Temptation and choices

Sometimes the opportunity is staring us in the face. Sometimes we go out of our ways to get to it. Some of us can shrug it off, some of us sweat trying to avoid it.

For some it is chocolate, for some booze, for some men, for some women, for all of us it is selfishness.

We struggle with decisions based on what we feel like or what we desire. We struggle to do what is good for us or what might be not so good. So why is that?

We as humans are given free will. We have the choice to do what we please. Why does God want us to be "good" and then gives us the choice to be "bad"?

What fun is life if you have no choice? What fun is it to love someone if you are forced? Its not really love is it?

We have the choice to do things that will make us better or worse. Most of us like to balance out both. Some of us end up doing more worse than better.

I am trying to change that balance in myself. Because it is not about me anymore. Its more than me. I want to be healthy and happy for my husband, for our future children, for God. See God wants me to live my life to the full, and when I don't it breaks His heart. It breaks His heart because MY heart is broken.

My heart is broken because I made bad choices. I ate too much, drank too much, fell in love too much, fell in lust too much, watched way too much TV. I worked out too little, I improved my mind too little, I read too little, spent too little time with others, I loved God too little.

I am my own problem.

What choices should I make, what should I do? What ever I choose, I choose. I will face the consequences of my choice.

Yes, those brownies taste good, but I feel so much better when I eat a salad. Sounds boring, but oh so true! I feel better if I exercise, not if I lay on the couch all day. I feel better when I turn off the TV and read the Bible. I feel better when I commit myself to being a better person by studying the Bible, leadership, and self-improvement. I feel better in my marriage now than I ever have in any relationship EVER! I feel better following God's will than my own.

My own will led to darkness, loneliness, depression, obesity, physical and emotional pain. I can do whatever I choose, but the things I choose can sometimes devour me. I would rather the Lord devour me, and build me up in Him.