How far you have come

I will say that there is a good time to look back, not turn back, but look back. That is, too see how far you have come.

I started journaling pretty regularly December 26, 2005... the day I went out and bought my journal. I had gotten a daily devotional that would help me with the pain of my mom's illness. I also started reading the Bible at that time more faithfully. I was a baby, vulnerable and hurting, lost and without direction.

I still have hurts and vulnerabilities, don't get me wrong. Now, I have purpose and direction, and the hurts don't hurt so much. When you look back on how much you have grown, you realize that the change was good (and sometimes exponential.) It makes you less afraid to make more steps and to move forward in life.

This review of my life has enabled me to take steps forward, and it is amazing even how much my life has changed since then! It is also cool to see how many pages I wrote between the time I got engaged to the time I was married. Journaling also helps me to connect with God in a different way, I can only describe it like the way I used to write notes in high school. I always loved writing and sending notes to my friends, it was a way to stay connected when we couldn't talk and the lecture was boring us. It also was a secret communique, and had a level of intrigue to it.

I used to also take notes on stuff that popped out to me when reading the Bible, but sometimes that isn't always convenient, although I am sure I will return to that once again. Right now I am in a "plowing through the story" phase with my new Message. I also do a small study first thing in the morning, but sometimes it is hard enough to do it, never mind getting my journal into the same location. I just woke up, and am still getting used to this "joy comes in the morning" idea. (Keep in mind that my "morning" is between 11am and 12 noon.)

For those of you who knew my mom, "YUP YUP YUP, JUNE THE 8TH, THE DAY THEY PUT THE WATER IN THE POOL!" --I am so amazed at how much God has allowed me to heal from her death and really grow... not that I don't still miss her, I do. Happy June the 8th Mom!