Proceed as if

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11)

Some people might think I am nuts when I say I have heard from the Lord.  I truly believe that God has told me to pursue custody of Jeramy, and we won.  It was a long hard battle.  We got rainbows and songs on the radio and words of encouragement and truth when we needed, and we hobbled along.  Oh how I leaned on Isaiah.  It was more like God carried us.

Which is how it has been today.  The impossible is now possible.  We proceeded as if ... and it did.  God came through in a big way.  We applied for the apartment knowing that we couldn't come up with the money on our own.  God provided.

We will be a family, together.  Will will be away from abuse and fear.  We will have shelter.

And I won't take this lightly.  I plan on using this home the way God wants me to. As a family we are going to be intentional ambassadors to the community, and to invite people into our home, and into our lives.  It won't be easy, but its bound to be fun, and its certain to be good.

I feel like our family has a chance at our future.  Its all happening, and its all God.  I acted in faith and He met me.  I am floored.  Thanks Lord, words seem insufficient. You rock!

The Lord is at hand

When certain things happen, you know someone is behind it, right? That certain smell of your favorite dish can only mean that someone special is cooking it.  I really don't think I am just being handed a line of hooey when I tell you that God is working hard in my life right now, and I can tell.  The Lord is at hand.  He always has been, but its as if I didn't have a receiver installed properly.

I was reading Bonhoffer and he was extrapolating about discipleship, and being called.  There is always an act of faith that changes you from who you were into who you are that leads to following Jesus.  In other words, you are totally changed if you say yes to physically following God.  I read it out to myself, and I went downstairs and read it to Dave.  We are being called, we have been called, and our going and stepping out in faith will only be rewarded by God meeting us there, and changing us completely.

Today in church we heard about being a new creation.  The world and my inner voice tell me I am worthless but that is not what God says.  He says I am a beautiful creation, and serve a very good purpose.  He has me where I am for a reason, and its not always easy, but its easy to see.  I am a sent ambassador of the Lord, Creator of Heaven and Earth.  Its really a fantastic honor.  Funny thing is, I have been thinking about living intentionally like this for a while, and its just today that it gets mentioned in a sermon so plain as day.

This thread is present in the Bible, in my heart by the Holy Spirit, and in the core nature of those who follow Christ to be an ambassador.  It defines Christianity.  Unfortunately, many Christians act more like tourists than ambassadors.  Some even give the cheif a bad name by their actions.  Do that not realize that they are a personal representative of the Most High God? 

Don't worry, I forget sometimes too.  I forget a lot.

I want to change.  I want to be a butterfly, not a caterpillar, and definitely not stuck in this ratty ole cocoon. 

So here is yet another physical milestone approaching, and we move.  We move without assurance we can afford to, but with knowledge that God said he would provide.  He is doing so, we just get so overwhelmed as bills fall behind and debt piles up.  And the Lord is at hand when I walk into church, telling me "its gonna be alright!" and then launching into just what he has put in my heart.  Just to remind me.

God says, "Shelley, get your eyes off the storm and onto me.  I won't let you drown.  Take my hand, easy now, its going to be alright.  We've got some work cut out for us, I can't wait to get started."

Yep, that's my Jesus.  Yep he's got a robe and sandals, but he is the most awesome man I know.  He defeated death and conquered the grave - just so that we could have a relationship and I could know Him more!  I love how he romances me.  Have no fear, the Lord is at hand.

Giving up the goat

I have had a lot of things to lose recently.  Things I need to get rid of and leave behind me, things that need to be consumed in the fire.  Pride is of course the first thing I struggled with.  Its funny how you can think you don't suffer from pride, until that becomes your pride.  I was prideful, and as you know, pride comes before the fall.  Oh, I tripped right on that pride.  I had many things to be prideful of, and one by one, I had to look them in the face and watch them slip away.

My job, my home, my husband's job, my security, my provision, my power, my plans, my ideas, my strength, my, my my. 

I have been surrounded instead by His power, His grace, His provision, His security, His shelter, His love, His strength, His plans.

When I think about how stubborn I truly was I thought of the phrase "giving up the goat" and so I googled it.  Turns out that phrase is incorrect, a misquote of "giving up the ghost" meaning: to die.  Hmmph.  Yes, that's exactly what this is.  Its putting myself on that cross, dying to myself, and putting Him on the throne.  Oh, and being incorrect about it for a long time.

I was so stubborn, it took 30 years before I let Jesus deep into my heart.  Then it took me another 4 before I truly got it.  Want to know how I got it?  He took it all away.  Now, this is not something that I wasn't warned about, and a lot of it was in choices I made, jumping ahead of the game and following my will instead of his.  Where I am is a combination of my will fighting against God's will, and Him making all things work together for my good.  It is truly a process.

Perhaps the biggest lie that the devil could convince a Christian is that being a Christian makes life easy.  Jesus is the answer, yes, but the right answer is never easy.  There is no magic pill that makes me look like Christie Brinkley.  There is no money tree that gives me everything I want.

What I have found is that God provides what I need, and I cannot ask for more.  Sometimes I can't see how, and I have no hope, and at the last minute he comes through.  All things I need appear at just the right time, much like when Abraham brought Isaac up the mountain.  Surely a ram was provided sparing the boy from his death, and perhaps this is the goat we must give up.  If we give up this goat, we save ourselves from certain death.

I trust you God.  Help me with my untrust.

We'll leave the light on - shining some insight in Luke 8

If you are reading this on Facebook, type in the verses in Bible Gateway to read along, or grab your Bible.  Or you can go to my original post and click the links in there to read the Bible passages along with the blog.  Its pretty deep, and if you want to understand it, you should read the Bible along with this post... Thanks.  

Continuing my journey through Luke 8 I will look at verses 16-18. 

No one lights a lamp and hides it in a jar or puts it under a bed.  Not unless you are creating some sort of lighting effect.

Motel 6 leaves a light on for me. I think of that old commercial where Motel six sounds like a place where families stay for the night when taking long drives.  We keep the light on, we welcome you even after dark.  It's never too late to come over.  In my town, you have to put on your porch light to indicate its okay to trick-or-treat at the house.  A light left out is a welcome sign, a beacon for safety.

I love how this follows the parable of the sower, because Jesus just explains to them all about seeds being the word of God, or the gospel, and then says, by the way, you don't light a lamp unless you plan to put it out for all to see.  I often confuse this verse with the one about being salt and light, I can't separate the two in my head, so this exercise has been good.

This to me takes on so many levels... first and easiest is the prophetic of Jesus being hung naked on a cross for all to see, the judgment of the Kingdom, etc.  Lots of people comment on it, get a good study Bible, its easy to find.  The next is the personal level.  See, this plant- being me- the Christian who has been working her soil etc, has to be this lamp.  I can't hide or I do no good whatsoever.  I am laid out, open.  Everything.  First and foremost to God, secondly to the world.  I am to be a welcome lamp, inviting others in.  I am to be shining, and bright.  This doesn't mean I need to go platinum blonde and get my teeth bleached.  This does mean I need to be transparent, held accountable to my actions, and represent the Kingdom.  I need to be out in the world, welcoming others in, not hiding in my safe little world with christianese language and condemning others. Its why I blog openly, and Facebook openly and know that it really matters little what people think of me, as long as I help them get just a little bit closer to God then before.

I think these verses contain within them the very gospel themselves and the very doctrine in which to live our lives.  I know it sounds crazy, and I am not a Bible scholar, but I really don't think God intended for us to become Christians and then stop playing with others.  Yes, we do need love and support from other Christians, but by no means are we to stop loving people who have yet to find their way.

Jesus warns us to listen carefully here: "Whoever has will be given more; whoever does not have, even what he thinks he has will be taken from him."  This means so much and yet so little.  Yet I get it.  I hope to anyway.  What is this that Jesus refers to us having or being taken from us? 

See, I think in parables.  I get it now.  I never got it really before, but I think in big concepts that are gigantic metaphors and tell stories.  Its how I understand life.  It is how I live.  To me, I get what Jesus says.

Because I thought I had, and what I thought I had was taken away.  Isaiah 6:9-13 nails it on the head for me. I was stubborn, and had to be reduced to a stump to become a holy seed.  My heart was calloused, and now I have naught but a stump to start from.  But I have that stump, and the stump will be a holy seed.

I had to be laid to waste and ruin to be free from all the things that were keeping my light from shining, my tree from growing.

I think I had to be cut down to size and then cut down again.  And God will keep doing it as long as I think I have.  You know why?  I don't have a thing.  I am nothing without my Holy God. All my righteous acts are nothing but filthy rags compared to the light of God.  Without Him, I am lost.  Without Jesus I have no hope.  God owns it all, and it is all His doing, the Holy Spirit's work, and none of my own.  So when I think I have stuff, God is gonna take it all away.  I only truly have when I cling to my Savior, my Liberating King.  For He provides all I need.

Thanks Renata for challenging me to this, as I have learned more about myself and my God this week from the same verse I have read over and over again that I ever have before.  And thanks Bill Hybels whom she stole the idea from.  And thanks Holy Spirit for being the origin of these ideas, and our motivation to follow them.  Continue working in me, sanctifying me Jesus.  Amen.

Feeling pursued, in a good way

God for certain has been after my heart.  I cannot deny this.  What he seeks is nothing but the best for me, and I need to give up all of my ideas of what that means.  I need to cast aside any image I may hold of my Lord and let him show me his face.

Oswald Chambers My Utmost for His Highest has been a fantastic journey doing just that.  Well for me it has anyway.  I have been doing something crazy in that I have been picking it up and reading it every day.  Nearly every day this devotional speaks directly to where I am exactly on my spiritual journey. 

The last few days have really gotten to me. What do you want, what you will get, and the graciousness of uncertainty were the titles.  Essentially I have learned that I need to seek God, and his will to find peace, when I give God my life, he gives it back to me, and we need not be certain of what is going to happen, only certain of God.

My dear inspiration, Janet McMahon titled her blog "Losing Life" and ever since then I have been contemplating what it means that you need to lose your life in order to find it.  Its kind of funny how God works like that.  I lost my "life" or at least my expectations, desires and designs from my own doings.  I sit here in my dad's basement unemployed and unsure what life will bring me, but yet I have an odd sense of peace filling me.  It can only be the Holy Spirit.

Honestly, I feel like God has wiped my slate clean so that he can give my life back to me.  And I mean by this the life that is truly life.  I mean by this the life that God intended for me.  I mean fixing the past, healing old wounds, and starting out on the path that he intends for me, not the one that I intended for me.

God wants me to stop reading the novel, and start living it.

I feel much like I am a child on the day before Christmas, filled with anticipation for what Santa left under the tree. I am filled with expectation and excitement, wondering what it is that God has planned for me.  What's next Abba?  Where are we going together Lord?

And right now, being filled with that very expectation is just what God wants for me.  The journey is filled with joy and discovery and adventure, and my God, He is so good.  Truly I tell you that I have everything I could ever need right now.

My pride was chewed, swallowed, digested, and flushed.  Now I value things that I cannot lose.  My God meets me there, and I am so grateful.  He chases me onward, upward, toward righteousness and healing. 

Yeah, there is stress, but it doesn't rule me.  Peace rules.  Jesus rules.

Another allegory

In agriculture and gardening, transplanting is the technique of moving a plant from one location to another. Most often this takes the form of starting a plant from seed in optimal conditions, such as in a greenhouse or protected nursery bed, then replanting it in another, usually outdoor, growing location. Botanical transplants are used infrequently and carefully because they carry with them a significant risk of killing the plant.

Transplanting has a variety of applications, including:

• extending the growing season by starting plants indoors, before outdoor conditions are favorable;
• protecting young plants from diseases and pests until they are sufficiently established
• avoiding germination problems by setting out seedlings instead of direct seeding.

Different species and varieties react differently to transplanting; for some, it is not recommended. In all cases, avoiding transplant shock is the principal concern. Plants raised in protected conditions usually need a period of acclimatization, known as hardening off. Also, root disturbance should be minimized. The stage of growth at which transplanting takes place, the weather conditions during transplanting, and treatment immediately after transplanting are other important factors.

What this article doesn't say is that some plants will not grow if they cannot be transplanted. You ever see sheets of plants from the plant store that wither and die? They never got a new home. They outgrew their little plastic containers, they ate up all of their nutrients.

Sometimes when you feel like you are floating in the middle of nowhere, perhaps God has pulled you out of your dinky pot for a reason. Perhaps he is going to be planting you in better soil, in a bigger container...

God wants you to grow, God wants you to produce, and He knows you can't do that where you are. Yes, it is scary... Trust that the Master Gardener knows what He is doing, allowing you to grow and bear more fruit.

This was just the beginning

When Dave and I married on January 7, it was only the beginning of a great adventure. See, we were originally going to wait until October 13, as in a few weeks ago October. Now, life has been hectic, so I haven't had the chance to really blog on it, but I am soooooo glad we didn't wait.

After our meeting with Pastor Troy, we both felt unsettled. I would like to thank the Holy Spirit for urging us forward. Our life has been filled with so many blessings (yes, I mean it despite all the drama) that I would not have done it any other way. Dave and I have grown so much closer to God and to each other, and waiting to get married would not have let that happen.

We have become deeply involved in our church, a part of a community that rarely exists anymore. We have become deeply involved in each other, with a commitment and passion that exceeds anything beyond my previous expectations. I didn't know that I would ever be this truly happy in my entire life. I have to give one guy the credit here... GOD! See, if Dave and I hadn't based our relationship and our individual lives around God, we would not be seeing such wonderful things in our lives.

But Shelley, you say, you guys have had nothing but turmoil, your mom died, your dad remarried, you've been sick a million times, a remodel, a house fire, one thing after another and you say you are happy? YES. Although JOY seems to be a better word. Happy is an emotion, joy is something deeper, something inside of me. A deep inner peace. It is through these trials that we have learned to lean on God, and God has totally provided.

We stand on the edge of a new era in our lives, something major is about to happen. The funny thing is, although I am scared, I am not frightened. New things are always scary, but I just know that it is gonna work out. It always does, and I trust that what God has planned for me is way better than anything I could conceive in my tiny little head. Romans 8:28 says "And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them."

My last Wednesday off

I finally spent my last Tuesday at work yesterday. Now I will spend my last Wednesday off. This means saying goodbye to my friends at Alpha. Dave will continue to go, that is his thing, and he is an apprentice there. I am choosing to get more involved on Tuesdays at Celebrate the Journey. This is going to mean I end up working 6 days in a row, but it will be worth it. Help me remember that on Mondays at 10 pm when I am aching to go home. Oh yeah, that is what Tuesdays are for. Also, come the fall, I will be able to get more involved with Brady Book Club.

I am making changes in my life because I feel that God wants me to. He wants me to be all these things that I can be, not what the world says I cannot be. I am not sure what the future will hold, but I know that it will be good because God is good. The Lord is my Shepard, and he will not lead me off a cliff into my eternal doom. If I stay in His light, I will never get lost. I am trying to live my life for God first, my family second, my friends third, and I don't think that work is on that list.

Work is just a tool to help me get things done. That is my new point of view, and I like it. It really takes stress off. While I am there, I am there for my patients, not for "the man" or the money. That is really hard to say, because money causes a lot of stress in our lives, but here is where trusting God comes in. If I am good at my job, I will get paid and so will the bills. God will make sure I get taken care of. I always asked for "enough" and that is all I need. I want enough food to eat, enough to pay the bills, enough gas to get to work and do what God wants (and I want) me to do. I do not need more than I can handle, more money to tempt me to spend, more bills, etc.

So I better get off the computer so I can enjoy my day off, enough of this already!

Updates on prayer week

So far, I have spent a lot of time praying to God to thank him, admiring his holiness and sacrifice in Christ. Not too many details to share other than the psalm you already read earlier. Thursday, I prayed for others as my main focus. I want to be a blessing onto others, and share my faith. I also took the opportunity to get in touch with people I haven't talked to for a while.

Maybe this story will help you. I have been wanting to get every Tuesday off at work, and long story short I was going to have to drop a day to do it. Today, God totally answered my prayers. A co-worker came up to me and asked me about switching days off! Thank you God! This means I don't have to give up ten percent of my income. This is great because money is really tight. It almost seems that even before I pray for what is NEXT, God is answering my prayers! Not to mention, it looks like Dave will be able to get more hours soon (longer story there, just proves God makes good out of bad things.) God provides!

So Friday I will be praying specifically for me. What is next with me and God, me and the church, and me and the world. (Using the guide I previously mentioned.) If you are looking for something more intensive, check this out, (kudos to Atropica for pointing it out on his blog) it will help you reach a quiet place to talk to God and pray.

In the meantime, be a blessing to someone. Tell them you love them, or just open the door for them. Help make this world a better place. Prayer doesn't hurt either...

Hangin in there

8 days to go! The countdown continues. Dave and I are hanging in there. That is me on top, trying to keep Dave from jumping (notice his eyes are open, he is on guard). We had another groomsman drop out, but have worked out the details. I have not yet updated our "The Knot" web page yet, so hang in there with us.

We got in touch with all our major vendors to let them know about the lineup change, and everything seems to be cool. In the meantime, we have to trust that God (the tree in the photo in my parable) is going to keep us safe and secure. The best part is that God doesn't break like real trees do, so no fear...

Sunday, November 5, 2006

Dad's gonna get hitched... again.

How can I maintain any semblence of peace over this? Dad's wedding is Saturday! Simple, by the GRACE OF GOD.

God doesn't ask us to judge others, he asks us to love others, and leave the judging up to Him. That seems really hard sometimes, but I have to have faith in this, God has always been faithful so far. He is the One who will never let me down. I have a perfect Father in God, I can just love my imperfect, human father just the way he is.

It took me a while to get to this, but my sister and I had a great talk, and once again she reminded me how she pulled me out of the sea of loneliness, so we can be a family together again. I will never again be alone here on earth, and I also have a place secured in Heaven. Pretty neat if you ask me.

God gave me a new life, he forgave me my sins. How can I not forgive others who have hurt me in the past? I am on a quest to know Him more and more each day. Every time He reveals a bit of Himself to me I am totally amazed. Everytime I follow His heart and do His will, my soul is afire. I can do nothing but praise Him for the past year of growth in my life, and I am confident that He is my Savior, my Dragon-slayer. Through Jesus, nothing is impossible.

So, in a wierd way, I am looking forward to a celebration of His love in my father's new marraige. I pray that all intentions are good, and hearts won't be broken... but it is not in my hands anymore. Thank you Christ.

Monday, October 30, 2006

Details work themselves out

Well, this weekend was busy. Dave and I did lots and lots of wedding stuff. We decided we want the chapel, booked a hall, and registered at two stores. Kohl's and Target. I also attended a Bridal Show and got to see more stuff NOT to spend my money on. No limo, no bathroom attendants at the Legion Hall... sorry. Yes, the reception will be at the Legion Hall. Interested in details? Here is our Knot webpage. I update it as often as I know stuff. Now I have to go get a dress. Wish me luck. Dave's sis and I go on Wednesday!

Sunday, October 8, 2006

Here's to new friendships, new begginings

Yesterday, Dave and I helped a friend move in to her new apartment.

Have you ever seen someone and felt a pull to them right away? That is how I felt the first second I saw Mandy, even before I met her. Somehow, I was given the courage to open my heart to her when she needed it. Okay, that was God. Mandy needed some things, long story short, and I had them. Both of us are now enjoying having comforts of home. My new stuff that Mom gave me for Christmas was just sitting in a box, not anymore. Now I eat off my Fiestaware plates, and Mandy has my old ones for now. I am so glad that I didn't just toss that stuff in the garbage like so many people do.

God has shown me my heart for ministry in all of this, and it feels really really good. I cannot wait to get involved more and do more things like this. It was Mom's too. She was homeless for a while. She almost got divorced and lived on her own wits. I almost had to do the same. I was saved by her good grace, and the grace of God. I want to do that for others. I want to help people who feel hopeless find hope. It is great that Mandy came and reached out to the Body of Christ for help, because I got to see it in action. God is so awesome right now, I cannot wait to sing His praises!

Everything seems to be starting new, and its fall!?!?! Dave is blossoming in Christ! I feel like God is doing amazing work in my life. I am able to go on because of Him. Thank you Jesus!

Too much to write here, and I have got to get ready for church! TTFN!

Saturday, September 30, 2006

This much, at least, I've figured out. I know this much is true.

"I am not a smart man, particularly, but one day, at long last, I stumbled from the dark woods of my own, and my family's, and my country's past, holding in my hands these truths: that love grows from the rich loam of forgiveness; that mongrels make good dogs; that the evidence of God exists in the roundness of things.
This much, at least, I've figured out. I know this much is true."

Wally Lamb has this terrific book "I know this much is true."

I finished reading it the other day, and just knew I had to blog on it. First of all, the thing that drew me to it was the fact that it was 897 pages long. I was in the library, and it called to me. Something on the back read "non-stop reading" so I took it home. The back cover did not lie. I was drawn into the life of Dominick. I related so much to him, not on an equal level, but the writing was such that I could have been him. I have to defend myself, I am not an Oprah fan, but she reccomends this book, its part of her book club. I have on occasion been lead astray by Oprah, but not this time. Not that Oprah influenced the picking out of the book, I only saw the giant "O" when I was checking out at the library.

When I was going through Mom's stuff, I ran into a sheet of paper that is probably one of the best things ever. Its written on a square note page from some bank that probably doesn't exist anymore.

1Peter 1:18 God paid a ransom to save you from the empty life you inherited from your ancestors... HE DID THIS FOR YOU!

Every day, God proves how big He is... bigger than I can conceive. He gives me the strength to overcome the empty life I inherited, and walk into the loving arms of the Unchanging One... the One that does not break promises, the One that gives me GRACE and TRUTH to get me through this life into eternity with HIM. Into the loving arms of Christ.

This much, at least, I've figured out. I know this much is true.

Monday, September 18, 2006

Feeling useless?

The next time you feel like GOD can't use you, just remember...

Noah was a drunk Abraham was too old Isaac was a daydreamer Jacob was a liar Leah was ugly Joseph was abused Moses had a stuttering problem Gideon was afraid Samson had long hair and was a womanizer Rahab was a prostitute Jeremiah and Timothy were too young David had an affair and was a murderer Elijah was suicidal Isaiah preached naked Jonah ran from God Naomi was a widow Job went bankrupt Peter denied Christ The Disciples fell asleep while praying Martha worried about everything Mary Magdalene was possessed by 8 demons The Samaritan woman was divorced, more than once Zaccheus was too small Paul was too religious Timothy had an ulcer..AND Lazarus was dead!

Friday, September 8, 2006

More evidence that the Almighty answers prayers

I hate to admit it, but my finances are not in tip-top shape right now. I know that when I write my check to the church to tithe, I could be paying other bills off. But it is that important to me to give my firstfruits to God. I sign my check saying "Ok God, I trust you, you will provide... Jehovah Jireh!" I get to the last few bills and realize not only is the account dwindeling, but so are the number of checks I have, and that means spending money to order checks. I decide who can wait until I get more checks (please no emails about e-pay and online banking stuff, I like writing checks.) After a trip to the grocery store, it turns out I was also deciding who will wait to get paid. I picked the bill with the latest due date, so it still is not yet late.

Upon arrival at work - good news! We will be getting bonus checks tommorow! Yipee! How many times have I been short recently and I turn and say "God, I know that somehow, you will come through for me" and he has? I cannot count.

God has come through for me daily, sometimes several times a day. Sometimes it is just in a hug or smile from the right person at the right time. God answers my prayers in wierd ways, His ways. His path is right and I trust him to guide me. I was reading in Proverbs and found this verse so appropriate: "The Lord directs our steps, so why try to understand everything along the way?" (Ch20 V24 NLT)What this means to me is that I should not have to worry or dig too deep when I do not understand what is going on in my life, but trust that the Lord is with me, directing me, leading me to His purpose.

The greatest lesson I have learned is that something horrible happening can end up being one of the most wonderful things to happen. My mom got really sick and died. I came back to God, so did Becky and Dave. I was able to heal wounds with my mom, and she was able to heal a lot of her own. I was able to get closer to my sister than ever possible. This has all lead to new things in my life, new outlook on everything. I have personally experienced the ressurection power of Christ Jesus that Paul talks about in Philipians 3:10-11. (Shout out to Alpha II classmates!)

I was in counceling. I have not had to go back. God has met all of my needs. Why? Because I have a personal relationship with him, and I surrendered myself to HIS will. I encourage you to call upon the LORD, take your broken heart to him to heal. Psalm 17 verse 6-7 NLT reads "I am praying to you because I know you will answer, O God. Bend down and listen as I pray. Show me your unfailing love in wonderful ways.By your mighty power you rescue those who seek refuge..."

Oh yes, and it may seem when you pray that God is "out to lunch" or doesn't care about your prayers. Know that His timing is perfect, and while you may want it NOW, God knows what you need, when you need it. Sometimes "you can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you'll find, you get what you need" to quote the Rolling Stones.

I cannot praise Him and thank Him enough. God, you are so awesome.

Tuesday, September 5, 2006

The courage to heal

God is amazing. You pray to him with all of your heart I promise you He will answer. He may not answer the way you want it, but the answer ends up being the best thing ever for you.

I have seen it myself in so many wierd ways.

Right now, God is giving me courage to heal. Courage to forgive, courage to go on...

Some days I don't know how I will make it through, but I know that I will because of God. He always comes through, His way, His time. His healing is the best healing there is.

Thank you God, for being my perfect Father, my perfect healer... my Savior. Your bandages are the best.

Saturday, August 12, 2006

Jehovah-jireh: The Lord Provides!

I was missing mom like crazy yesterday. No one else on earth is MOM. You just cannot get comfort from people like you do from Mom. Or, can you?

I could not stop crying yesterday. Every little thing got to me. I was so mad at my father and missed my mom so much. I blabbed everything to Dave on the phone. He did not know what to say, but he listened and let me spill my guts and cry. He also did a one up on me. He had his mom call me. It is so cool to be offered someone else's mom. She said that she may not be my mom, but she was A mom, and she would be there for me. I love that woman so much!

I also divulged my heart in an email to a friend. This friend is rather new, but I have been called to be friends with her by God. Sure enough, today I check my email and BAM, she said exactly what I needed to hear.

Then I got to work. I was checking some paperwork when a woman from another department walked by. She asked if I was feeling better. She must have seen me cry yesterday. She offered me a hug. That hug felt so good.

The last story is a guy. I walked up on a co-worker to check on him. Just at the right time he said. He was struggling with life issues, anger, dissapointment and other things. We talked a bit and then I said a prayer for the both of us. Later I wrote him some encouraging words out of the Bible.

The Lord provided. I asked and I did receive.

Humans are not perfect. God is not physically here. That is why there is the Body. We are here to encourage each other, love each other, and be there for each other when no one else can. God gave us each other while we are here on earth. Yes, He is always with us, but I know He used my co-workers to give me hugs because He could not right this minute.

God is faithful. I assure you of this. I know every single day that He gives me what I need. Thank you for being my perfect Father.