Giving up the goat

I have had a lot of things to lose recently.  Things I need to get rid of and leave behind me, things that need to be consumed in the fire.  Pride is of course the first thing I struggled with.  Its funny how you can think you don't suffer from pride, until that becomes your pride.  I was prideful, and as you know, pride comes before the fall.  Oh, I tripped right on that pride.  I had many things to be prideful of, and one by one, I had to look them in the face and watch them slip away.

My job, my home, my husband's job, my security, my provision, my power, my plans, my ideas, my strength, my, my my. 

I have been surrounded instead by His power, His grace, His provision, His security, His shelter, His love, His strength, His plans.

When I think about how stubborn I truly was I thought of the phrase "giving up the goat" and so I googled it.  Turns out that phrase is incorrect, a misquote of "giving up the ghost" meaning: to die.  Hmmph.  Yes, that's exactly what this is.  Its putting myself on that cross, dying to myself, and putting Him on the throne.  Oh, and being incorrect about it for a long time.

I was so stubborn, it took 30 years before I let Jesus deep into my heart.  Then it took me another 4 before I truly got it.  Want to know how I got it?  He took it all away.  Now, this is not something that I wasn't warned about, and a lot of it was in choices I made, jumping ahead of the game and following my will instead of his.  Where I am is a combination of my will fighting against God's will, and Him making all things work together for my good.  It is truly a process.

Perhaps the biggest lie that the devil could convince a Christian is that being a Christian makes life easy.  Jesus is the answer, yes, but the right answer is never easy.  There is no magic pill that makes me look like Christie Brinkley.  There is no money tree that gives me everything I want.

What I have found is that God provides what I need, and I cannot ask for more.  Sometimes I can't see how, and I have no hope, and at the last minute he comes through.  All things I need appear at just the right time, much like when Abraham brought Isaac up the mountain.  Surely a ram was provided sparing the boy from his death, and perhaps this is the goat we must give up.  If we give up this goat, we save ourselves from certain death.

I trust you God.  Help me with my untrust.

A Hawk to hang on to

A Red tailed hawk came to visit me the other day.  

Things haven't been going the way I want recently, but they still have been going, and I have never been in need.  I ended up spending more than I had over the weekend.  Good news, because it was a holiday weekend, some of it didn't post yet and I ended up with a check that covered it, written out of my bank, so the funds transferred immediately!  I was pulling out of the bank drive thru when a hawk came and landed in the parking lot right next to me.  Now, this is less than 10 feet away, and its the closest I have ever been to a hawk without bars between us.  I felt brave and stared into its eyes, and it stared back.

Now perhaps I need to go back a bit and explain what birds mean to me.  They didn't used to mean much, but one day I was feeling pretty down, and I was praying to God, asking him, begging him to show me that he loved me, something to let me know he cared.  Then, at a busy corner in broad daylight, an owl landed right as I approached to turn left.  Now, first of all the chances of any bird landing right on the curb of a busy corner are slim, but an owl in bright daylight?  Almost impossible.  I knew it had to be God.  Ever since, when I needed reassurance, and bird would appear at just the right time and remind me.  God is watching, God loves me, God is in control.

Fast forward back to Tuesday and the crazy stress in my life.  The hawk stared back at me, as if to say "pay attention now, I am here, and I know you see me."  The hawk then proceeded to stretch out its wings and its tail.  It wasn't a quick flap, but a full and wide stretch, showing me its beauty, its strength, its glory.  God spoke to my heart: I am here, I am close, I am watching you.  I am strong, I am stretching my wings of protection over you, you are safe.  I love you.

Now I don't hear an audible voice when I hear from God.  Its just like that inside voice that you hear when you are talking to yourself, like an inner knowing.  

When I got home, I got some hard news. I bawled like a baby.  I didn't want to go on anymore to be honest.  But I remembered that Hawk, and I knew that God was in control and it was going to be okay.  It was if He came to tell me that I am going to be hitting a rough patch in my life, and its going to be hard BUT He will be with me and I will be okay.

I feel like a fool for needing the reminding, but God knows me, and that's okay with him.  

Your Love Never Fails (Jesus Culture)

Nothing can separate
Even if I ran away
Your love never fails
I know I still make mistakes
But You have new mercies for me everyday
Your love never fails
You stay the same through the ages
Your love never changes
There maybe pain in the night but joy comes in the morning
And when the oceans rage
I don't have to be afraid
Because I know that You love me
Your love never fails

The wind is strong and the water's deep
But I'm not alone in these open seas
Cause Your love never fails
The chasm is far too wide
I never thought I'd reach the other side
But Your love never fails

You make all things work together for my good

The Monkey and the Fish

So, why would you call a book "The Monkey and the Fish"? I had no idea. But I was really inspired by Dave Gibbons at the Leadership Summit, and so I wanted to read his book.

I had the opportunity to hear him speak at the Story conference as well, and he talked about Isaiah 6, and then we met when he autographed the book I just bought.

Many of you know what I have been dealing with in losing a dear friend. So when I picked up and read this parable from the preface, my heart sank.

A typhoon stranded a monkey on an island. In a protected place on the shore, while waiting for the raging waters to recede, he spotted a fish swimming against the current. It seemed to the monkey the fish was struggling and needed assistance. Being of kind heart, the monkey resolved to help the fish.

A tree leaned precariously over the spot where the fish seemed to be struggling. At considerable risk to himself, the monkey moved far out on a limb, reached down, and snatched the fish from the waters. Scurrying back to the safety of his shelter, he carefully laid the fish on dry ground. For a few moments, the fish showed excitement but soon settled into a peaceful rest.

- An Eastern Parable

My heart heart still sinks reading this.

I put myself at great risk only to bring the fish back to die. I am overwhelmed with guilt in this. I am overwhelmed with pain. But I will not use this fish in vain. No, this fish will be a fertilizer for me to grow, and for me to learn.

Mr. Gibbons, it was a pleasure meeting you, and I cannot wait to consume your book. God surely has his hand on me- and most undeniably will not let me go.

Isaiah 6:13 But as a terebinth or oak tree leaves a stump when it is cut down, so Israel’s stump will be a holy seed

Job 14:7 For there is hope for a tree, if it be cut down, that it will sprout again, and that its shoots will not cease.

God is obviously on the move in my life. If he wasn't, I wouldn't feel so opposed, so challenged, so much like I am in a fight. And guess what, God is coming through and answering prayers. Dave is stepping up to lead, and I am so proud of him. We are attending a marriage workshop this weekend. It will be good. We started to do a devotional together every night. Being intentional.

I am going to start stepping up. Actually meeting with people, not isolating. I truly want to follow Jesus and what he wants is for me to take care of me. If I feed myself, then I will be able to feed others.

But I am needing to re-think a lot of things. And so I take this seed-stump of myself and press on, listening to the Story that God is telling me. It might inspire me, I might learn a lesson. I might grow.

Ready for what is next. Whatever that may be. Seeking beauty in brokenness, purpose in pain. I know I will never again go out on a tree branch to pull a fish out of water.

It is not I who saves, but Christ who saves. And oh, how he loves me! I can't even begin to explain. He forgives this silly monkey. He loves this silly monkey.

Today's reading with my considerations in []: Galatians 2: 18-21 "For if I rebuild what I tore down, I prove myself to be a transgressor. For through [works (or doing stuff)] the law I died to [works] the law, so that I might live to God. I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. I do not nullify the grace of God, for if righteousness were through [works] the law, then Christ died for no purpose."

It is not what I do that saves me. It is not fulfilling the law, it is not being a good Christian, it has nothing to do with that. It is only by faith in Christ. And if I insist on doing, saving, the law, works, rebuilding what I tore down, then I am a transgressor; ie an enemy, fighting against Christ. Opposing his saving grace. I need Jesus now more than ever. I need to look towards him, and away from me. I need to quit climbing on tree branches [doing] and start being.

I can get so caught up in doing, so wrapped up in serving that I lose sight of WHO I am serving. WHY I am serving. I so often forget that Jesus's grace is enough. I often forget to just cover myself in His perfect love and be.

So, thank you Dave Gibbons. I hope to continue to blog, or at least journal as I read the book. I am sure interested what nuggets of wisdom I will acquire in this reading.

Look Maggie, a Lemur!

I have always loved the Simpsons. One of my favorite episodes starts with Lisa showing pictures to Maggie, and there is one of a lemur. Then Bart comes in and gets poked on the arm and goes "Ow, quit it." I think this is when he got a tattoo. Anyways, I just loved the way that Lisa said "lemur." I love the sound of the word lemur. It rhymes with femur, but is much more funny. Plus, look at the lemurs, they are the goofiest looking things ever! I love their ringtails and pointy ears and masked face.

Lemurs have absolutely nothing to do with me right now, except that it just seems how funny life is. We have lots of homework to do, mostly Dave does. And Dave started 2 new jobs, and actually works 40 hours a week now, which means we hardly get to see each other not tired.

This whole thing is taking some getting used to.

And then the sun has been missing.

Well, it did come back today, which explains the change in my demeanor. I wonder if a lamp would actually help me? When would I use it? I have no desire to go to Alaska at all. The sun dissapears half a year, and hangs around too long the other half. I think I wouldn't make it. It is hard enough with Chicago weather!

I need to write an update email, lots have been mentioning they would like an update.

I got through my Christmas cards last night, just need to check a few more addresses, and buy stamps (the line was Ginormous last time) then I can send them out.

I miss my friends Paul and Pearl, I haven't seen them in a while, and I used to see them all the time, so I feel so funny without them.

Oh, and life as we know it, its about to change.

By the way, I bawled my eyes out during "Bolt." Really good movie, for a cartoon.

What a Turkey - Insane ramblings on the meaning of Thanksgiving

I have to apologize for my insanity of late. It seems that my emotions just overwhelm me at times. You see, its that time of the year. Time when we kill millions of turkeys off for a feast, get together with people we aren't normally around everyday, in fact some of whom we dread, and say we are thankful to God.

In America, Thanksgiving has become a holiday of celebrating our blessings by getting together with family and friends and then spend like a freak the next day. Its the official start of the Christmas (aka spending) season. Its a time when many folks gather in front of a tube to watch men tackle each other all day. Often, indulgence wins on this holiday, and holiday cheer turns into one too many beers. Leftovers become a challenge as to who can eat the most and make the most creative recipes. In all of this craziness, did you ever stop to wonder what this holiday is all about? Did you know that the word holiday came from "Holy Day" and that this day of indulgence was actually meant to be a Holy Day of reflection and celebration, giving thanks to God?

Thanksgiving occurred after the harvest, at a time when things were bountiful, and there was much to celebrate. It also helps to put on a winter layer of fat. It was a time to gather with your clan and give thanks to God. Now with all celebrations in the Bible, a special offering is given. This is the above and beyond your normal sacrificial giving, or above the tithe. It is given to the church, or should I say Church, and was used to glorify God and build up His Body.

Now if you watch Martha Stewart, you might come to the conclusion that it is used to glorify you and your home. Hosting a Thanksgiving is like boasting in your ability to provide, and showing your wealth off to your family. Why not go out and get a new couch before the family comes, because you wouldn't want them to ridicule the 5 year old one you have with that one stain from the juice your toddler spilled on it?

If you really want to honor God, do something different. Invite not just your family, but friends who have no place to go. The single mom from work who seems lonely, the nice guy who serves coffee and remembers your name, that one checker at the grocery store who won't crack a smile, but always remembers you, the recently divorced guy at the gym, those are the people that need to know they are loved. If your family judges your couch, they obviously don't care about you, and who you are. They obviously are not there to honor God and give thanks for how He has provided throughout the year.

The whole commercialization of holidays overall makes me sick.

If you don't give thanks to God, who do you give thanks to? If you only give thanks to God on Thanksgiving and when you just survived something horrible, why? Why not give thanks to God every day? Do you realize that God loves you just the way you are and wants so much more happiness and fulfillment for you? Do you realize that Jesus would have still been beaten and died on the cross if it was only for you? Do you realize that Jesus overcame death? Do you realize that it is because of Jesus you can have a relationship with God, an intimate relationship?

Thanks God, I wouldn't be where I am today without you. My shelter from the storm, my solid rock, my Redeemer, my Friend, my Lord, my God I love you.

Monday--I mean Tuesday Weigh-IN

Last weigh in weight: 239.9
Today's weight: 240.2
Total weight lost: 37.4 lbs.
Weight to lose to mini-goal: 15.2

Ruggy went home last night. Didn't get to say goodbye. I will miss him. I like the idea of a dog who will just lay down next to you. Abby won't. I don't think its possible for her. As a Jack Russell, she is doomed with doggy ADD. Laying still for her only happens when nobody else is doing anything.

The cat had just gotten used to the idea that Rugby would be staying here when he left. We hadn't seen her for a few days except for a few privileged cameo appearances for a nibble of food. She finally came out of her shell only to have Rugby leave. She is still happier that he is gone. So is Abby, because they don't have to compete for attention.

Okay, I will address the weight thing now. I am finding it hard to eat healthier. I indulged and ordered my quesadillas from Chili's and ate the whole plate. I should have packed up half, but no, I didn't. I knew I wouldn't. Dave's folks took us to Buffalo Wild Wings, I got the Buffalo Ranch Wrap, which is boneless fried chicken wings in sauce with ranch dressing, lettuce tomato and flour tortilla. I kept the chips and salsa, which is way better than buffalo chips, but stole like 5 or 6 of Dave's. That was Saturday. Then on Sunday we started off with Jimmy Johns, then at the concert, I had a hot dog and a slice of pizza. Then I had an entire enchilada plate at the taco place. I haven't been getting in my vegetables. (how do you do that at a ball park???) I haven't been eating my fruit even. I want smoothies, I bought frozen strawberries, but need ice and bananas. I shop tonight. Last night I ate Dave's leftover boneless chicken wings and nothing else. No veggies. I did eat a salad at work. With fat -free dressing.

What is stopping me? Me. Today Dave is picking up Portillo's for lunch. I ordered a beef with sweet peppers. Is it better than my two hot dog order, one with everything, one chili dog with?? Of course we will split the fries. I should eat some veggies first, so I don't over do it. I am ready to lose these next 15lbs, but I seem to be waiting at the bus stop. Its like saving money by not eating out... that's not happening here.

My car being in the shop, I have not been able to go to the gym yesterday or today, but I have bad sciatica from the concert on Sunday, so it might be good to rest -- or should I say not push it, until it chills out.

I did do one thing that has motivated me. I went and bought two new bras. It's like I have my boobs back. They were just hanging out, and now I feel like they are showing up and have shape. I went down quite a few sizes, so they are now properly supported. AND I got a "sports" bra as one of them. It was my godsend on Sunday as it kept the moisture off of my boobs. They were like the only thing dry on my body!

All day with Dave

Saturday was one of the longest days ever. It was also one of the bestest days ever. Dave and I started out at Brady Spring Family Fun Day, helping kids to make flowers by tracing their hands onto felt, cutting it out and then using pipe cleaners to put it all together. We even helped a few parents to do so. It was fun, but we don't want to see felt and pipe cleaners for a long time.

After running home to let out the dog and grab a bite, we headed to the Box. Dave got to run cameras for the service and I greeted with a smile, handing out our new Connection Cards. Dave and I got surprise gifts from our friend Deb! (Thanks Deb!)

What amazes me is how many friends Dave and I have made since coming to the church. It has been 2 years, and there are soooo many hugs to be had. They help me get through the week.

When our duties were done, Dave and I filed into the Icon Theatre for the closing showing of "Love Notes." See, we had a "date night" and this was our time. Yes, we had already been at the box for 4 hours, but the next two slipped by like nothing. We sat side by side, holding hands and laughing, holding hands and snuggling, all while being entertained by wonderful excerpts from different plays and musicals. What we really enjoyed was seeing the chemistry on stage of the married couples that we know. While they were playing characters, we saw their true love shining through. It made us glad inside.

Then we headed off to dinner at Texas Roadhouse. The Roadhouse has become one of our favorite restaurants. They have awesome steaks at very reasonable prices. Seeing as I am on WW now, I got the 6 oz sirloin, instead of the 12 oz ribeye. Dave still got the ribeye. They were delicious.

We hurried home to the joy of Abby who was disappointed we did not have a doggy bag. (Do you blame us? That was some good steak!) We watched a movie that my friend loaned me (like a month ago, sorry it took so long!) Finally we slept, and we slept hard. You would too after 5 hours sleep and a 17 hour day.

Today the sun is out. Thank you God for the sunshine!

I need to laugh.

Check out these hi-larious websites for silly kitty and silly doggy laughs.

You can even make your own and vote on others. Send me some via email! I would love it!

Weigh in BENCHMARK

DUDE!!!! The total weight loss for me has hit 20 lbs EXACTLY! After 6 weeks!

The weigh in was a loss of 2.2 lbs.

Abby has been going with me to WW meetings. Of course she stays in the car. This is not a picture of Abby, but very similar expression when I told her I lost another 2.2 lbs. (okay the expression was because I came back to the car, she could care less about weight loss)

I thought I did horribly. I thought I maybe put on a few lbs or didn't lose at all. The truth of the matter is a cheezy AA slogan, but it is so true:

"IT WORKS IF YOU WORK IT, SO WORK IT CUZ IT WORKS!" or something like that.

You know what I will be doing? Workin' it!

Sheep go to Heaven

You should check out this fun game online. Its free and easy to play. I just love anything with sheep, okay!

It is based on the story in Matthew 25 "When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his throne in heavenly glory. All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left."

Also, it features a fun song by Cake. Cake does the "I wanna girl with a short skirt and a long jacket" song that I love.

So you use the "S" key to choose salvation. Click on sheep to send them to heaven. Use the "D" key to choose damnation. Click on the goats to send them to hell. Try not to mess up, time is limited and the levels get more difficult.

Its a really fun waste of time. Enjoy

2007 Year in Review

Wow, just looking back on Blogger for my entries over the past year... I am amazed at two major points... I was sick an awful lot, and the fact that God has really been sculpting me this year, its so awesome to see it happen. Here are some highlights:

1. I got married. It was probably the best event ever in my life so far. Thanks to all my friends and family who made it happen. I have the best husband ever.

2. I went on my Honeymoon and finally got to see the Grand Canyon. I felt so tiny in comparison to that. Yet it was really comforting to know that God cares for me, despite my insignificance in the universe. Sedona was also super cool. It was an experience I won't ever forget. Thanks to Dave's folks for the plane tickets and the rides, and Dave's brother for the house. And thanks to all the friends and family for all the cash gifts at our wedding, we couldn't have enjoyed our honeymoon without your generosity.

3. I got to wear a suit at work. This is odd for a person who wears pajamas (scrubs.) I will be doing this again in '08!

4. I changed my schedule. God put it in my heart to do so, and so I have, and it has literally changed my life. I enjoy being a part of Celebrate the Journey EVERY Tuesday.

5. My cousin Tammy got married! I was a first time bridesmaid. It was a fun wedding, Tammy glowed! Oh and I like her husband too! I will miss them when they move to Indy in the early spring.

6. Mom was laid to rest. On the one year anniversary of her passing (07-07-07) we scattered her ashes into Lake Michigan, and then went swimming! It was so awesome, and freeing. I love you Mom, see you when I get there.

7. Ignite Chicago! I got to see my two favoritest bands in concert! Tree 63 and David Crowder! It was fun, and my sister adopted a child.

8. Babies! A good friend announced that she was pregnant. Also several people at work are also pregnant, or were and now have babies!

9. I gave in and joined Facebook. Be my friend, I need more people to poke, bite, and bomb.

10. The great remodel. We moved into Dad's house for 6 weeks and lets just say I am so glad to be home, so much so we vacationed here.

11. Abby tore a cruciate ligament in her knee, she now limps.

12. We moved back in the house, then had a small fire, lived in a motel for 9 days. Yeah, its was fun, not! Praise God that its all good now.

13. I won the most likely to star in her own reality TV show at work. Funny, my life IS like a reality show.

14. Miss Daisy Mae joined Muffi and Georgie and several others in Doggie Heaven. She was a good dog. She is missed.

15. I gave my testimony. Me, I got up on stage and told intimate details of my life to friends and strangers. It was one of the most freeing experiences of my life, and I did a good job.

16. The thing we haven't made public yet. No, I am not pregnant, but intimate friends know whats up. I pray for a peaceful resolution in '08. I know its redundant putting up something I cannot tell you, but lets just say it is that big and affects me that much.

17. The spare room is occupied. Pray that our friend Paul is able to get on his feet soon.

Happy Old Year to all of you. I have grown more than I could ever imagine, and I have to give God all the glory.

Here's to an even better New Year....

Rest in peace Daisy Mae

Yesterday Daisy left this earth and went to heaven. She was a good dog. I will .... I do miss her. She had a heart of gold and was the cuddliest dog I have ever known. She was so good to my mom when my mom was sick. She was Dave's "girlfriend" because she loved him so much and was sooo excited to see him.

See you in Heaven Daisy Mae. I love you.

Free food! Free food!

Yesterday was a great day. Despite my 16 hour work day and 4 hour sleep, I really enjoyed getting up and going to my aunt's house for Thanksgiving.

First of all, props to the Turkey, it was the bestest bird ever. So juicy and tender and delicious! Tammy made this yummy peanut butter sweet potato recipe, which was good if you like peanut buttery stuff. I myself am not a fan, but still enjoyed the potato dish. Also had butternut squash, mashed potatoes, corn, two types of stuffing (both great), biscuits and I just about ate two stomachs worth.

Did you know Mike Ditka makes wine? Well, it was good, and we had a great SNL moment to go along with it.

I also have to give mad props to my sister who has lost like 40 lbs and is looking svelt. I have always thought that my sister was the prettiest ever, and now she just shines. Embarrassing my little sister is what I do best, cuz I love her!

I just had one of the bestest Thanksgivings ever, I have lots to be thankful for. Dave and I had a great night. Thanks so much to my aunt and uncle for hosting, and my cousins and sister for helping cook. And Tottie for being cute.

Now today we go to my dad's for ham. I hope I still can eat! MMMM ham. Yeah, I think I can still eat!

We are HOME!!!

Yes we are home! Internet, our own bed, and sleeping in on Sunday! Phoebe and Abby seem to be the happiest! They know we are home, and love it! They curl up and snuggle in bed with us, making us not want to get out of bed.

Looking forward to our blinds arriving, that means no more fishbowl feelings.

Patience is truly a virtue. The washer and dryer are not installed yet, and they sit in the living room. There are tons of boxes yet to unpack. I better get going.

Thanks God for providing through our hard times. We couldn't do it without you...

Unpacking

Yesterday Dave and Jola brought all of the boxes upstairs. Today Dave and I began to tackle the boxes. The Bears lost.

We are home.

The dog and the cat finally figured it out, and the more we unpack, the better they feel. Abby is still very clingy, and I woke up with both the pets in bed. Eventually they will settle down and maybe so will we.

Thanks to my aunt Robin and uncle Ray for the awesomest home cooked dinner tonight! I love you guys!

Anyone want to clean my kitchen?

So, what's up?

It looks like we will be moving in this week. (Pray, cross your fingers and knock on wood.) Dave will be working on getting the house ready today.

I am still coughing and blowing my nose, but getting better. Slowly but... surely.

Daisy is not doing too well, and she spent a day in the hospital due to low blood sugar and seizures. She is still tired and needs lots of rest. She has not been using her right back leg, which concerns us. Abby is still limping, but not as bad. Rugby and Phoebe are doing well and causing lots of trouble as usual.

My buddy Neo is settled in up in the Great North (Canada) and I posted his link up on the blog again today. Apparently the squirrels eat out of his hands up there.

Dave and I are looking forward to a trip to the circus in early November with our nieces. We miss our little darlings very much, and it should be lots of fun. Hopefully they will have lots of hugs for me, because I have a lot of hugs for them.

I looked out the window this morning, it was sunny... but raining leaves. This is when I thank God that I don't have to rake. :)

JUST WHAT IS HE DOING?

You might have gotten this picture in your email recently. Apparently this guy in Canada started freaking out when he saw a polar bear approach his sled dogs. Turns out the bear just wanted to play, and he came back every day that week to do so.

Isn't that just like God? We get scared because we don't know his intentions. We don't want to let Him come to show us love. Yeah, its a scary thing. God is huge, I mean inconceivable, how could the Creator not be?

Be open to what God is doing in your life now. I am trying so hard to do the same for myself. These are just some of the things I want to let God help me understand:

1. How come I keep getting sick after being sick?
2. Why did you want us to stay at my Dad's for so long?
3. What is next for us? Are we meant to have kids?

God, help me to understand your will. I know you have better plans for me than I could have myself. Help me to accept them and live in your Amazing Grace, don't let me hide from your love.

What is the deal?

I have had a really bad month. I have had food poisoning, a bladder infection, and now (yet another) head cold.

I found myself having a hard time singing in church yesterday,then at work my sinuses just drained straight down my throat, leaving me feeling miserable. I did not sleep well last night, and am unsure of my condition today. All I know is my throat is scratchy and swollen. I don't like this.

Good news is that we can start moving back into our home soon. How soon? As soon as we have the time to do so. We need to move some furniture back into place, do some cleaning, then we can start with the stuff. I want my own bed back.

At least I have many cuddly dogs here, and even the cat was cuddly when I got up at 6am to empty my bladder.

Pray for me, please.

Nausea, fever, and body aches

... are the only symptoms I am going to mention on my blog to spare you. I have been sick.

Of course it hits me on my day off. I work hard all week for my day off, and I had to spend it aching and sick on the couch. I am still weak and dizzy and my stomach is not back to normal. So I called in sick to work... and this will count as my first call in for you who keep track.

The dogs were really great company, especially Daisy. She is just so calm, she curls up and snores on me. Rugby and Abby and Phoebe also contributed to comforting me yesterday.

I was really upset, because I missed group. I am hoping to still get the group newsletter out with the prayer requests.

By the way, I will not be eating a Ruben anytime soon.

Abby update

I never realized how quiet life is without Abby. I was so lonely yesterday when I got up and she wasn't there.

Her vet visit went well, she was a good girl. She now has a shaved spot on her right front leg where they did her IV. Her hips look perfect, but her knee is a bit messed up, soft tissue wise. Doc thinks its her cruciate ligament. Wants us to do consults. We may be able to fix her up without surgery! YAY!

Pray for my doggie's knee to heal, so we don't have to do surgery.

But Shelley, its just a dog! No way! This is Dave and my baby girl. We love her like a daughter. Don't you dare tell me not to love her!

Oh and a praise! The Frontline is working! My dog is no longer a fleabag!