Saturday was near disastrous for me. I was scared, I had looked at my future and took no consideration to my past. In other words, I was trying to plan ahead of God. All too often I tend to put the cart before the horse. Here I go, acting like Peter, I took my eyes off my Jesus and noticed the storm... and nearly drown.
I cried all the way to church. Dave was already there, and of course I was running late. Too late for the first service. Wearing my sunglasses and trying to ignore the people who wanted to greet me with love, I ran upstairs to the prayer room. I got down on my knees, burying myself into the soft cushion of the chair and cried, I cried hard. I cried out to God. I prayed, sat down on the floor to journal, pulling out a framed verse of scripture for inspiration. Proverbs 3:5, Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. Then the Bible called to me. I looked where it was open to... Acts, no, not where God wants me to read. I looked at the two ribbon places. Somehow I ended up in Exodus, even though I have been reading it at home, it called to me here. 14:14 "The Lord himself will fight for you. Just stay calm.”
I gained peace and headed downstairs. Lots of people were there who wanted to say hi to me, who love me. Its all still quite fuzzy, but I remember moments of clarity. Pearl and Gigi, and then Shawn. Scott and Rich, Preston all needed to say hi. I got myself a frozen hot chocolate, and ended up having a conversation with Eric in front of the fireplace. I keep forgetting how he baptized me, and how we are quite similar. Every time we talk, I get a nugget of wisdom from him, confirmation of the Lord's word. He doesn't know me very well, but he knows my passion for leadership, and it helped us connect.
Service lets out, and there are tons of people to meet and greet. Robin came and told me how she reads my blog, and she loves it. It felt so awesome to know. I also remembered how far back her and I had gone, and how far both of us had come in that moment. How proud I am of her, and glad we still run into each other every once and a while. Her smile and hug and words were precious to me. Mike and Kimberly prayed with me, and it rocked.
I waited in anxious anticipation for Troy and Janet to be free. You see, they were up visiting from KC, and I have been following and supporting their church plant. I forgot I was actually wearing the Restore t-shirt under my hoodie. I was crying in happiness and sadness, trying to hold back tears, waiting to tell them how proud of them I was. Janet had words for me that made me remember why I do love her so much, she is a woman so close to God's heart, and oh how it blesses me.
I went into service, and saw Kathy, she is another awesome woman. Beth came and sat by me. I was surrounded by love, and then Shawn Williams came up and talked about Jesus. The service was written just for me. The moments of worship were just for me. I cried during Hosanna, (Lord save us we pray, I need a savior. Thanks to Bublitz for being a great leader and to Carrie for having the voice of an angel.) I can't help it if David Crowder songs always get me, but they do because they get me. They go deep into me with their words and intelligence and meaning. from wherever spring arrives, to heal the ground. from wherever searching comes the look itself, a taste of what we're looking for, so be quiet now, and wait. I left service with peace in my heart.
Dave told me later that he had TJ checking on me from his eye in the sky position. How romantic. We had a great evening downtown Naperville, good date night. You don't need details, except Ted's Montana Grill is a great place to get us a gift certificate if you need to know that.
Sunday we slept in. I woke up with sunshine and joy in my heart. Small group rocked, then we headed to the box to CONTRIBUTE by doing what I call "last impressions," tearing down the gym. It felt good to serve, I pumped up the iPod, danced and worshiped while stacking chairs. You should try it, really it's fun. Ask Dave, he's on the set-up/tear-down committee, he can hook you up. We went to dinner and then thanks to Dock, a haunted house. (www.hotelmassacre.com if you like those sort of things)
Today I was not going to post my weigh in. I was just going to say fu-git-a-but-it. Then I open my e-mail.
Hi Shelley!
Thought I'd get a VERY early jump on things this week. No change in my weight, but I guess that's a really good thing considering we had a tailgate this weekend! Of course, I still have a bit of that sinus cold which is making me not so hungry, but also preventing me from working out. So here's the stats:
Last week: 157lbs.
This week: 157 lbs.
Total weight lost: 36 lbs.
I'm making a mini goal at 153 lbs, for a total of 40 lbs lost. If I maintain at that, I'll be pretty happy. If I lose a little more (say 10 pounds more), hooray for me and I'll be the same weight I was in high school. But, for now, I'm happy fitting in the same pants/dress size!
Hope your week was at least as good as mine, if not better! Keep it up! I know you have A LOT of other things going on and it's hard to think about yourself. BUT, you can't possibly be happy with the world around you, if you are not taking care of yourself, so keep that in mind. Be good to your body and mind :) Remember, working out relieves stress too, so it's a good reason to go to the gym!
Love,
Tammy
That is when I realized that I am not supposed to give up. Nothing, nothing at all. God hasn't given up, my friends and family have not given up, so why should I? I should not give up on anything. Not the littlest thing. So I screwed up, so I doubted myself, my God, my cause, my ability...
Today I woke up, started walking to the bathroom and tripped on my pajama pants. I fell into the wall and sink. I got up, I iced my shoulder, picked up the stuff I knocked off the corner, and went on. I have a sore shoulder, and a broken plastic cup (I don't know how that happened) but I am okay. I got up and did my thing. I was clutzy, I fell, but I got back up again.
Last weigh-in weight: 245.5Today's weight: 247.4This weeks loss/gain: +1.9Total weight lost: 30.3Weight to lose to mini-goal(240): 7.4
Realistic goal: get to the gym twice this week. That's it. Step by step, one day at a time.
The Lord himself will fight for you. Just stay calm
Saturday was one of the longest days ever. It was also one of the bestest days ever. Dave and I started out at Brady Spring Family Fun Day, helping kids to make flowers by tracing their hands onto felt, cutting it out and then using pipe cleaners to put it all together. We even helped a few parents to do so. It was fun, but we don't want to see felt and pipe cleaners for a long time.
After running home to let out the dog and grab a bite, we headed to the Box. Dave got to run cameras for the service and I greeted with a smile, handing out our new Connection Cards. Dave and I got surprise gifts from our friend Deb! (Thanks Deb!)
What amazes me is how many friends Dave and I have made since coming to the church. It has been 2 years, and there are soooo many hugs to be had. They help me get through the week.
When our duties were done, Dave and I filed into the Icon Theatre for the closing showing of "Love Notes." See, we had a "date night" and this was our time. Yes, we had already been at the box for 4 hours, but the next two slipped by like nothing. We sat side by side, holding hands and laughing, holding hands and snuggling, all while being entertained by wonderful excerpts from different plays and musicals. What we really enjoyed was seeing the chemistry on stage of the married couples that we know. While they were playing characters, we saw their true love shining through. It made us glad inside.
Then we headed off to dinner at Texas Roadhouse. The Roadhouse has become one of our favorite restaurants. They have awesome steaks at very reasonable prices. Seeing as I am on WW now, I got the 6 oz sirloin, instead of the 12 oz ribeye. Dave still got the ribeye. They were delicious.
We hurried home to the joy of Abby who was disappointed we did not have a doggy bag. (Do you blame us? That was some good steak!) We watched a movie that my friend loaned me (like a month ago, sorry it took so long!) Finally we slept, and we slept hard. You would too after 5 hours sleep and a 17 hour day.
Today the sun is out. Thank you God for the sunshine!
Well, while this is not my pets, they look similar. Too cute.
Dave and I are enjoying our vacation. Yesterday we got to visit some seniors that Dave knows from work, and it was great to spend some time getting to know them. We also spent some time volunteering at church (I stuffed programs, and Dave helped Lupe). I had an MRI of my bad ankle (finally) and we stayed up late watching Live Free or Die Hard. Dave also took me out to dinner at our favorite restaurant, BD's Mongolian BBQ! He got us a pair of gigantic Mongo Mugs to stuff our stockings. (Okay, the likelyhood they will ever touch a stocking is low, but its the idea...)
Wednesday, we bared the deep fog to visit some good friends of ours out in Sycamore. Driving down 88 is scary when you can only see two car lengths in front of you! Hector and Michelle served us a terrific dinner (thanks!) and we got to kick some butt playing Skip-Bo with them. Their baby boy is growing up sooooo fast!
Today we are hoping that the weather will accommodate us to drive around to see Christmas lights. We are also going to do some more movie watching and generally be lazy today. I made some killer grilled beef and cheese burritos for lunch!
Some people are amazed that Dave and I still volunteered while on vacation. The truth is, we would rather volunteer than work, but money is a necessity. We really find peace and happiness in giving ourselves.
Oh, and I never thought I would love kissing old people so much, but they love it! You know, the nice quick peck on the cheek.... it means so much to be able to bring them a moment of joy. It amazes me how they remember my name, I am so bad with names. Hopefully, that is something that gets better with age.
Hey, summer is nuts! I end up logging on, checking email, poking or tattooing my friends on Facebook, reading blogs then saying "oh snap! what time is it?"
Thus explains my lack of blogs this week.
Yesterday was a wonderfully productive day. I had a lunch date with my husband in which we ate at Quigley's Irish Pub in Naperville, followed by perusing at Restoration Hardware and Pottery Barn. Not to mention Barnes and Nobles, which could eat my entire day up. After I dropped him back off at work, I headed to Menards, (which I say like Mainerds) and found my matching ceiling fan and ceiling light to install. I also picked out lightbulbs and got overwhelmed at the amount of tile selections.
After a wonderful evening at Celebrate the Journey at CCC, I headed over to Home Depot and found a bunch of stuff for my bathroom; faucets, a fancy schmancy curved shower pole, matching do-dads for toilet paper holding and towel holding, also the shower curtain hooks match. For those who have curious minds, I decided to go with brushed nickel finish.
I am starting to get really psyched for my remodel. One bid is in, and I am STILL waiting on another... (gee don't sway me at all by being late...) I think I have picked out my new doorknobs and some other stuff. Don't worry, I already have to return something, the towel bar is too long, I am just gonna go with hooks instead.
N E way... oh shap! What time is it?
Tuesday was my last night off as a single woman. Dave and I decided to make it our last single date night. Not too crazy considering we are marrying each other, but it was! Not to sound silly, but Dave and I felt almost like we were on a "first" date.
We started out by running errands for the wedding, this was not part of our official date, but in a way it was. We stopped by the post office, it was closed in honor of Gerald Ford. 20 people must have come in, looked confused and left while I was in line to buy stamps at the machine. How is the world supposed to know? It was not even posted until you came inside the building?!?! We then headed to the salon to get his hair cut, and I lined up someone to do my hair (my previous arrangement fell through.) Without boring you, it was kind of neat to be at a salon with my future husband. Guys aren't much for getting their hair done, well at least Dave isn't. But we built repiore by enjoying some time together in a new place doing a new thing. Dave got to see me get highlights in my hair, tinfoil, head under the dryer and all. Who does that on a first date?
We then went home to get ready, I did my makeup etc. Then we headed out to the site of our first date: BD's Mongolian BBQ downtown Naperville. On the ride down I did the same thing I did our first date, head the wrong way by mistake (I did not intend to.) Dave tried to talk about his nieces and nephew like he did on our first date. The wait was 45 minutes! We walked around downtown and then sat at the bar and had a drink. It ended up working out well, because by the time we ate, the line was short to get our stir fry grilled. On the walk back to the car, Dave and I talked. We decided we would rather have one of today's date than one million of our first dates.
We then decided to drive around Naperville and check out the chapel where we are gonna get married. It is beautiful at night. The stars and moon shone in all of God's glory. We also found that Naperville accidentally built our wedding cake down by the riverwalk. We should talk to someone about why they wrote 175 on the cake... The rest of the date was spent watching a movie at AMC Cantera 30. It was a good movie, could have been a bit shorter. Not enough action for the time. The Good Shepherd was directed by DeNiro and starred Matt Damon. We left glad we did not work for the CIA.
So, I end my single life glad for this: I am marrying the man I love on Sunday.
Saturday was near disastrous for me. I was scared, I had looked at my future and took no consideration to my past. In other words, I was trying to plan ahead of God. All too often I tend to put the cart before the horse. Here I go, acting like Peter, I took my eyes off my Jesus and noticed the storm... and nearly drown.
