Just before dawn...

They say it is darkest just before dawn.  I know when the sun is coming up soon because I can hear birds tweeting.  Its like there is this anticipation in the air.  You can feel it in the breeze, and see it in the trees.  I have never been the person to wake up early, but I have always been the stay up late type.

Back before Dave and I even dated, we used to spend hours on the phone.  The best nights were the ones when I noticed the sun starting to come up in the east looking out my balcony.  I had this ache in my body that longed for sleep, yet this anticipation in my heart at the start of a new day.

And here I am, in the dark.  Yet I know that the sun is coming up soon.  I can feel it.  I can smell it.  I can hear it.  I can sense it in and out.  The sun will rise.  Life will go on.  It always has, and it always will.  The difference is that I am choosing to be a part of this new day.

Of course being a person who speaks in metaphors as a way to describe myself, my feelings and emotions, you must understand that I mean the depression, the dark days of my soul, the hiding, the tossing and turning, all of it is near to an end.  At least for this season.  There is hope now, where none was fathomable before.  There is peace in giving up things that I couldn't before.

Whoever tries to keep his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life will preserve it.


Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

So then what in this life have I clung to, that is the pattern of this world?  Oh so much.

I think when I am able to remove some of these layers, I will truly find life.

So pray for me, as I pick my priorities, define my essence, search for what God desires of me, transform and renew my mind, lose my life to save it. 

My Priorities: relationships with 1. God 2. Husband 3. Jeramy 4. Family 5. Friends 6. people who have potential to be family or friends.  (I think that covers everyone!)

Its that simple.  Life is about living.  Not about where, or how, or what you drive.  Its that you are loving while you go about it.

And I love how the birds chirp before dawn, even when it keeps me up.  It lets me know that a new day approaches, and the possibilities are endless.