Happy Birthday Mom

We are entering the week of tears and joy, sadness and celebration.

Mom's birthday is today, and next Saturday, the anniversary of her death.

I am sad. I miss her. I am happy. She is with Jesus and all of the loved ones passed. In the blink of an eye we will be there with her, but in the meantime, I still miss her.

I would love to picture her driving her Thunderbird and crankin' the radio loud. That's my mom. I don't have a picture of that, but this comes close.

Getcher motor runnin'.....

Born to be wiiiiiild!

Learning to walk

I am about to be blatantly honest, brutally true. If you prefer things that are not deep, go check out Perez Hilton's blog, do not read mine. (You should have figured that out by now.)

I suffer from chronic depression. Since I have gone to God, and nailed my depression to the cross, I have entrusted him to "slay this dragon" for me. But it is not instant, it is a process. It took me 30 years to get the way I was, and I still have a long way to walk before I am away from it fully. Sometimes I forget that. I get cocky. Just because the dragon is injured, does not mean it is dead. The sinful life inside of me, the old me, still comes to a head every once and a while, and I let it take a firm grip before I feel any pain because I would like to believe that it no longer exists. The enemy is real, a force to be reckoned with. Cracks form in my defense, I am just a baby, barely over one years old in my "new life" and I am still learning how to walk.

Unsatisfied holes from my childhood are just starting to be filled with the love from God and the Church Family. I am just now starting to let them be filled. I am just now starting to reach out to people for friendships and relationships to strengthen me. When an opportunity to injure me comes up, the devil sees it and sneaks in like... well, the devil.

I realize that I have not had good human role models for certain things, and I should not be trying to step up and do things I don't know how to do correctly. I am going to step down, and learn these things in a better environment, a safer, more loving environment. This is not quitting, but realizing when I need to step back and learn more. Maybe one day I will be able to step up again, if it is God's will. In the meantime, I have to remember that I am still learning how to walk, I am still a toddler. That also means its okay if I fall down. God is there, my perfect parent, guiding the way.

So happy together

Dave and I spent the whole weekend together not doing much. We actually served at church most of the day Saturday, followed by dinner out. Sunday our big thing was grocery shopping at three different stores, four if you count the jaunt to the pet store with the dog. We really just enjoy being together and doing stuff together.

Grocery shopping was enjoyable because we were planning our week together. I was surprised how picking meat out together was enjoyable. It was when we were by the tomatoes that I realized how much he just wants to make me happy. Dave is always looking for ways to make me happy even when he does not enjoy things. Dave hates tomatoes, but he wanted me to pick some out for me. When I suggested BLTs, it was almost awesome because we found something both of us enjoy, even if his T means toast.

Serving at church was all we had planned for Saturday, and it was really awesome to greet with Dave for second service. Then he surprises me by saying he would usher too! Starting in August, we will probably be separate for most of our time, but Saturday it was fun to be with him.

Sometimes I feel like we have our own language, because we know each other so well we anticipate each other. Other times I feel like we are speaking different languages. Don't get me wrong, we are not "perfect." This weekend didn't go off without some disagreements, but we worked it out. Many times we disagree because one or both of us in cranky. When we come back together and talk, it all seems to work out okay. We just have to get over "it", whatever "it" may be. In the end, just being together is what we both really need.

The best part is that we share many of the same passions in life, including our religion and love of God through Christ Jesus. We grew in this together, and that brings us even closer together. Maybe that is why we enjoy serving together so much. We also support each other. I really encourage Dave and his writing (among other things), and he really encourages me with the things that I do (whatever that is.) That is what marriage really is, growing together, supporting each other, and compromise.

Anyhow, I love you Dave. Thanks for being you and loving me.

Penny pinching at home...

It appears that Dave and I will have to cut back on our expenses. This means that the dog and cat will have to start contributing to housework and stop making housework. Also, we will be tying fans to their tails in lieu of air conditioning. Worse comes to worse, we do have two lovely roast beasts.

Seriously though, Dave and I have been horrible on our spending, and we really need to cut back on eating out. Mostly we pick stuff up instead of cooking, which is horrible. I suggest some cheaper grocery stores and no more quick pickup meals. Lots more deli meat for sandwiches.

We are good at setting a budget, just hard to stick to it in real life. Abby won't mind doing the dishes for a while, but I would like plates without dog slobber.

Any ideas HOW to stick to our budget without going insane?

I don't glow in the dark, and you won't either.

After my lovely 5 days off in a row (the not quite a vacation vacation,) I head back into work today.

Sometimes the last thing I ever want to do is go to work. It is not that I hate my job, because I don't. It is just the fact that I have to work for a living and cannot live like a cat or dog, you know, the good life. I really enjoy what I do, I love taking care of patients and making their exams the best I can for them.

It is scary to be in the hospital. You don't know what is going on, and sometimes the doctors order all these tests and you don't know what they are and what they are for. Even a routine chest x-ray can frighten patients. I tell them that it is a screening tool that most doctors use when you come into the hospital, or come for surgery and it can tell you a lot of things. Also, they want a baseline for your admission should the situation change, that means get worse OR better. It is almost as routine as a CBC (that is a complete blood count, the most simple blood test there is.) A good rule of thumb is to never, ever lie to your patients. They always find out the truth.

Most people don't realize that the amount of radiation they receive from a chest x-ray is the equivalent to flying one hour in an airplane. Most people never hesitate to fly, but yet they question an x-ray the doctor orders. In other words, it is not that much radiation. Pilots and stewardesses get more radiation in their job than I do in mine.

And for the last time, x-rays do NOT make you glow in the dark! You would not believe how many times I hear people say this. Sometimes they are joking, but many times people are serious, they truly don't know this.

One of my favorite things to do is show kids what their insides look like on the x-rays. Most of them like it, and I encourage them to bring the x-rays to show and tell at school. I like to point out all the important parts to them; like in a chest x-ray: these lines are your ribs, these boxes are your spine, and this gray blob is your heart, the black area under the ribs is all the air in your lungs. Truthfully, I think many adults wish I would do that for them too.

What I cannot do is "read" your x-rays. That is up to the radiologist to do. He is a doctor, I am a technologist. Two years of school for me verses a billion years for the doctors, trust me you want them to read your films. Yes, I can see obvious fractures, but I bet you can too if I showed you the picture. Those are usually the people who come in with their arm going in two separate directions asking if it is broken before we take the x-ray, we can usually say yes, especially when the bone comes out through the skin, that is not normal.

I grew up being taught that the only dumb question is the one unasked. So, go ahead and ask me, because I don't mind. If I don't know I will say it. Some things I just cannot answer, or are better asked of your nurse or doctor, so don't be mad if I say so. Just don't ask if you will glow in the dark because I already answered that one.

Sentimentally yours

After my cousin's wedding on Saturday, I got sentimental. First, I have to say that Tammy was the most beautiful bride I have ever seen. Maybe it is because of the sparkle in her eyes, maybe just because she is... I don't know. Mike is one lucky guy. Too many highlights, plus it is not my story to tell. Just know that I had a blast and am truly blessed to have Tammy as my cousin, and I loved being her bridesmaid.

Sunday was Father's Day and Megan, Dave and I threw a BBQ at my dad's house. Dave's folks also came by, and we had a good time hanging out and eating yummy food. Megan made dad's favorite cookies and I got to bring some home (lucky me!) Abby also got to hang out with Rugby and Daisy, so it truly was a family outing.

Today I had plans to hang with a friend, but the power went out and changed her plans. I ended up at my dad's house looking at my wedding photos on his computer (my DVD drive is busted on my computer, so I had to go somewhere else!) Then I went shopping for some scrapbook stuff. I feel like I didn't do much. I only say this because it is a "vacation day" for me, and I didn't have to work. The rain doesn't help my mood any either.

I am feeling sentimental, and looking forward to getting these photos I am having printed back tomorrow. I am looking forward to ordering more and doing my wedding album. I can't wait to see Tammy's photos when they are available.

I am so glad that I got married. I know it sounds cheesy, and some people don't get it. It's okay because I do, and that is all that matters. Dave and I looked at each other a lot during Tammy's ceremony. I hope I always carry that feeling of being in love in my heart, that this is not a "honeymoon" phase. I think it will as long as we never stop growing. Looking back and being sentimental is a way to appreciate how far we have come.

Man, have we come far...

Not starving and other reasons to read the Bible

This picture came in an email to me, along with a few other funny ones. We just finished the "Eat this Book" series at church, where we learn that God's intention is for us to consume his word. It blows my mind how many people, even Christians alone, do NOT read the Bible on a daily, or even weekly basis. Many people rely on hearing the word in church, or just don't even read it except maybe on Christmas or Easter. I rarely did a while back. Something happened when I did start to read it. Things started making sense, my life started to change. I am actually almost done with reading my Bible all the way through for the second time. The first time, I journaled along with most of it. This time I just kind of soaked it in and read without having to journal, most of it at my bed before sleeping. I am in Matthew, finally having read the whole of the Old Testament.

Now, if Bible reading is a new thing for you, don't start at Genesis and plow through. You get stuck at Exodus or Leviticus. My suggestion is to pick a gospel and start there. The first time, I started with Luke. Many other people suggest John. Then go on, Romans is really good. If you are ready to try Old Testament, go with the Psalms or Proverbs, maybe even Ecclesiastes first. Some people even read a Proverb chapter a day (there are 31 chapters.) I also really like Ester. (Ok, I like a LOT of the Bible, its hard for me to pick!)

Some people won't like me for saying this, but if you get stuck, skip it. Yes, Numbers is the most boring chapter in the whole book. Or, you can "yada yada" yourself until you come upon a story. The famous book, The Prayer of Jabez, was written about an obscure guy mentioned that I never would have found if I hadn't said "yada yada" through all the names of people. Who cares who "so and so" begot?

Once you start to become familiar with the Bible, the stories are important and eventually you will begin to care what "so and so's" name is. Maybe you won't, but my point is -- don't let it stop you from reading the best book ever!

Is the language a problem? I highly suggest trying The Message or another paraphrase of the Bible. I bought mine almost two weeks ago, started at Matthew, and I am up to James now. I can't say enough to tell you how fresh this is to me.

I wish you could feel the change in my heart and mind since I started to read the Bible. It would make you pick it up today! I just feel so awesome about having God's word in my heart and on my mind. I learn so much about God, who he is and who I am because I choose to follow Jesus. I see how I should be living my life and how screwed up this world is. I see that life is never easy, but there is always love. Having read the OT, I see all the prophecy Jesus fulfills, and all the scripture that He quotes and it helps me to understand why it is so important that Jesus died for me.

This is radical, revolutionary, completely different from what you see on TV. This is God direct, in HD, on a personal channel just for you. You want God to speak to you? Ask Him, then open up his word and read. I guarantee you God will speak to you if you are willing to listen. It might even scare the hell out of you...

Taming the tongue

The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences. (Proverbs 18:21 NLT)

I ended my last post with that, and realized how often I end up like this cute little hamster here, shoving a carrot in my mouth to shut up.

I don't always say the best things. My tongue sometimes has a mind of its own. (Or my fingers in the case of the computer...)

So that has been on my mind. I realize I am a strait talker. I come off harsh, loud, brash. People who know me, really know me, know that I don't mean any harm. I come off as bossy. What happens when you put a bossy sounding person with someone who doesn't like it? Sparks fly. I don't mean anything of it, I don't mean to be bossy.

I really am trying to change. I am trying to have more intention with my words. Here are some verses I need to ponder... how about you?

Proverbs 13:3 "Those who control their tongue will have a long life; opening your mouth can ruin everything."

Proverbs 15:1-2 "A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare. The tongue of the wise makes knowledge appealing, but the mouth of a fool belches out foolishness.

Proverbs 15:26 "The heart of the godly thinks carefully before speaking; the mouth of the wicked overflows with evil words."

Proverbs 21:23 "Watch your tongue and keep your mouth shut, and you will stay out of trouble."

Matthew 15:11 "It’s not what goes into your mouth that defiles you; you are defiled by the words that come out of your mouth.”

Romans 10:9-10 "If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by confessing with your mouth that you are saved."

James 3:2-11 "Indeed, we all make many mistakes. For if we could control our tongues, we would be perfect and could also control ourselves in every other way.

We can make a large horse go wherever we want by means of a small bit in its mouth. And a small rudder makes a huge ship turn wherever the pilot chooses to go, even though the winds are strong. In the same way, the tongue is a small thing that makes grand speeches.

But a tiny spark can set a great forest on fire. And the tongue is a flame of fire. It is a whole world of wickedness, corrupting your entire body. It can set your whole life on fire, for it is set on fire by hell itself.

People can tame all kinds of animals, birds, reptiles, and fish, but no one can tame the tongue. It is restless and evil, full of deadly poison. Sometimes it praises our Lord and Father, and sometimes it curses those who have been made in the image of God. And so blessing and cursing come pouring out of the same mouth. Surely, my brothers and sisters, this is not right! Does a spring of water bubble out with both fresh water and bitter water? Does a fig tree produce olives, or a grapevine produce figs? No, and you can’t draw fresh water from a salty spring."

That is a lot of words, but all from God. I guess I have to put my tongue in His hands, and also do much biting.

Unapologetically me

Recently I sent out an e-mail survey. It read " Describe me in one word.... just one single word. Send it to me and to me only."
I thought I would share the results with you. How daring am I? These are random order.

Energetic, dependable, caring, fun, bubbley, caring, NUTS!, wonderful, caring, supercalifragelisticexpialidocious, spiritual.


What a list! Now it's your turn! If you read my blog, please drop me a comment using only one word to describe me. Feel free to do so anonymously. Especially if it is about my horrible ugly picture.


Other terms used to describe me from random saved emails: Dr Shelley, You have a real knack for writing and story telling, You are a wonderful young lady, and you enriched my life,I think you are a kind, intelligent, and fun person Shelley, You are CRAZY! And I love you!you are such an incredible friend.you're a freak,Love ya...you have excellent taste in best friends, intelligent, great potential in life, Thank you so much for your prayers!!

I decided to do this because my self-esteem really needed it. Also, I wanted to show how kind words mean so much to me. Kind words mean so much to many people. So after you comment, send others some kind words that they need to hear...

The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences. (Proverbs 18:21 NLT)

What's in your brown bag?

It was great, because this weekend I got to sit through service twice, with different speakers each time. Saturday was Tim Sutherland (at the Yellow Box 5pm), and Sunday was Janet McMahon (DownTown 11am). The message was about how important it is to read the Bible every day, and that God intended for us to live on His word, not just food. This goes along with my post about life's instruction book.

Back in the Old Testament days, yes the days of Moses, the people relied on Manna for food while wandering in the wilderness. Manna (Hebrew for "what is it") was a food that God provided, but it had to be gathered daily, and you could only keep enough for the day because it would be rotten and full of maggots the next morning (yummy... think of bad chinese in your refrigerator.) So what does that matter for today? Well, today we need to gather our spiritual nourishment daily. This means we are supposed to dine on a course of the Bible, or God's word every day. Deuteronomy 8:3 says "He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your fathers had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD."

Think about it. Every day we turn on the TV and are "fed" things that tell us how to lead our lives. Buy this shampoo, drive that car, eat here, shop there, watch this, look like her, live life like this guy. Don't watch TV? How about radio, magazines, newspapers, billboards, comments people say? You cannot avoid it. Everywhere you go, the world is telling you how to live and what to do, wear, look like, eat and feel.

God has plans for us that are better than the world. How are you going to know what God has planned for you if you ignore what He has to say and only listen to the world? Every day the world throws bad ideas at us. God wants us to get His word FRESH everyday, so our brain, our souls, do not get full of maggots.

In Deuteronomy 11:18 God commands us "Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads." Solomon instructs us in Proverbs 6:21-23 "Keep their words always in your heart. Tie them around your neck. When you walk, their counsel will lead you. When you sleep, they will protect you. When you wake up, they will advise you. For their command is a lamp and their instruction a light; their corrective discipline is the way to life." Psalm 119:11 writes "I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you."

Why not listen to the world, how can billions of people be wrong? John writes (2:15-17) "Do not love this world nor the things it offers you, for when you love the world, you do not have the love of the Father in you. For the world offers only a craving for physical pleasure, a craving for everything we see, and pride in our achievements and possessions. These are not from the Father, but are from this world. And this world is fading away, along with everything that people crave. But anyone who does what pleases God will live forever."

On a personal note, the more that I read the Bible, the better I feel. I take lessons and apply them to my life and it works! God's way really is better! Don't just take my word for it, pack a little in your brown bag every day. Give it a try.

Your Turn TAMMY!!!!

Here is my cousin, Tammy at my 80s themed bachelorette party. Notice the infamous "shoe shirt." Well, Tammy is having her bachelorette tonight, and her wedding next Saturday. Kudos to Tammy and her sis Ashley for throwing an awesome party for me in January.

Congratulations on finding such a great guy for you. I wish you both all the happiness Dave and I have found, and more.

Now tonight is girls night out, so don't be ringing up my phone! I cannot say what the plans are because she wants a surprise, but she will enjoy it.

Tammy, I love you dearly, and am so excited to be one of your bridesmaids. I know your wedding will be beautiful! In the meantime, lets PARTY!!!

How far you have come

I will say that there is a good time to look back, not turn back, but look back. That is, too see how far you have come.

I started journaling pretty regularly December 26, 2005... the day I went out and bought my journal. I had gotten a daily devotional that would help me with the pain of my mom's illness. I also started reading the Bible at that time more faithfully. I was a baby, vulnerable and hurting, lost and without direction.

I still have hurts and vulnerabilities, don't get me wrong. Now, I have purpose and direction, and the hurts don't hurt so much. When you look back on how much you have grown, you realize that the change was good (and sometimes exponential.) It makes you less afraid to make more steps and to move forward in life.

This review of my life has enabled me to take steps forward, and it is amazing even how much my life has changed since then! It is also cool to see how many pages I wrote between the time I got engaged to the time I was married. Journaling also helps me to connect with God in a different way, I can only describe it like the way I used to write notes in high school. I always loved writing and sending notes to my friends, it was a way to stay connected when we couldn't talk and the lecture was boring us. It also was a secret communique, and had a level of intrigue to it.

I used to also take notes on stuff that popped out to me when reading the Bible, but sometimes that isn't always convenient, although I am sure I will return to that once again. Right now I am in a "plowing through the story" phase with my new Message. I also do a small study first thing in the morning, but sometimes it is hard enough to do it, never mind getting my journal into the same location. I just woke up, and am still getting used to this "joy comes in the morning" idea. (Keep in mind that my "morning" is between 11am and 12 noon.)

For those of you who knew my mom, "YUP YUP YUP, JUNE THE 8TH, THE DAY THEY PUT THE WATER IN THE POOL!" --I am so amazed at how much God has allowed me to heal from her death and really grow... not that I don't still miss her, I do. Happy June the 8th Mom!

New Title to the Blog

You may have noticed that I have changed the title of my blog. I have decided that "icanseerightthroughyou" is a great moniker, but a horrible blog title. Especially since I have focused my life on Jesus.

It has been on my heart to do so for a while, so I turned to scripture for inspiration.

This drawing, if you notice is at the bottom of my blog. It was done by my mom. I thought it went very well with the scripture relating to my life, and has been inspiration for me. Out of death comes life, and regeneration is possible. Thanks Mom for being more inspiring that you will ever know.

Let's see what else will be new with me...

You mean I have to put it together myself?

I see many people complain about life. The problem is that it ends there. If you don't do anything to fix it, it is not going to get better.

We aren't born knowing everything. We have to learn how to walk, talk, drive, type, tie shoes, etc. So why is it that people think that life will be easy?

We need to learn to handle life just like we learn to handle a car. Some people are really bad drivers. Some people are really bad at handling life. They probably never tried really hard, or were taught the wrong way. That doesn't mean you can't improve. Help is out there, it is available if you look for it.

So if you grew up learning how to be mean, selfish, rude and put people down, STOP! There are other ways to live life. If you haven't had a job in 5 years, HELLO THERE IS A PROBLEM HERE!!! I don't think it is the lack of work, I think it is a lack of ambition. If you don't find out the correct way to apply for a job, if you don't show that you want that job, you will not get it. If you think you are a ball of dirt, and completely useless, CUT IT OUT! Seriously, you have a worth. God loves you, and created you for a purpose. Start getting involved and see what it might be. If you are waiting for God to bring you the perfect husband, GET OUT AND FIND HIM because he is not coming to ring your doorbell (unless you want to marry a Jehova's Witness or delivery guy!)

Notice a pattern? ACTION. Life takes action, and you cannot complain how bad it is if you aren't doing anything to make it better. Poverty, homelessness, poor education, malnourishment, all of these things can be tackled if people stopped talking about it and started doing something about it. I see too many people spending too much time at the mall and not enough time volunteering at schools and soup kitchens.

My blog here is not to make you mad, but to get you to realize that THINGS CAN CHANGE for the better! What is one thing you can do THIS WEEK to make life (yours or anyone else's) better? Sometimes, all it takes is a phone call or a kind word. Think about it, comment on it, then "JUST DO IT!"

This actually IS my cat

Due to the large amount of comments regarding cats, I decided to post a picture of my baby. This is Phoebe. I got her from the local shelter as a teen cat. At the time I was living alone and didn't have time for a kitten. She has been one of the best things in my life. She is my daughter. She also loves Dave.

On an update regarding my purchase of "The Message:" I am totally soaking it up! I started in Matthew, and just finished Mark and started Luke! It is so weird how refreshing this is to read! Phoebe has not discovered that this book has a ribbon in it yet. She does know several other books that do. I thought my cat was interested in the Bible, turns out she was after the ribbon. By the way, her middle name is Trouble.

I found life's instruction manual!

Most people wonder why God is not speaking to them today. Ninety-three percent of American households own at least one copy of the Bible. Not only is it the world's best selling book ever, it is God talking to us. This book is Life's "not so little" Instruction Manual. Sure, it has wide distribution, but how many people do you know who have read it, the entire thing?

One of the best things you can do in your life is become a Christian, (get saved, find God, follow Jesus, get on the J-train.) Whatever you call it, it means having a personal relationship with God through Christ Jesus and accepting his gift of eternal salvation. If you haven't gotten there yet, it is okay, God has not given up on you. If you have, great! You've found the narrow path. How do you stay there? The same way that you would maintain a relationship with a good friend. Good friends keep open lines of communication. They talk frequently, they love and respect one another, they know each other very well. Your good friends are involved in your life all the time, not just when you throw a party. They are there in the good times, and through the bad times.

God wants a relationship with you, all the time, good and bad. That takes time to develop, time to get to know one another. God has all the time in the world, he is always there, (here, or was, or is going to be.) We, on the other hand, do not. We need to choose who we spend time with, who we need to get to know. God is very tangible, very real, and very available to us. It is in a book, this book is called The Holy Bible. God's story is written down in a book, because we are humans and are not all knowing. If we read the Bible, we can get to know Him more. See, God is OMNIPOTENT (fancy word for all powerful,) he created us, we were knit together in the womb, he wrote our books too.

Growing hurt a lot. While I struggled with life, I loved reading. I read books like crazy, soaking up stories, living life vicariously because real life hurt. I often wondered why life did not include a book on the How-to at birth. The problem was not that there was no book available, I just was not reading that book, and even when I was, it was just old favorites like Psalm 23 or First Corinthians 13. That is only like looking at a photograph, it gives you the idea, but you don't really know Him until you know His story.

The best part about the Bible is that it is not just God's story, but it is ours as well. Once you start reading it, you will realize how much you can relate to the stories contained within. The Bible is a relevant, living story. God is speaking to us now, and today. All it takes to listen is to open the book and start reading.


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Looking for a Bible you can understand? You can try The Message in any of its many forms. I just picked this one up at my local bookstore thanks to a gift certificate from a good friend and a coupon. Don't be thrown off if it says "student" Bible, we are all students!

THE MESSAGE//REMIX 2.0

The best-selling Bible for students, now with expanded features.

• Reader-friendly text of The Message, the most widely read paraphrase
• Expanded introductions covering unique information about the authors, culture and relevant world history for each book of the Bible
• A topical guide geared for the issues that students face
• Handcrafted maps and charts that enhance the understanding of Scripture
• New slimmer size

Read. Think. Pray. Live.

The Message/Remix is purely, simply God's Word in its most easily understood language. It isn't like any other student Bible you've ever seen.

Make this vital book part of everything you are. Read it, cover to cover. The Message/Remix features verse-numbered paragraphs to help you study and think deeply about the text. Pray that as you read, God will open your eyes to the personal messages He has for you. Finally, live it out. The more time you spend in The Message, the more your life will never be the same.

Adventurously expectant

I love how children always have these wide eyes. They are unsure of what to expect next. My kids (the dog and cat) are no longer babies, but they still look at me with this "what's next mom?" look on their faces. They find me and Dave fascinating, and that in itself fascinates me. I look to them, because I don't have people kids to remind me what it is like to be that way. It reminds me of this passage from Romans 8:15 in the Message:
This resurrection life you received from God is not a timid, grave-tending life. It's adventurously expectant, greeting God with a childlike "What's next, Papa?" God's Spirit touches our spirits and confirms who we really are. We know who he is, and we know who we are: Father and children. And we know we are going to get what's coming to us—an unbelievable inheritance! We go through exactly what Christ goes through. If we go through the hard times with him, then we're certainly going to go through the good times with him!

So, when I look forward to life, and what God has to offer, I am trying to be "adventurously expectant" and not afraid or timid. I know God is good. Why should I fear what comes my way? Whatever it is, God is going to use it for His purpose and glory, for something good. Yes, the waiting sucks! But, I know God is with me. More from Romans 8 in the Message:
All around us we observe a pregnant creation. The difficult times of pain throughout the world are simply birth pangs. But it's not only around us; it's within us. The Spirit of God is arousing us within. We're also feeling the birth pangs. These sterile and barren bodies of ours are yearning for full deliverance. That is why waiting does not diminish us, any more than waiting diminishes a pregnant mother. We are enlarged in the waiting. We, of course, don't see what is enlarging us. But the longer we wait, the larger we become, and the more joyful our expectancy.

Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God's Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don't know how or what to pray, it doesn't matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That's why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.

It is so good to know that God's spirit is making prayer out of my aching groans... I groan a lot.

So now I am going to try to keep that childlike point of view, and instead of saying "what is life going to throw at me now?" I am going to say, "what is next, Papa?"