Saturday, November 18, 2006

The one I wish I could take back


Today at work I encountered a very stubborn machine. The disk reader kept giving me errors. I would turn it off, unplug it, wait a minute, plug it back in, turn it back on, wait for it to reboot, same error. I tried this several times, with even a few minutes in between the unplugging and starting up again. Nope, the thing was stubborn. I needed to get my images onto the disk, and the disk reader just would not work. Fine, I will go to dinner, and try again later.

So later I was back, and inserted the disk. It seemed to be working. I started to load my images. Then I said a prayer "Lord, please help this stupid computer to work." Almost immediately I felt guilty. Of all the stupid selfish things, why did I have to waste my prayer energy on the stupid computer? I wish I could take it back. I wish I could have said "Lord help us find Osama Bin-Laden." Or, "Lord, please put an end to homelessness right now. So many children are suffering." Or "Lord, please help me to be less selfish." There is a gizillion things I could have prayed for more worthy than the stupid disk working in the stupid computer. Beep, it worked. Thanks Jesus.

Jesus was hungry and wanted something to eat. He noticed a fig tree, and went to go eat some figs. Jesus got upset because there were no figs on the tree, as it was too early in the season. He cursed the tree, saying "May no one ever eat your fruit again!" The next day when his disciples passed the tree, they noticed that it was withered from the roots up and died. "Then Jesus said to the disciples, 'Have faith in God. I tell you the truth, you can say to this mountain, "May you be lifted up and thrown into the sea," and it will happen. But you must really believe it will happen and have no doubt in your heart. I tell you, you can pray for anything , and if you believe that you've received it, it will be yours." (Mark 11:22-24 NLT (with paraphrase from 12-14 and 20-21))

So I wanted the disk and computer to work and it did. I really wish now that I had prayed with all of my heart for something worthy. Right now I will try. God, I have some people that I know and love that just really need to understand who you are. Show them your love and Glory. Let them know they can come to you. Let them know with you nothing is impossible. Let them know that only you can fix their broken hearts. Help me to show be a light for you Jesus. Help these people not be afraid of your light, your love. You are amazing and awesome God, and I would be so lost without you. Help these people to find their way back to you. In Jesus Name, Amen.

2 comments:

Janus Torrell said...

Nothing is too big or small for him, so don't feel like you "waste" prayers. He likes it when you share with him, even if its about computer stuff at work.

Shelley said...

Oh thank you Janus. Nothing is worse than feeling guilty about something you should not be guilty about. er, if my grammar is correct...