lord.

Totally Vulnerable... Monday Weigh IN

Last weigh in weight: 238.2
Today's weight: 240.5
Total weight lost: 37.1 lbs.
Weight to lose to mini-goal: 15.5

Yep, I knew it. I gained this week.
Too many trips to taco bell unrestrained. Last night I ate the Taco Salad which gains 2.2 lbs from the shell alone.

Good news is, I don't have plans for today! Finally, I can hit the gym! I haven't been for it seems like forever, its only been 2 weeks, but it has definitely but a rut into my mojo.
My energy is low. Not just because I have been getting up early, but also because I haven't been moving much. An object in motion tends to stay at motion, an object at rest tends to not get out of bed. The laws of physics, man, you can't deny it!

I was so close to the 40 lb mark, and well, I still am. Let's not get down about this, but remember what lessons we learned. Now, I have to get my butt off this chair and into the gym.

Pray for me not to be too sore tomorrow!

Update: missed the gym, but had a "lunch date" with hubby and a great phone conversation catching up with a friend. I love friends when we can talk God and talk deep.

I try to blog about Summit but...

I really think CCC has "it" and Dave Ferguson has "it." John Burke quoted Dave Ferguson during the unscripted session. This is when I realized that I am part of some radical movement. I know Dave Ferguson. He has emailed me personally! (It was an honor!) First, I have to explain my Dave Ferguson "obsession." Its not that Dave is some really popular and famous guy and that I know him, in as much as he has made it possible for me to be a part of this radical movement. No, I don't work for him. That is the best part. Dave is the face on our church, and I feel that CCC has a culture where I am a part of the church and I am responsible for the church whether I am on staff or not. So, my weird "groupie" following of D.Ferg is just my way of boasting in my church. I can boast in Dave, Jon and Tim. I can boast in all the members of our church! I love our staff! Dave just happens to be the public face of our church. I like Dave because he is down to earth, and really truly humbly has a heart for God. I like Dave because he cultivates the culture where I am that has given me the best part of my life. I cannot explain it. I love the way he talks about his daughter, sons and wife. His life is shared openly with the church, and gives me hope. Its not an obsession, its a fondness. I promise you Dave, I am not stalking you. No more than I am stalking Eric Bramlett.

You will all think I am crazy now, and that is just fine. But, let me assure you the reason I am crazy is because of Jesus. Jesus has changed my life. Opening my life up to God has made me a better person, and I actually enjoy life. Like Bill Hybels said today, God's plans for you are way better than what you could have made on your own. I am just praising God for what I have, where I am, and the blessings I have.

I haven't really made that stuff public, so maybe if you want to know, ask me, email me. I will gladly tell you about it. All I can say is this: when God saved us, saved our home from the fire, I realized a lot of stuff. One of them is that stuff is just stuff, and I want to use what I have been blessed with to help others. Another is that God is always with you. Always.

God loves you and wants you to give in to him. The life I am living is not one I picked, but God has picked for me and it is wonderful. I am so blessed. I love the family that He has picked for me, you know who you are.

Now, I must go. I have to organize my sock drawer.

Summit -Day One

Yes, I woke up at 7am (think I finally fell asleep around 2) and spent my quiet time with God and coffee and cereal. By 8:20 I was out the door and by 8:45 I was inside the building. I picked up my book and name tag and proceeded upstairs. I bought a bottle of water, I was thirsty. I found my "date" and settled in. We started with some good worship, although the crowd seemed sleepy. Stiff perhaps to worshiping via satellite. I enjoyed Bill Hybels, having never heard him speak before. Okay, I haven't heard any of these guys or gals before. Dave Ferguson totally distracted me by sitting in front of me for the first session. I was disappointed he didn't come back, but better off cuz I could pay attention. I watched over his shoulder as he blogged this post. I admit, I was jealous of laptop and saw many people with crackberries up and running.

I was personally touched by Gary Haugen, figuring if his tips help him to fight slavery and forced prostitution, they can certainly help me in my struggles and with my darkness. I was reassured that God is for justice.

I was most hyped for John Burke. His church is the "come as you are" church and I felt what he had to say most related to my ministry. (Celebrate the Journey- duh) It lit my fire, and I bought his book. I wrote in big letters THIS IS MY CALL on my notepad as he talked. I wanted to scream it. STILL DO!

Efram Smith followed him and preached it! I would love to sit in on a few of his sermons.

I couldn't wait to share what I learned with my husband, but it just sounds so much better coming out of the guys mouths that spoke.

The most interesting part is I spent a day doing "normal" work hours for most people. This is what it is like? I am tired, probably due to the 5 hours of sleep. I see other people when I walk the dog... its wierd. AND I can watch my show on regular time, not re-run or on the net.

Busy week...

Tomorrow I have to be somewhere at 8:30 am. It is not like me to want to be somewhere that early. I am going to my church. They are a satellite site for the Willow Creek Leadership Summit. Two days of hearing from talented, experienced leaders. This should be cool.

Yesterday I was busy, and stayed up late to watch Batman Begins on our new, no-name DVD player. The player was attempt number 3 at getting a working DVD player, and I ended up getting the cheap no-name one to work. The first one skipped chapters at random moments. The second one wouldn't read any disc. This one works. Fancy names mean nothing in the long run.

Tonight is the wake for my friend's wife who passed recently. I won't be able to make it, much like I didn't make it for the wake of my co-worker who passed recently. If I am not related, I cannot get off work. Yet life is for living, and I know my friend will be surrounded by so many people that it wont matter much. He knows I am praying for him and his kids.

I remember my mom's wake, and how it was for catching up with all the people who did not come to visit her when she was alive and dying. No offense, but its hilarious how some people can make it to the funeral, but won't come visit while they are still alive. Dude...

My belief is WE ARE A SOUL, WE HAVE A BODY. Not we are a body and have a soul. Too many folks have that backwards. My mom is in her new body, dancing with my friend's wife in her new body, and having a great time in the presence of the Lord. I am not sad for her. I am sad for my friend's family and their loss. One day soon, all too soon, we will be up there with them.

My body aches and yawns for the next one, the eternal, painless one that doesn't need sleep. Until that time, I have to do the best I can. Speaking of which, I have things to do! Got to go...

I don't want to, but here goes... Monday Weigh IN

Last weigh in weight: 239.7
Today's weight: 238.2
Total weight lost: 39.4 lbs.
Weight to lose to mini-goal: 13.2

How can this be?
Only God can be helping me, because I am not doing this on my own.

I was COMPLETELY surprised I lost.

Thanks God, I can't do this without you. Sooo many answered prayers this week.