Hakuna Matata- it means no worries

I was seeking answers, I knocked and the door opened.

I have come to this point amidst all the chaos where I am totally surrounded by peace.  Part of me worries its a manic phase, but there is just this overwhelming feeling and peace which cannot be described without words.  I feel anxious and excited, but more in the anticipatory stage than anything else.  Not to say that bad thoughts don't get in and worm their way to my head.  I call upon God and a peace which surpasses all understanding is mine.

How can I explain it? I cannot.  All I can figure is this: God has a purpose in putting me where I am and I need to trust him.  I have been blessed every time I do trust God, he has never not kept a promise (which means he always has) and his word says he will not leave or forsake me.  So, why worry?  Hakuna Matata my friends.  Okay, not quite.  Yes I have worries, yes I certainly have troubles.  Is it going to be okay? Yes.  I am going to grow and learn from this experience like never before.

Talking to strange men in bars is not a habit of mine - well it hasn't been for a long, long time.  Yet Friday night I had a divine appointment with a guy named Sam.  Now this was an after-conference networking event, so its not like I was hanging in bars trying to pick up men.  In fact, I was peaceful in my chair until God told me to move.  The bar was loud, and I found myself between two conversations, unable to hear any of them.  So I got up and moved, perchance I started talking to Sam because he welcomed me to sit next to him.  I think he was looking for a conversation as well.  Or "networking" as they call it in business circles.  We exchanged stories, and my mouth ran on a bit as always.  I can't help but brag on my church and my pastor.  I amazed myself as I was actually able to hold eye contact with a stranger. (I am getting better!) What really impressed him was when I was so flat-out honest and open about the rough times I had been going through.  And I don't' mean I impressed him like he thinks I am awesome, but like I made an impression, an impact if you will.  He told me that I encouraged him.  It was a word others had told me before, about how God has his hand on me, and I said so, but I said it in a way as if to say "really? are people just being nice?"  He said to me "you should listen to God's people."

I know that honestly most people in my shoes would be pretty darn well depressed, if not suicidal.  If I let myself linger on it, it can bring me down.  But you see, my hope is not in things or status or money or whatever can rust or be eaten by moths.  My hope lies in things eternal;  love, relationship, family, things that you can't buy with any amount of money.

Interesting how the conference talked about stripping away idols, and here I am stripped naked of my home, my financial stability, my income, a source of pride and stress and something to hold over my husbands head, and living in the last place I ever thought I would be.

I asked God for clarity, yet I have had the truth all along (kinda like the Force!)

1. Write a book.  There is a story in all of this that will help others and spread the gospel.  There might be several books.
2. Discipleship.  Do it, work on it, commit to it.  I find it important even before so I should just do it. (I am starting a small group if you are interested)
3. Community House.  I would love to figure out what it means for us to live and share homes as a Christian family. 

This is where I am called and to what.  Right here, right now. At this place and time. Surrounded with exactly who I am surrounded by. God answers prayer, makes everything work out for good, and I am confident He will be beside me, leading the way even, every single step of the way.