2006 Year in Review

I have never done this year in review before. I felt prompted to do so because I have had such a phenomenally weird year. I started out on FMLA leave from work to help take care of my mom. This actually began just before Christmas. In fact, we did not think she would make it through Christmas at all. It was a miracle she did. It was God's will.

In January, my dear friend Becky got baptized. This was an incredibly important day in my life for two reasons. First, my friend Becky was saved and changed forever. Secondly because I was called by God. God came over me and filled me with the holy spirit. He told me it was my turn, that he wanted me to be baptized, and to turn towards him, and live my life for him... to start going to church and to share the good news. In February, I bought my Bible that I carry with me today. I returned to work, and started attending Community Christian Church. I was baptized on March 19th.

Spring brought freshness into my life. Dave warmed up and turned towards God himself. We knew we wanted to be married, and made a commitment to each other at that time. It was hard to plan anything with Mom dying. We did grow a lot by taking "A life worth living" study of Phillipians at church. That is where we met our "Alpha" friends.

On June 30, Mom turned 55. She celebrated with a party and had everyone sign her sheets. I gave her new sheets with 600 thread count as a gift, she never got to use them. Her brain was so damaged from lack of oxygen and morphine combined that she became overly paranoid. One night I got a call that she had called 911 and was coming in to the hospital via ambulance. I was so mad at her, she wanted to die at home... In the long run, it ended up for the best. The doctors at the hospital were able to give her IV pain medication. They switched her from Morphine to Dilaudid and it was a miracle. The fog had lifted and the paranoia dissipated.

We were able to say good bye to Mom on July 6th. There was a party in her room with music and food delivered from Winfield House. That day I stayed at the hospital 28 hours. I finally went home after spending the night alone holding Mom. I took the best shower ever taken that day. I think I got an hour or so of sleep before the phone rang. Just enough to fuel my day. Mom passed in peace, she just stopped breathing. Megan called me. Mom waited for me to leave.

July was busy with her memorial and many other things. A friend took me up to Willow Creek in South Barrington for the very first time (see previous post.) I started blogging more in August.

September was full of excitement. Celebrate the Journey started, a support and recovery/small group program at CCC. I joined the Changes that Heal class. (The book is written by Dr. Henry Cloud, I highly recommend it.) I met several wonderful people and made some new friends there. Dad went on vacation with Yola and we had 3 dogs in the house for two weeks. That was chaos. Phoebe started peeing on stuff.

In October, we started volunteering at Brady Elementary reading books to kids. This is through Community 412 at CCC. (You can also read Kirsten's blog for more info.) Alpha started, and Dave volunteered to help, well I did too, but am hardly there due to work. Dave himself started a new job. Also, Dave and I got engaged officially.

In November, I got horribly sick right in time for Dad's wedding. Dave ended up in the ER after the service (it ended up to just be vertigo, thank God!) I also bought my dress, flowers and DJ and did marriage counseling with Dave. Thanksgiving was delicious, and the turkey put me out for an hour on the couch right after dinner.

December started off with beautiful snow and the Alpha retreat on the Holy Spirit. Of course, Christmas and all the assorted fun with that as well. Now I cannot seem to find any snow around.

I am happier, healthier, and all together a better person now than one year ago. I have to give all the credit to one guy: Jesus Christ. If I had not taken him into my heart and accepted him fully as my Lord and Savior, I would be dead. I mean that seriously. My depression had such a hold on me that I would not have been able to handle my mother's death and all that ensued following. If it were not for Jesus, I would be filled with darkness instead of light. Once I was blind, but now I can see. I once cried because of my father and Yola, now I am happy for him, and I see how good she is for him. If you saw me before it was black, and now I am white. All because of Jesus. I know what it is like to be dead, and to live again, I know the Resurrection power. I am a new person.

Here's to 2006, thanks for all the memories and growth. As for 2007, I cannot wait to see the joy in store for me and Dave as we begin our marriage. May God bless all of you this upcoming year.

Hangin in there

8 days to go! The countdown continues. Dave and I are hanging in there. That is me on top, trying to keep Dave from jumping (notice his eyes are open, he is on guard). We had another groomsman drop out, but have worked out the details. I have not yet updated our "The Knot" web page yet, so hang in there with us.

We got in touch with all our major vendors to let them know about the lineup change, and everything seems to be cool. In the meantime, we have to trust that God (the tree in the photo in my parable) is going to keep us safe and secure. The best part is that God doesn't break like real trees do, so no fear...

AAAAAGGGGGHHHHH the countdown begins...

10 days to go until the wedding! No wonder all my nails are gone! People ask me how I am doing. I guess I am ok, it hadn't really hit me yet, but I suppose I am feeling the crunch because my fingers are getting raw. I suppose I had better start finding other things to chew on. This baby has the right idea, don't start biting your nails, ever!

In the meantime, I have to harass people who have yet to respond via card or any manner. I paid the money to put the stamp on the envelope, how hard can it be? Oh, I am just as bad, I never send the thing either when I cannot go. I just don't want any surprises. Hi, I didn't know all 4 of you were coming, too bad we don't have enough table space!

I really should call my DJ. He is the only one I have not talked to since November. I need to tell him that Joe isn't gonna be a groomsman. I need to get the list of songs from my piano man to list in the program. I need to get my shoes. I need to shop for more decorations... I need white lights. Ok, well it sounds like I need to go to bed, but now I am too stressed out!

Merry Christmas to all

I thought for Christmas, I would share with you a picture of myself and Dave. It is probably one of the best gifts we can give, seeing as our budget is dry. It felt horrible to receive and not be able to give to family members and friends that we could not afford to put on our list this year. It felt horrible to only give so little to others when they spent so much money on us. I know for a fact that many people spent ten times on us what we spent on them.It did however feel good not to increase my credit card debt. (Not that I could, I am maxed out.) I hope that family members truly understand how broke we are. When Dave had to go to the hospital on the day of my dad's wedding, it did not help. Okay, it helped him, but not the bills. While we prepare to enter into our marriage (less than two weeks if you are counting) we face financial trials on top of everything else.

We need some prayers right now. I am truly grateful to God and what we have, and I am not asking for prayers for money. I am asking for God to be with us as we enter our marriage. I am asking for God to bless us in all our endeavors. I am asking for help with stress and managing money. I am confident that God will provide, and us two crazy lovebirds can fly off into the sunset together. I think I want everything to be just alright, and not tight so I cannot breathe.

I did have 3 great Christmases! As a bonus, I got to see my sister all three days! I got to spend time with the people I love. It was so hard to say goodbye. I wish they were in my life everyday. I guess I will just have to keep them in my heart.

Reindeer games

Do YOU know the secret words to Rudolph the Red nose Reindeer?

The other day, someone came in singing that song, and I chimed in with the extra words. The other person looked over at us like we were nuts. They didn't know that Rudolph had those lyrics.

So for those of you out of the loop, here (from my own recollection, not from any website) is the complete lyrics to Rudolph the Red nosed Reindeer.

Rudolph the red nosed reindeer (reindeer)
had a very shiny nose (like a light bulb)
and if you ever saw it (saw it)
you would even say it glows (like a light bulb)
all of the other reindeer (reindeer)
used to laugh and call him names (like Pinocchio)
they never let poor Rudolph (Rudolph)
join in any reindeer games (like Monopoly)
then one foggy Christmas eve,
Santa came to say (HO HO HO)
Rudolph with your nose so bright, wont you drive my sleigh tonight?
then all the reindeer loved him (loved him)
and they shouted out with glee (whoopee!)
Rudolph the red nosed reindeer (reindeer)
You'll go down in history (like George Washington)

In first grade, I went to a private school. We had the fifth graders come sing us a song for Christmas. Children are such bad influences on each other. This is the Rudolph song you won't forget.

Rudolph the rootin' tootin' cowboy
had a very shiny gun
and if you ever saw it
you would turn around and run
all of the other cowboys
used to laugh and call him names
they never let poor Rudolph
join in any cowboy games
then one foggy weekend eve
Sheriff came to say
Rudolph with your gun so bright
wont you shoot my wife tonight?
then all the cowboys loved him
and they shouted out whopee!
Rudolph the rootin' tootin' cowboy
you'll go down in history!

Church is good, mmmkay?

Today (meaning Sunday, I do realize it is past midnight and technically Monday, but I still have not finished Sunday yet so there!)I finally got to reconnect with God by going to church. We missed last week, and so I really needed to spend some time just praising and worshipping Him. The message really applied to me in several ways, and I walked away from today knowing God better than ever. Three highlights to share:

1. God/Jesus is the perfect example. Ever question how to handle a situation? How did God handle it? Sure, he is God, but there must be a reason. What would Jesus do is more than a cliche, it actually makes sense when you are lost. Try it, you just might be surprised.

2. You can cry and worship Him. I became so overwhelmed with His love for me, and his Holiness and glory that I cried. I took communion, and had a communion with Christ. I cried. Yes, that is why I ducked out of the gym today. It was a good cry, and then I came back to sing His praises.Unfortunately, most people frown on mucus in church.

3. He can read your mind. Troubled about something? Someway, somehow, He will let you know. I have been worried about a situation, and it was answered right there in the message today.Here is how to deal with X, God said indirectly through Tim. If the church had the video up, I would link it.

Of course, all of this is backed by my continued Bible reading and prayer/ meditation. It is great having a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. Today, I got to go over to his house for a little while...

My God is a living God, active and powerful, meaningful today more than ever. May you be able to feel just a sliver of love that I felt today from Him, and may it bring you peace.

Melty

I just totally dig the expression on this rabbit here. Pretty desperate rabbit to lug out the hair dryer, er hare dryer. It doesn't look like that here though. Snow has melted. Every once and a while you come upon a black lump of ick that used to be snow. The only snowmen out now are the inflatable kind. So is global warming finally rearing its ugly head? Are we doomed for a horrible ice storm or blizzard later this winter? Well, only God knows. Sometimes I get so wrapped up in what the weather is going to be like. Maybe its because mom used to be paranoid about bad weather. Maybe it is because it is the only thing out of my control. I keep thinking and wondering what the weather will be like for my wedding. I worry about the safety and travel of my guests and participants as well as what the day will look like. It is out of my control, and I realize that. So, why can't I let it go?

It is an important day. I know that my wedding happens only once in a lifetime. I cannot control the weather. I cannot control much of anything past what I have planned. What I want more than anything is something huge and overwhelming. Something I totally have very little control over. I want God to use this opportunity to show his love to people whose hearts are still hard. I want God to melt hearts at my wedding. Not for me and Dave, but for God. Is that ambitious? We are supposed to be lanterns, beacons of light for Him. I just pray that God is known at our wedding, and that our marriage brings his light to many others.

It won't happen overnight. Took nearly 30 years to melt my heart totally. Now I am all for him. Mold me God, shape me to your will. Let me be a light for you. If not a giant one, than just a tiny beam. I want the world to understand what it means to be resurrected. Jesus has brought me back from the dead, and he can do it for you. He can heal you. Let him. Jesus loves you.

Ok, cheese factor of 10 for this post. I apologize, but I am in love...

I want to know you, better than I do

My Bible reading has had me in John and Revelation. My cd player has Jennifer Knapp. The more I read the Bible, the more I know Jesus. The more I understand this trinity concept. The more I understand God's will. And the chorus for "Into You" run through my head.

She's a skin art junkie, all cute and petite
all her fat-cat schemes don't look around
don't you even blame me
it's a real bad thing to spill your shades for a blind man to find it
who can feel the whole earth move and don't even mind it

CHORUS:
I wanna know you
better than i do
relieve from myself, bring me into you
i wanna know you
better than i do
relieve me from myself, bring me into you

she's a wanna be hero
yeah, she try to be strong
but at the end of the hour
you find that the tower ain't standing so tall
it's a real hard thing
to show your weakness
if anyone can love you, i know my King does

-Chorus-

Your Holiness
Your Kingdom
Your Righteousness
My Freedom

she's an easy scare
she's a simple bluff
she's a timid girl
she's in love


That is me. I am in love. I want to give it up to Him so I can be free. I want to feel his love in me and through me and for me and for others. I can not use words to describe this. Read Jesus's prayer in John 17 then see if you get the feeling I do. One. Unity. Love. Not hate and disease and war.

My prayer is that this Christmas the world gets just a taste of the love of God. And it I pray that it makes the world thirsty for God. I pray that people turn to God to fulfill their thirst. I pray that all believers become stronger in their faith and learn to shine their light in the world. I pray that we all get to know you Father, better than we do.

Don't let it snow

Death of snowmen, my greatest wish. Not that I have anything against them, they are cute and all. I hate this frigid weather. My legs ache in the cold. My face and hands get extremely chapped. My gas and electric bills go up, because I need to supplement my furnace due to leaky windows. That and I hate the cold, have I mentioned? I loved Thanksgiving week. 50 degrees, sunny, and layers were totally unnecessary. This is the part of the year that I keep wishing would just zoom by. You might say here, but Shelley, why are you getting married in January then? Simple, I need yet another reason to look forward to winter. I need to have good things to go along with the bad. It would not be so bad if the wind didn't cut me down to the core, my lungs didn't protest with every breath, and my toes and fingers didn't have to defrost. I am really looking forward to Arizona, where I won't have to wear a scarf and 3 coats to stay warm.

One month to go... the final countdown

Yesterday, Dave and I got together with Troy McMahon. Troy is the pastor who will be officiating our wedding ceremony. We went over the ceremony details and Troy even had Dave practice repeating the vows after him. I got "mushy," as Troy called it, hearing Dave speak those words. This is the part where I thank God for waterproof mascara. After all, the photos happen after the ceremony. We also realized we need more music that I thought, and promptly notified our keyboard player. I also called Becky who will be doing a reading from the Bible for us. I kind of decided on this pretty much last minute, which is why I only asked her yesterday. Megan will also be singing a song, which she wrote. I am super excited about that.

I guess the way I will try not to be too "mushy" at my wedding is by thinking of Troy as Buzz Lightyear, Stretch Armstrong, a teddy bear, or He-Man thanks to his wife Janet and her blog entry about Troy being a toy. That is much better than picturing my guests in their underwear.

Now comes the part where all the details come out. The last 30 days of planning are here. Where does this go, who sits where, which song plays when. Have the dresses come in? Will they fit? Will all the groomsmen get tuxes, and in time? Will my dress fit? Will I be able to get everything done in time? Will I have enough money for Christmas and the last wedding details? Will I forget something?

The important part is that Dave and I both show up, oh and Troy. We are making vows before God, before friends and family, to love, honor and cherish each other. Yet I know we only do this once, and we want to do it right. We have the licence, Troy could have made it official yesterday! But we are gonna do something right for once in our lives. I know we are blessed by God, and we want nothing more than to be able to bless others with our wedding, our love, our faith.

Thank you to Troy for being such an important part of our lives.

Licence to wed

Yesterday I had the day off. Dave and I took a trek to the county government complex. After finding the right building, we were sworn to tell the truth, and handed over thirty bucks. We had to say who we were, and that we were not blood related. We also had to answer who our parents are, where they were born and where they now live. I got to use the word deceased. (yeah) With that, Dave and I were given a licence to wed. Starting today, and until January 29th, we can get married in DuPage County. Of course we will wait until the 7th of January, but how exciting is that!?! This picture is Dave with Abby, our Jack Russell, our daughter. Can you see a little bit of why I love him in this photo? I can.

Holiday reflections

Kodak makes a pretty neat camera. It is very user friendly. So much so that I did not need to read the manual to read it. The software is the same. I was able to take this picture of Megan and Rugby and turn it into a cartoon. I miss my sister. She seems to be keeping herself pretty busy in Kenosha. I seem to be keeping myself pretty busy here. It's amazing how the holidays make us think of those we miss. Megan misses Rugby, I am very sure.

Thanksgiving came and went without many tears on my part. Yesterday at work I had a flashback of Mom. That was tough, remembering her asking if this was the end, if it was time to say goodbye. I cannot forget the look in her eyes. Then I remember how she isn't here, how she won't be here; not for Christmas, not for my wedding, not ever. That is when I miss my family the most. They remind me of good, living times with Mom. They keep going, keep loving, keep living, keep Mom in their hearts. That is what Mom would want. She wants us to be happy, to live our lives to the max. To party hearty, and dance all night long. So while I am gonna miss Mom at my wedding, I want to throw a party to make her proud. I am gonna do it surrounded by everyone that I love (that can make it anyway) and dance all night long. Ok, Dave, we will leave early. If I learned one thing from my mom, its not to follow her example with everything she did. I promise we won't be the last ones at the reception.

Turkey Photograph Pallooza

Thought you would enjoy some highlights from my Thanksgiving Friday and Saturday. Dave hides behind Abby, my sister squishing Rugby, Ashley and Becky display their skills in tongue display. Guess who got a new camera? Dave and I bought this camera as a wedding gift to each other. We would like to take some pictures of the wedding and prep stuff as well as the honeymoon vacation in Sedona, Arizona.

Interestingly enough, we bought the camera right after our appointment with our wedding photographer. The last major booking of the ordeal. Yeah! Also I heard that invitations have started arriving in the mail. Phew! I guess we can start researching honeymoon activities and restaurants and maps etc. Ok, so enjoy pictures of some of my wedding party at their ?best? and enjoy the rest of the weekend!

Prepping the turkey

Getting ready for Thanksgiving usually means shopping for a turkey or a pie or side dish items. Sometimes it means making travel arrangements. Most of the time it means mentally preparing ourselves to see family that we don't always get to see. Sometimes its a good thing, sometimes its not, but family can elicit emotions most of us put away for the rest of the year.

What makes it so stressful? The past hurts we endured. The fact that we have grown up and changed and family remembers us the way we were not the way we are. Maybe its because we are around a trigger, things that set us off before that disappeared when we went off on our own. Some might say it is the mix of a large dinner, alcohol and dysfunction.

Perhaps that is why people in this day and age like the computer. We can be social without actually being with people. I sit here in my pajamas telling you about life, without having to take a shower, put on make up, or even be nice and smile. If we aren't with people, we aren't dealing with people and we can live in our own little happy bubble and not deal with things.

That is where we can start to be the turkey at Thanksgiving. This holiday is about family that you love and cherish. You get together to celebrate life, the bounty which God has provided for you. The thing to focus on is not where you were, but where you are. Forget the past, or remember it only as a benchmark. Concentrate on the good things that you have. The reason family is important is that if you don't have anything but the clothes on your back, you still have family. Now, if your family is not that way, make your own family. Family is not always about blood. To me, family is about love.

Where can I find a family that will love me irregardless of my faults and or my success? Ideally, you can find it in the Body of Christ. That's right, you can find it in church. But not the judgemental, holier than thou church. You need to find a church, a group of Christ-followers. Church seem big? Get into a small group. These people will love and support you because you are brothers and sisters in Christ. I found some awesome people where I go. While we may not be together tomorrow in person, I know we will all be praying for each other.

I am not saying I hate my family. In fact, I am very blessed to have a loving family that accepts me for who I am. I do know that I will still be dealing with hurt and pain about things going on in our lives, but I won't be the turkey. I will remember that I cannot be responsible for anyone else's feelings but my own. I will just smother everyone in love, and eat lots of stuffing.

Happy Thanksgiving to you all. May it be a warm, fuzzy holiday with lots of good leftovers. May you be blessed by those around you, and a blessing to them as well. May you find lots of things to be thankful for, and try not to worry about the rest.

Oh yeah, and Mom may not be there this year in person, but she will be in spirit. Ok, wait, technically she will be there in person because my aunt has her ashes, but that is just my morbid sense of humor.

My dad gets his own webpage

I guess everyone is truly turning high tech. My dad just sent me a link for his web page. On his web page, you can view his wedding photos, and listen to some music. The best part is, the one picture I am in, you can't even make me out! Of course I chose a very non-descript picture to share publicly. Email me if you are interested in the link.
In other news, OJ did it, he finally admits it in his new book. You don't believe me? Check it out. Kudos to Sherry for cluing me in.

The one I wish I could take back

Today at work I encountered a very stubborn machine. The disk reader kept giving me errors. I would turn it off, unplug it, wait a minute, plug it back in, turn it back on, wait for it to reboot, same error. I tried this several times, with even a few minutes in between the unplugging and starting up again. Nope, the thing was stubborn. I needed to get my images onto the disk, and the disk reader just would not work. Fine, I will go to dinner, and try again later.

So later I was back, and inserted the disk. It seemed to be working. I started to load my images. Then I said a prayer "Lord, please help this stupid computer to work." Almost immediately I felt guilty. Of all the stupid selfish things, why did I have to waste my prayer energy on the stupid computer? I wish I could take it back. I wish I could have said "Lord help us find Osama Bin-Laden." Or, "Lord, please put an end to homelessness right now. So many children are suffering." Or "Lord, please help me to be less selfish." There is a gizillion things I could have prayed for more worthy than the stupid disk working in the stupid computer. Beep, it worked. Thanks Jesus.

Jesus was hungry and wanted something to eat. He noticed a fig tree, and went to go eat some figs. Jesus got upset because there were no figs on the tree, as it was too early in the season. He cursed the tree, saying "May no one ever eat your fruit again!" The next day when his disciples passed the tree, they noticed that it was withered from the roots up and died. "Then Jesus said to the disciples, 'Have faith in God. I tell you the truth, you can say to this mountain, "May you be lifted up and thrown into the sea," and it will happen. But you must really believe it will happen and have no doubt in your heart. I tell you, you can pray for anything , and if you believe that you've received it, it will be yours." (Mark 11:22-24 NLT (with paraphrase from 12-14 and 20-21))

So I wanted the disk and computer to work and it did. I really wish now that I had prayed with all of my heart for something worthy. Right now I will try. God, I have some people that I know and love that just really need to understand who you are. Show them your love and Glory. Let them know they can come to you. Let them know with you nothing is impossible. Let them know that only you can fix their broken hearts. Help me to show be a light for you Jesus. Help these people not be afraid of your light, your love. You are amazing and awesome God, and I would be so lost without you. Help these people to find their way back to you. In Jesus Name, Amen.

Jordan almonds are not for me

My fitting took all of 15 minutes. The lady was really nice, and my bustle will look so good when done. For those of you who know what I am talking about, it will be a french bustle. For those of you who don't, you will just have to wait and see. I then got a chance to do a little shopping for stuff. I ended up not buying much, or getting any centerpiece ideas. I can't believe how expensive unity candle stuff costs. Its just some wax! When I got home, I asked Dave and he said he didn't want the candle. Phew! I would rather spend that 40+ bucks on flowers. The candles being like 20+ and the holder for the candles being like 20+, they sure know how to put newlyweds in debt. All the favors seem so cheap, and who likes stale jordan almonds anyway? I don't know what we are going to do, but I guarantee you there will not be any stale jordan almonds.

Speaking of flowers, I have an appointment soon, better get going. Wish me luck!

Back to work, cough cough

Well, I made it back to work today. I practically lost a lung in the car on the way in. I decided that my fridge was desperately empty, so I went to the grocery store before work. That made me "work" before work. I was feeling fine when I woke up, but what I forget is as soon as I do something active my lungs cannot handle it. My first patient came and I couldn't even make it through the exam without coughing. Thank God it was a relatively slow night, and my co-workers helped me out in the OR. I could not make it some days without their compassion. Thanks to all my compassionate co-workers, I love you guys.

I love my job, I love what I do. The thing that gets me sometimes is that sometimes some people do not want anyone else to have a good night. Do you know those type of people who are miserable, so they want the rest of the world to be miserable with them? Sometimes I have to deal with people like that. Not everyday, but you would think that people would want work to be a pleasant environment... Oh, I give up. Some people never change. It is not my job to change them, only they and God can do that. I just need to learn how to deal with my frustrated emotions.

Cough, cough.

Busy day tomorrow... I have my first fitting with the seamstress for my wedding dress. Then, an appointment with the counselor for our pre-marital counseling. After that, I will head off to Alpha for dinner and a movie. Dave is going to the doctor tomorrow. I think he caught my cold, plus he still has vertigo. If he is not up for Alpha, I might not go and just spend the night resting, because I probably need it too.

Waiting not to be sick

Well, I have gotten a couple good responses so far. I really like getting responses, so please do not hesitate.

Today is a holiday. No mail. I am still waiting for the response cards and reception cards to arrive in the mail. I hate waiting. I do however like the John Mayer song, and what my church did with it. Check it out:



I also hate being sick. I do not like that my co-workers have to suffer due to my abscence. I do not like my choice of activities: view tv, sit on the computer surfing the web, sleep, talk on the phone (my voice is so screwed up). I cannot clean the house (one should never clean while full of germs). Also, not to mention that drinking plenty of fluids means plenty of trips to the bathroom.

Sorry I am not up to par today. I think its time for a nap. Do enjoy the video though, please.

Welcome to my new blog!

Welcome to the Wiener's Circle! Due to Yahoo 360 not letting strangers in, I have decided to share my life here on blogger. So welcome to all who tried to read about me before but could not. You will notice all of my old 360 blog entries titled by date published, and you can also look them up under archives. I have links to blogs that I read often and links to websites that I love on the right side of the page. If I have you listed and you want off, please email me at icanseerightthroughyou@yahoo.com. I am super excited, because anyone can comment now also. Feel free to drop me a comment!

So you are probably super curious as to how my dad's wedding went yesterday. Well, first let me preface things by stating how miserable I am. I have a horrible head cold, my nose was/is constantly running. My cousin Ross and his wife and kids came (Cindy is such a good mom!) and so did my uncle John. That is the list of all the people that I know besides the ones I came with. Everyone else was from Dad's church or his friends that I don't know. (I came with Dave, my sister Megan and my practically sister Becky.) Dad's church was nicely decorated for the fall, and the ceremony was very beautiful. It was so nice to see Dad so happy, yet hard. Yola has yet to look me in the eye. It was emotional, hearing Dad say vows to Yola that he struggled with so much with Mom. How come it was so hard for them? How come we had to suffer because of it? Lots of different emotions were dealt with. It was not easy.

I had to warm up the car while Dad said goodbye to Becky and the others, we did not stay for cake and punch. I was feeling horrible. My head would not stop being icky. Dave felt even worse. On the drive home, he had me pull over. Dave got hit with a sudden bout of vertigo in the church, and now he was nauseated. After resting at home, we decided that he was not getting any better, and we should go to the doctor. The walk-in clinic was closed, so I drove to the hospital. Luckily it was not very busy. Dave got tests, and medicine that helped him feel much better. We missed the reception. At the hospital, I had to find Candy and tell her that I was right, I did end up in the hospital after all. (I work there, remember? I told Candy that I would probably end up at the hospital anyways, even though it was my weekend off because things always work out that way for me.)

Today, we both still feel crappy. So we missed an appointment with the photographer, but rescheduled for next Friday. Oh, and we also have the extra dogs for the weekend to help Dad out. They go home Monday. Hopefully Dave will feel better by then so he can work, and well also its not fun to be sick. And me, I hope I feel better too. If I don't show up to work Monday, don't be surprised.

Tuesday, November 7, 2007

My aunt and I find my wedding dress

Well, I went off to a town my aunt and I call lizzle, which is actually Lisle (pronounced lyle) to shop for a wedding dress. We found one. It appears it was there waiting for me. Next wednesday I go in to meet the seamstress to do a fitting (alterations will cost half of what the dress costs).

Afterwards, I bought myself a foundational undergarment and we hit the outlet store. I found two pairs of jeans at quite the steal, and a couple tops. One jean is soooo comfy, but is has the letter N embroidered on the pocket. My question is, who embroiders their jeans? I suppose if your sister kept borrowing stuff without asking, maybe. So, I decided that N stands for "no".

No, I did not vote today. Mostly because I wanted to show politicians how much I don't care for their ads and phone calls. Also because it is hard for me to choose between tweedle-dum and tweedle-dee. Really, they both are bad choices, I do not want to elect either of them.

Rudy Guiliani, please don't ever call me at 9:30 am again!

Sunday, November 5, 2006

Dad's gonna get hitched... again.

How can I maintain any semblence of peace over this? Dad's wedding is Saturday! Simple, by the GRACE OF GOD.

God doesn't ask us to judge others, he asks us to love others, and leave the judging up to Him. That seems really hard sometimes, but I have to have faith in this, God has always been faithful so far. He is the One who will never let me down. I have a perfect Father in God, I can just love my imperfect, human father just the way he is.

It took me a while to get to this, but my sister and I had a great talk, and once again she reminded me how she pulled me out of the sea of loneliness, so we can be a family together again. I will never again be alone here on earth, and I also have a place secured in Heaven. Pretty neat if you ask me.

God gave me a new life, he forgave me my sins. How can I not forgive others who have hurt me in the past? I am on a quest to know Him more and more each day. Every time He reveals a bit of Himself to me I am totally amazed. Everytime I follow His heart and do His will, my soul is afire. I can do nothing but praise Him for the past year of growth in my life, and I am confident that He is my Savior, my Dragon-slayer. Through Jesus, nothing is impossible.

So, in a wierd way, I am looking forward to a celebration of His love in my father's new marraige. I pray that all intentions are good, and hearts won't be broken... but it is not in my hands anymore. Thank you Christ.

Friday, November 3, 2006

My new sister-in-law-to-be has a thing for bees

If any of you know me, you know my phobia. Bees. Wasps, yellow and black buzzing things that sting, whatever you call them. I hate bees. Kelly, Dave's sister, loves bees. She bought her dog this costume. Of course, she had to put it on to show to me when I was out on Wednesday. On the dog, not herself. This picture isn't Kel's dog, but you get the idea. Kelly has two seperate bee tatoos. That is how much she loves bees.

Other than that, we get along great. I have to admit, I dressed up as a spelling bee one year for halloween. (Bee costume plus dictionary equals... get it now?) Anyway we really hit it off, I tried on gowns for the wedding, she tried to bust me, but I don't play into that. Then we went out for pizza. Finally someone I can order a pizza with! We both had salads and pizza, then talked about a lot of stuff, and even woman stuff. We even both busted on Dave for picking bow ties, but we set him straight. Its an ascot, not a regular tie... who leaves fashion to straight guys anyway?

I came home feeling good. I am not just getting a husband, but a whole family. A new mom, dad, brother, and something I always wanted... an older sister. Don't worry Dave, we are not in on a mega conspiracy against you. We just bonded, and that should make you feel good. I feel great being loved by his family, and not just him. Thank you, thank you Dave for giving me love, as well as another family I can settle into. Bees and all.

Monday, October 30, 2006

Details work themselves out

Well, this weekend was busy. Dave and I did lots and lots of wedding stuff. We decided we want the chapel, booked a hall, and registered at two stores. Kohl's and Target. I also attended a Bridal Show and got to see more stuff NOT to spend my money on. No limo, no bathroom attendants at the Legion Hall... sorry. Yes, the reception will be at the Legion Hall. Interested in details? Here is our Knot webpage. I update it as often as I know stuff. Now I have to go get a dress. Wish me luck. Dave's sis and I go on Wednesday!

Friday, October 27, 2006

Sometimes I feel so small

I had so many crazy things happen yesterday, including finding out that mom did not have her autopsy like we asked. Horrible, huh? Too bad she's creamated!

This is when I feel so small, helpless, and totally out of control, like the kitten in the picture. This is when I have to trust that God, the german shepard, is just loving me and cleaning me, not eating me.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

The craziest costume ever

Some people truly enjoy dressing up their dogs. Take this poor pup who ends up looking eerily like an oompa loompa. I got this from a halloween costume contest email forward. Poor puppy.

I have been busy doing... well not much. It feels like all I get done is work and sleep and work and my house is a mess. I swear Abby and Phoebe are in a conspiracy to grow their own puppies and kittens from their sheddings. I found a small cat just behind the corner of my dresser this afternoon.

Actually, I have made plans to do stuff like dress shop for the wedding. Dave and I are anxiously awaiting a call from Carter to see if Montgomery is available. The theme at our house is "Get Carter!" Of course campus pastors are quite busy, and we are hoping to hear from him tommorow. I would like to order invitations soon. I suppose I could go buy the stamps....

Well, in the meantime, whittle out my invitation list. Note to people not sure they are coming to my wedding: stay on my good side these next few weeks.

Believe it or not, I look forward the most to buying and using a fancy schmancy pen to write addresses on envelopes with. Should I get blue or black ink?

Dad actually wrote me a check today, so I guess that means that his name goes on the invitation? What suprised me the most is that he thought I was going to ask for more money than I did. I really think I can pull this off with the budget I set, I pray that I can.

Did you see how expensive wedding dresses are? Good thing catering comes at cost (Thanks Kell!) and mom is making the cake (thanks Linda!) and Rob has a place in Sedona, his parents want to take us there for our honeymoon (thanks Dave, Linda, Rob!) Too bad I don't know a dressmaker... or a florist... or a videographer...

I think I will end up wearing tennis shoes to my wedding. If my dress is long enough, no one will see it. I have very bad feet, and heels make them even worse.

Maybe the craziest costume ever is a wedding dress with tennis shoes, not a dog as an oompa loompa!

Friday, October 20, 2006

In less than three months...

I am so in love. I love Dave more today than yesterday, and I cannot wait to feel how much I love him tommorow. I really can't wait to see how I feel on January 7th. Yes, we picked a date!

Ok that leaves me with... no time! Good, just the way I want it! Dave and I want to be married. We are ready. We already feel like husband and wife, we just want to make it official and have a party.

Dave's sister is a caterer, his mom is on the cake. We are hoping to secure our church (well, Montgomery campus) so I hope it is available.

tee...hee... I feel like a little girl, all aburst with excitement.

Now, I have to go spend my time looking for wedding stuff online.

follow up, no go at Montgomery

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

An announcement...

I thought that 3 dogs would keep me busy. I was wrong. No, I don't have a gazillion dogs, still just the one (and the cat that sometimes thinks she is a dog.)

On top of being busy with work, I actually have been busy with friends, and family, and stuff. Dave got a new car, a new job, and proposed to me this week. He was pretty busy too.

With his new job, we are going to try to adjust our schedule to be more day friendly, so dont expect me to stay up so late anymore!

So yes, we are engaged. The date is set for xx, pending our meeting with the pastor tommorow. Dave will get the rock once he has saved up, seeing as he just started his new job... I am starting a pool, and betting around Christmas or my birthday. But, it will be a suprise. I am excited, as is Dave. We already have the bridal party picked out, so if you haven't heard from us yet, sorry!

Hope all is good with all of you. I also got some bad news this weekend. It seems as if YOLA has tricked my dad into agreeing to marry her. They plan on marrying next month so that she can stay in the country. Lets hope she doesnt use him and steal all his money and stuff and leave him.

But back to the good stuff...
Our friend Mandy took Dave and me out to see a movie Saturday night after church. We saw THE DEPARTED and if you have any itching to see it, go... you will not be dissapointed. Finally a good 2 1/2 hour movie that doesn't feel like 4 hours. A performance by Jack Nicholson you cannot miss. Marky Mark Whalberg proves yet again that he can act. Matt Damon proves he hasn't forgotten his south Boston accent, and can act. Leonardo DiCaprio redeems himself after the whole Titanic fiasco. Martin Sheen, Alec Baldwin, and if that doesn't convince you the movie is directed by Martin Scorcese. Best movie I have seen in a long time. Be prepared for violence. In the meantime, I have to try not to say the F word so much, and I was doing so well and this movie brought it back.

Oh yeah, and I'm engaged! Sorry if the photo is misleading... I am not pregnant, just wanted to emphasize how busy I felt this week.

Sunday, October 15, 2006

I've been neglecting the computer

Just wanted to let you know that it has been a busy week.

Sunday, October 8, 2006

Here's to new friendships, new begginings

Yesterday, Dave and I helped a friend move in to her new apartment.

Have you ever seen someone and felt a pull to them right away? That is how I felt the first second I saw Mandy, even before I met her. Somehow, I was given the courage to open my heart to her when she needed it. Okay, that was God. Mandy needed some things, long story short, and I had them. Both of us are now enjoying having comforts of home. My new stuff that Mom gave me for Christmas was just sitting in a box, not anymore. Now I eat off my Fiestaware plates, and Mandy has my old ones for now. I am so glad that I didn't just toss that stuff in the garbage like so many people do.

God has shown me my heart for ministry in all of this, and it feels really really good. I cannot wait to get involved more and do more things like this. It was Mom's too. She was homeless for a while. She almost got divorced and lived on her own wits. I almost had to do the same. I was saved by her good grace, and the grace of God. I want to do that for others. I want to help people who feel hopeless find hope. It is great that Mandy came and reached out to the Body of Christ for help, because I got to see it in action. God is so awesome right now, I cannot wait to sing His praises!

Everything seems to be starting new, and its fall!?!?! Dave is blossoming in Christ! I feel like God is doing amazing work in my life. I am able to go on because of Him. Thank you Jesus!

Too much to write here, and I have got to get ready for church! TTFN!

Thursday, October 5, 2006

Strrrrrreeeettttcchhhhhh!!!

Recently I have been attacked by my shoulder. My shoulder has taken me hostage. Yesterday I woke up and could not turn my head to the right, and had a lot of pain in my shoulder and upperback. Actually, if I remember properly it started the night before, but my memory is dulled by pain medicine. Part of the joy of fibromyalgia. Actually I prefer to call my problem "Shelley-itis" because whatever is going on seems to be something I cannot find in books (or on google.) I think this problem stemmed from me picking up knitting again. Repetative motion is not my friend. I thought I was getting better, but man I clamped up and was spazzing and trying to do anything hurt. I had Dave drive. After dinner I ended up falling asleep. I woke up better, not 100 percent, but better. I love driving around town at 2:30 am doing errands. In the meantime, I will try not to push myself, and stretch, stretch ,stretch.

Happy Birthday Becky (October 2) and Ashley (October 6) this week! My homegirls Bob and Silent Jay.

Saturday, September 30, 2006

This much, at least, I've figured out. I know this much is true.

"I am not a smart man, particularly, but one day, at long last, I stumbled from the dark woods of my own, and my family's, and my country's past, holding in my hands these truths: that love grows from the rich loam of forgiveness; that mongrels make good dogs; that the evidence of God exists in the roundness of things.
This much, at least, I've figured out. I know this much is true."

Wally Lamb has this terrific book "I know this much is true."

I finished reading it the other day, and just knew I had to blog on it. First of all, the thing that drew me to it was the fact that it was 897 pages long. I was in the library, and it called to me. Something on the back read "non-stop reading" so I took it home. The back cover did not lie. I was drawn into the life of Dominick. I related so much to him, not on an equal level, but the writing was such that I could have been him. I have to defend myself, I am not an Oprah fan, but she reccomends this book, its part of her book club. I have on occasion been lead astray by Oprah, but not this time. Not that Oprah influenced the picking out of the book, I only saw the giant "O" when I was checking out at the library.

When I was going through Mom's stuff, I ran into a sheet of paper that is probably one of the best things ever. Its written on a square note page from some bank that probably doesn't exist anymore.

1Peter 1:18 God paid a ransom to save you from the empty life you inherited from your ancestors... HE DID THIS FOR YOU!

Every day, God proves how big He is... bigger than I can conceive. He gives me the strength to overcome the empty life I inherited, and walk into the loving arms of the Unchanging One... the One that does not break promises, the One that gives me GRACE and TRUTH to get me through this life into eternity with HIM. Into the loving arms of Christ.

This much, at least, I've figured out. I know this much is true.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Let sleeping polor bears lie...

Found this photo hilarious! Had to share.

Day off, got the oil changed (in my car, still need to change the oil in my squeeky shoulder) ate a quick dinner with dad and YOLA and Dave. Yola cooked, she probably didn't mean to make Dave ill, but she did. See, Dave is allergic to mushrooms, and he started eating his stuffed piece of meat before he saw them. He stopped, but it was too late and we had to stop at Walgreens for Benadryl. Were headed elsewhere than home. It was good, but I was not sure exactly what type of meat it was. It was pan fried and breaded and had lots of flavors, so I was able to eat it. Quite the opposite with Dave. And he was so polite, could not even tell her that he couldn't eat it.
They just got back from this great trip parts of the western US I never got to see, nor probably ever will. Its also the trip mom wanted him to take her on. Not that it was possible for him to do it, but dammit man, show some respect.

On a good note, finally got to watch Grey's and ER and Earl and Desperate Housewives. Did she really shoot her husband? I can't believe Abby had to have a hysterectomy, although I saw it coming since the season finale last time. I just love Abby so much. And I could lay on the floor next to Izzy all night... Crying is good, helps me in the mourning process. I have to feel to heal, I truly feel that way.

Monday, September 25, 2006

Last of the Dogsitters

Pictured above is Shadow, the Keishound, and Tottie, the Alaskan Eskimo. Oh yeah, my aunt and cousin too, but they aren't the point.

Last night I spent the night dogsitting for them. That's right, with 3 dogs at my house, I left and went to care for 2 more. My aunt and family headed off to a wedding in Michigan (they are home safely) thus needing someone to care for their 2 fuzzy pups. That's where I come in. I am the last option. I am the only option. I am the last of the dogsitters.

How many people do you know would leave their own doggie and bed to go to some other doggies and bed? Well I did. Shadow and I go way back, to when I was struggling with my life so much, and it was a treat to dogsit for him and his older, now passed buddy Woody. I got to have a house all to myself, a free frozen pizza and the best dogs ever. Tottie is the world's cutest dog, and don't you dare say otherwise to her, she won't have it. You will definitely change your mind after rubbing the heart shaped spot on her belly.

So, it was hectic in that I had to spend the night in a different bed, and hurry up, getting to church a few minutes late, again. I had only a few minutes to say goodbye to Daisy and Rugby today as well. Dad came home and picked them up while I was at work.

It is kinda sad, but after a dog overload, I am happy to hang up my dogsitter hat and just cuddle with my two OWN muffins, Abby and Phoebe. Dave also mentions that he appreciates the lack of spagetti noodles worth of leashes and the room to move his legs on the bed once again.

On that note, I am going to give my own pets some attention.

And Robin, I think you look nice in this picture, you are not a beet, I love you.

Saturday, September 23, 2006

Continued Adventures

Dad sends me photos from his trip. Continued glimpses into his vacation.

I asked him in a text message when he was returning, he just said he was leaving soon. Not many details, I suppose he is waiting until his return to fill me in on what all of his pictures are, and what he liked.

Mom used to tell me what was going on in her life. You know, what town she went to with whom, what restaurant they ate at and if they had anything good. I got highlights, and even some details. She would even let me know if they went somewhere else and what happened. With Dad, its text messages saying "XXX OOO DAD" No conversations, no complete sentences with any real info.

In the Bible, even Paul would say hi from certain people and talk about important stuff to whomever he was writing. I guess what I am trying to say is that Dad is not a good communicator.

When we he come back? Today? Sunday? Monday? The world may never know... until he shows up!

Friday, September 22, 2006

A Map of the World

Thanks to my public library, I have an outstanding amount of resources at my fingertips. I just checked out three paperback novels and finished the first one in two days. A Map of the World by Jane Hamilton. I had read her The Book of Ruth a few years ago and remembered how much I enjoyed it.

The book deals with the death of a child, marraige, friendship, false accusations, prison, and Racine.

Sometimes I find a book makes me feel better, that my life could always be worse... or make a best seller one day.

Monday, September 18, 2006

Dad treks across the US

Thought that you all would get a kick out of my dad on vacation. Here he is at Little Big Horn in Montana. Site of Custer's Last Stand. He is posing in his biking gear near the marker for where a Native American warrior fell. As you can tell, he is still the dork he always was. Dad and YOLA biked a 5 mile course, thus the biking gear.

I remember when my family went out there years ago. It was one of the best trips I ever took. Even though all you see is a field, my imagination was spiked. Still I carry this torch inside me for history (despite failing as a history major.) Dave and I toured many Civil War battlegrouds last October. (My personal favorite being Cold Harbor- you can feel the loss of life still in the earth, overwhelming and spectacular all at once. I cried, of course.)

The more I found out about Custer, the more I felt sorry for him. He did some great things in the Civil War, but then he had to go out west and take care of the injun problem. Almost wished that he could have died as a hero of the Civil War, instead of the killer of indians.

I may not see the Big Picture about all this. I know God has plans that exceed even our greatest expectations. It still hurts. I know He is strongest in my weakness, so I wipe away the tears.

On a brighter note, New Fall Season on TV kicks off tommorow!Here is what I am taping, for all of your inquiring minds!

Tuesday- House on Fox and Boston Legal on ABC

Wednesday- Justice on Fox (new show, checkin it out)

Thursday- My Name is Earl on NBC, Grey's Anatomy on ABC, ER on NBC

Sunday- Desperate Housewives on ABC followed by Brothers and Sisters, a new show I am not sure if I will like but its easy enough to tape.

Have a great week!

follow up... Brothers and Sisters was a nap... haven't been taping Boston Legal

DOH!

I forgot to hit a little button on my remote, and will not be taping my shows tonight! So sad!

Tuesday September 19, 2006

Monday, September 18, 2006

Feeling useless?

The next time you feel like GOD can't use you, just remember...

Noah was a drunk Abraham was too old Isaac was a daydreamer Jacob was a liar Leah was ugly Joseph was abused Moses had a stuttering problem Gideon was afraid Samson had long hair and was a womanizer Rahab was a prostitute Jeremiah and Timothy were too young David had an affair and was a murderer Elijah was suicidal Isaiah preached naked Jonah ran from God Naomi was a widow Job went bankrupt Peter denied Christ The Disciples fell asleep while praying Martha worried about everything Mary Magdalene was possessed by 8 demons The Samaritan woman was divorced, more than once Zaccheus was too small Paul was too religious Timothy had an ulcer..AND Lazarus was dead!

Sunday, September 17, 2006

My sister came to visit! Yeah!

Today was quite a day. Emotional to say the least. Megan called and woke me up at like 11am. Now if you know me, that is like the earliest I get up. So, being glad that I took a shower last night, I agreed to meet them for brunch ASAP. Megan, my cousin Ashley, and my Aunt Robin all arrived at Butterfield's Restaurant much later than me. (Well it felt like it when I just got up and started drinking coffee only after arriving at the restaurant.)

Breakfast was had by all. It was terrific, and I highly reccomend the joint. If you like smooties, you haven't lived until you have had one from Butterfield's. Mom used to have a smootie and bowl of soup for a meal. Favorite location. Anyways...

After our meal, we went to do something I could not do alone. Go through a lot of Mom's stuff. Who wants what, what is this, what can we move where for the meantime, this should go to so-and-so, etc. Mom chose me to be executor of her estate, but there was no way I was going to go through all that stuff alone. We barely got through her room, and a lot is still left, but we got condensed to one closet for now, mostly. We haven't even touched the basement stuff. It was quite emotional. So many tears. Becky showed up too. Dave was resident dog wrangler and car loader. Becky and Dave were mom's special elves, and became part of the family throughout the whole ordeal.

Time went by way too fast, and before we knew it Megan and Becky had to go. We took the time to say a prayer, praise to the Lord for where we are, and hope for our future.

Thank God for church! Dave and I would have been so down if it wasn't for the great folks at CCC.

Ok, gotta run the dogs down. Such is my life!

Friday, September 15, 2006

The cat is getting used to it- kinda

When I brought Phoebe home, it was just her and me. Then one day Dave came and brought this thing called a dog. Abby and Phoebe gradually grew to love each other. It took time. Now with three dogs in the house, she was mad at me. Its been 5 days, and things are getting settled down. The cat is coming out of hiding less, and being more bold. Hopefully they will all continue to get along until Dad returns from his little trip... I think the dogs all really enjoy it, but sadly Dave and I could not deal with this long term. We both love them all to death, but 3 dogs with no yard is not easy. Especially poor Dave when I am at work has to walk them all by himself.

Just so you know, that is not my cat above, but some random internet cat. Feel free to look at my yahoo photos and profile photos for pics of Phoebe (cat) and Abby(dog). I believe Daisy and Rugby are somewhere in my Yahoo! photos too!

Oh, and PS, the depression has gotten much better today.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Pain

Sometimes you have to absorb the pain. I have been feeling it radiate into me, from me, and all around me.

Maybe its the dogs being around, and the memories of Mom.

Maybe its the fact that I could so go on Jerry Springer right now and confront my daddy.

The pain is constant. I would describe it as a dull ache underneath my breastbone that goes up and down my spine and through all my bones and around my face. Mostly it resides in my heart. On occasion it wells up behind my eyes and oozes out as tears. When that happens, I feel as if my very soul aches.

Jesus knew pain. He knew hurt. His chosen people were to bring him to execution. Jesus said "My soul is very sorrowful, even to death." (Mark 14:34) In fact, he was so anguished that according to Luke, he sweat so profusely it was like blood falling to the ground.

My Savior knew my pain, he understood. Infact, I think his suffering must have been worse than mine. He took all of the world's sins, all the world's pain, and left it at Cavalry.

God could have just left it there, but no, he sent us a comforter in the Holy Spirit. When I am in pain, it is so hard to remember that I have the Holy Spirit with me always. I'll just keep praying, try to let Him wrap His loving arms around me.

Monday, September 11, 2006

Its a zoo at my house

See these dogs? They are my Dad's dogs. Since Dad is on vacation, I have these two, plus my own Jack Russell and a cat and a hamster and a boyfriend. Its a zoo.

Daisy is the Bishon. She is sweet, adopted with some health issues by my parents, she battles obesity and diabetes. We have to feed her a special diet and give her a shot after she eats. Then we get to test her urine. That's right, Dave or I get to hold a tiny strip under her and hope we get pee on it. Sounds like fun, huh? She is a sweetheart, though, and I would not trade her for the world.

Rugby is a Lhasa Peke, one of those designer mutts. He looks like an ewok to me. He is the only boy dog, and has the energy of a puppy still. Sometimes we call him the flying squirrel. You would get it if you saw him in action.

Abby, the Jack Russell, came with Dave. She may be 8, but she is a Jack Russell, which means hyperactive.

So Abby and Rugby run around while Daisy either lays and watches, or tries to keep up.

Poor Phoebe (the cat) is keeping up and out of the way most of the time. She thinks Rugby wants to eat her. Rugby probably just wants to play, like the crazy boy dog he is.

On my desk is a picture of Tony Shaloub, Emmy winner. My friend Betty snapped it on the red carpet at the Emmys and gave me a copy! He actually turned to wave at her despite the "no camera" rule. Way to go Tony! Special thanks to Betty for giving me one of her treasures. New episodes of Monk return January. Now why I put Tony Shaloub in with the zoo article? Monk(ey) maybe?

Oh, the hamster. He is probably the best behaved of them all, and he is the one who isn't fixed!

Friday, September 8, 2006

More evidence that the Almighty answers prayers

I hate to admit it, but my finances are not in tip-top shape right now. I know that when I write my check to the church to tithe, I could be paying other bills off. But it is that important to me to give my firstfruits to God. I sign my check saying "Ok God, I trust you, you will provide... Jehovah Jireh!" I get to the last few bills and realize not only is the account dwindeling, but so are the number of checks I have, and that means spending money to order checks. I decide who can wait until I get more checks (please no emails about e-pay and online banking stuff, I like writing checks.) After a trip to the grocery store, it turns out I was also deciding who will wait to get paid. I picked the bill with the latest due date, so it still is not yet late.

Upon arrival at work - good news! We will be getting bonus checks tommorow! Yipee! How many times have I been short recently and I turn and say "God, I know that somehow, you will come through for me" and he has? I cannot count.

God has come through for me daily, sometimes several times a day. Sometimes it is just in a hug or smile from the right person at the right time. God answers my prayers in wierd ways, His ways. His path is right and I trust him to guide me. I was reading in Proverbs and found this verse so appropriate: "The Lord directs our steps, so why try to understand everything along the way?" (Ch20 V24 NLT)What this means to me is that I should not have to worry or dig too deep when I do not understand what is going on in my life, but trust that the Lord is with me, directing me, leading me to His purpose.

The greatest lesson I have learned is that something horrible happening can end up being one of the most wonderful things to happen. My mom got really sick and died. I came back to God, so did Becky and Dave. I was able to heal wounds with my mom, and she was able to heal a lot of her own. I was able to get closer to my sister than ever possible. This has all lead to new things in my life, new outlook on everything. I have personally experienced the ressurection power of Christ Jesus that Paul talks about in Philipians 3:10-11. (Shout out to Alpha II classmates!)

I was in counceling. I have not had to go back. God has met all of my needs. Why? Because I have a personal relationship with him, and I surrendered myself to HIS will. I encourage you to call upon the LORD, take your broken heart to him to heal. Psalm 17 verse 6-7 NLT reads "I am praying to you because I know you will answer, O God. Bend down and listen as I pray. Show me your unfailing love in wonderful ways.By your mighty power you rescue those who seek refuge..."

Oh yes, and it may seem when you pray that God is "out to lunch" or doesn't care about your prayers. Know that His timing is perfect, and while you may want it NOW, God knows what you need, when you need it. Sometimes "you can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you'll find, you get what you need" to quote the Rolling Stones.

I cannot praise Him and thank Him enough. God, you are so awesome.

Wednesday, September 6, 2006

One vacation ends, one begins

Last day of my "vacation." Where did I go? Hmm, I was adventurous and went as far as Naperville, Davis Junction, Sublette, Rochelle and Elkhorn Wisconsin. Does it count as vacation if I visit the Employee Health doctor? Well I did, and got cleared to work with no restrictions. That should make my boss and co-workers happy. I will blog about my day with God, but I have to get those pictures uploaded to the computer. Instead, I will treat you to something amazing about my evening.

After visiting the doctor, and my appointment with God, I went to my dad's house. There I mostly went through her pictures on her computer and uploaded them to my Yahoo photos account. Dave and I walked Daisy and Rugby then went home to wash up. We actually went out for dinner with Dad and YOLA. That would be the woman he is dating. (She is not pictured above, that would be my mom... oh and Daisy is in the photo too. The guy would be Dad.)

I never thought that I would be sitting across the table from Dad and another woman. I am still not sure how I feel about it. The big accomplishment here is that I did it. I survived! I did not come home bawling or upset. I am just letting it all soak in. On Saturday, Dad is leaving for a 2 week vacation ... with YOLA to tour some of the US. Yola is originally from Poland. She was the woman we hired to help us care for Mom near the end.

If you seem lost, refer to my previous posts.

I feel like shrugging. It drove me nuts when its all Mom could do, but it is how I feel, and now I understand.

Should have plenty adventures in the next few weeks with 2 additional dogs in the house. That makes the grand total 3 dogs, 1 cat, 1 hamster, 1 boyfriend (HA HA HA HA HA!) Good news is I can drop off the extra dogs when I am not home at Papa's house. We made him a grandfather because they are my only children so far.

In the meantime, remind me to upload my palm photos and then maybe I can take more! The party is just getting started!

I told YOLA to make Dad check in with me from time to time. Someone has to. She might be good for something...