A Message for all of my Celebrate the Journey friends

I wasn't there this Tuesday, and I likely won't be there next Tuesday for launch.

It breaks my heart to say it, but I am taking a break from Celebrate the Journey.  This goes along with my season to lay fallow.  (See this post)  I have realized just how much people really expect me to be there on Tuesdays, so I thought I would send this out to let everyone know.

I still love Celebrate the Journey.  This has nothing to do with the leadership or team, and everything to do with me.  In fact, I am considered a leader on break. 

Last March, we brought home a "brand new bouncing" 6 year old boy and have been growing closer and closer as a family.  Jeramy will turn 8 in May, and with my work schedule I barely get to see him.  I am changing some things, like getting him up in the morning for school.  Taking Tuesdays as a family day will now be an addition that we need.  When you work 5-6 nights a week from 3-1130, that means you don't get to spend after school and before bed time with your children.  Considering I work every other weekend, that means hardly any time.  These days are few, and time is precious.  Seeing as we lost the first 6, I don't want to miss out on the next. 

Seeing as I have been asked several times, no, I cannot change my work hours.  While Dave's hours have gone up considerably, we are still in a very bad pickle, and require every dime possible.  As long as I have this job, I aim to keep it.  They have given me so much grace, I truly appreciate my manager and supervisor immensely.

There are other personal things that go into this decision, but when it all comes down to it, I just hated how we would get to the church and then split up for the night.  Our family needs this time, and I can attend small groups at other times. 

I have put on hold all other leadership and volunteering positions, including Kids City. God will let me know when to jump in again. 

God has told me to lay fallow and grow my family closer, and so it shall be.  Our first family night we went to the grade school skate night.  It was great because it reminds me that no matter how hard you fall, you have to get back up and keep trying if you want to learn how to skate. 

I used to LOVE skating so much.  In fact, we went to the very same skate place I went on my grade school skate parties. Talk about memories (foggy distant memories, but good ones none the less.)  My first run out on the floor today, I totally wiped out... bad.  Yet I got up (with the help from the guy with the whistle and most of my dignity) and tried to go around again.  I almost was getting it again.  Oh my poor muscles haven't done this in over 15 years, more I am sure... and we hope to do this more often.  Jeramy counted 11 bruises, and wants to go back.  Dave was pleasantly surprised by his balancing skills.  We even did two rounds in the couples skate.  Ask me tomorrow when my muscles ache and my knee throbs, but I think it was fun.

Its times like this that I am missing out on.  And so please do keep in touch.  I mean it.  Call me, email me, Facebook me, lets do lunch or have coffee or just knit and chat.  I have made too many wonderful friends at Celebrate the Journey.  If you are reading this on Facebook and are my friend, my cell phone and email are listed under "info" so there is no excuses! 

I wrote this Sunday night...

Its after 2am and I am still awake.
Today was phenomenal. My heart just trembled as I swept my eyes up and down the hill. "Wow, this is unbelievable!" I believe it was just a glimpse of a sliver of heaven.

Shortly after I started coming to CCC, there was an all campus picnic. I hardly knew anyone, and spotted the pastors to keep entertained.

My how times have changed...

Today I didn't go a moment without seeing people I knew, and I lost count of how many meaningful hugs I imparted to dear friends. Sometimes all I could do was wave hello as they passed by.

Talk about IMPACT...

I was a lonely soul looking for significance and meaning in my life. Through COMMUNITY I have been able to connect to tons of people, celebrate my life instead of wallow in depression, and contribute to helping other people find their way back to God. I have found great love from God and can't help but want others to know the change, the resurrection life he has given to me is available to them as well

As I think and pray about what's next for me and my family, I can't help but to praise God for Community Christian Church and the impact it has had on my life. . Its people have become my extended family that has supported me and my family through some of the roughest years of our lives. I have learned and grown so much, I often find myself amazed!

I hope that I am able to pass on the great love that COMMUNITY has and continues to show me.

Leadership Summit - reflections

It has almost been a week since the Leadership Summit.

It was an emotionally exhausting two days, not to mention getting there so early (hey for a second shifter 7 am is rough!) While I was not at my normal job, I felt more tired, more spent, and more abused. It was great!

Here are some of my reflections from the event:

1. It is very hard for me to sit still. Especially on a chair. I sat on the steps mostly when I did sit. My back and legs were exhausted, and I am still limping. I am not the type who can sit still for long. While I love the information, I don't like to be pinned down. I moved around a lot. Good thing I move for a living.

2. I love to serve, and I love to serve church leaders. I really enjoyed just being a greeter and handing stuff out to church leaders. I got to pray for them all as they filed out the door, likely never to be seen again. I got to strike up a relationship with strangers from another state who came down here to learn. I get so energized being around leaders who have the same common purpose as me. I saw a grown man cry and thought it was one of the most wonderful things ever.

3. I got to connect with people. I met folks that are deep into ministry that I have yet to run across as of yet, and shook their hand. I got to tell them I am a huge fan and pray for them. Just being a part of this event was fantastic, and put us on a level ground.

4. There are those that serve just to serve. Running an event requires people who run around and do stuff and don't get to sit in on the event. And they love it. They live to serve. And that just makes me love serving even more. I love it. Jesus loves it.

5. What God is doing in my life, he is doing all over. Hearing what leaders had to share about just confirmed that I am on vibe with the Holy Spirit. God has been summoning me to make changes in the way I think, feel, and live. And he is calling the rest of his body to do the same. I am not alone in what I am going through, and His timing blows my mind.

6. The local church is the hope of the world. This concept is not anything new, but just confirmed more and more every time. I truly believe that we have the resources to eliminate poverty. I truly believed that if we stopped putting up appearances and just started to "be" the church, then the world will change. I wish it didn't take a rock star to open our eyes to that. I keep getting drawn to connect with people who are doing just that... and I am stepping outside of my comfort zone to do so next week.

7. Nothing is impossible with God. While this also is nothing new, its something I often seem to forget. And it was nice to be inspired. To be reminded. Just what I needed to spur some of my own growth. Vision leaks and I just got my bucket topped off. Now I am ready to continue on and do what it is I need to do. I got off my butt, because I am really uncomfortable there anyway, and I am going to keep plugging. There is nothing like being on the winning team!

Why I love Celebrate the Journey

Most of you know that I spend my Tuesday nights at church doing small groups. Some of you know that I do a support and recovery program. Few of you might know that I lead a twelve-step group.

First off, I serve with some awesome folks. I love the people I serve with and the people I serve. Secondly, large group rocks. We get together from 7-7:40 for large group. That means worship music (I love) and either a teaching or testimony. Also Diane often has nuggets of wisdom. Tonight Sherrie taught about being able to cry out to God and others for help when we are hurting.

It is scary to admit you are not fine. I haven't been fine. My friends could see that in me. I even had a coffee and still looked tired. Like the puppies above, they could tell I was down. "What is going on with you?" they ask me, "I can tell you are not okay." They know they better call me out, and that I really appreciate it. I do. I love that someone cares enough to check on me.

I have been really sad. The second anniversary of my mom's passing is coming up. Some days it feels like 2 million years, sometimes, times like now, it feels like 2 days. I am a totally different person than I was two years ago, and I am completely confident that my mom would be more proud of me than anyone else. And God has put wonderful women in my life that more than fill my mother's roll. It still doesn't make it hurt any less. It still doesn't make me miss her any less.

We saw the video from Indiana Jones where he has to take the leap of faith. I listen to Nicole Nordeman sing "what if you jump, just close your eyes..." and I remember the reason I am doing so well. I took that step of faith when I had nothing to cling to but the promise of God. "What if the arms that catch you, catch you by suprise?" I read the Bible every day, and more and more I am assured of God's love. I know he is there.

Yet God never promises there will not be pain and sorrow. In Isaiah 53:3, Jesus is called a man of sorrows, acquainted with the deepest grief. In John 11:35 it says Jesus wept. Jesus cried often. Once he was so worried he sweat blood (Luke 22:44). Does that make the pain any better?

No, but it makes it easier to bear.

God doesn't say he will keep us from the fire and floods. He says he will be with us in the fire and as we cross the river (Isaiah 43:2). I know God was with me when my house caught on fire. I may not have felt it, but looking back on it, oh boy you can't miss it. Daily I drive past a house that nearly burned down and they have to entirely rebuild the garage. I got through it. I came out stronger.

I know God is with me now, but I still hurt. Celebrate the Journey lets me be with other people who know that kind of hurt. It lets me share and be with people who understand there is no place to look to but to God in times like these. Having the relationship with God that I do now, and did not have two years ago, reminds me why I keep coming back every week.

Somehow when you hurt together, it doesn't hurt less, but it is easier to bear. Ecclesiastes 4:12 says that a cord of three strands is not easily broken. How about our small group cord of 12 strands? BRICK HOUSE!

Sabbath???

I think we lost what Sabbath is supposed to mean. I grew up where Sabbath meant you went to church on Sunday then went home and sat around watching TV or played in the yard. More than likely we cleaned the house. Sabbath meant that stores were closed, so we were forced to not do much. Sometimes we would visit Grama and Grampa.

I did not like this idea that we were "forced" to spend time off of work. Granted, I was a kid, and did not understand what working was. It was a lazy day, and we were lazy. I just didn't like that.

I don't think Sabbath means "to be lazy for a day."

In The Message, Isaiah 58:13-14 reads "If you watch your step on the Sabbath and don't use my holy day for personal advantage , If you treat the Sabbath as a day of joy, God's holy day as a celebration, If you honor it by refusing 'business as usual,' making money, running here and there— Then you'll be free to enjoy God! Oh, I'll make you ride high and soar above it all.
I'll make you feast on the inheritance of your ancestor Jacob." Yes! God says so!" (italics mine)

I really don't see God telling us to be lazy! I see Him telling us to have a party with Him! We are to take the focus off of ourselves and anything to be gained personally and put it onto God. Sittin on our bums watching football does not qualify as celebrating with God! Sorry guys, but it is not true!

I also don't see anywhere where God says to make Sundays the "Holy day of Sabbath." In fact if you follow the calendar properly, the 7th day is for rest, and the seventh day is Saturday. It goes back to those pagans who worshiped the sun, making the first day of the week "sun" day. This is about the only part where I agree with Seventh Day Adventists.

In today's world, the Sabbath just might end up being Tuesday. Well, it is for me anyway! Tuesday is one of my busiest days ever, so what makes it a Sabbath? First off, it is the only day of the week I consistently have off from work. Secondly, I dedicate that day to God. Yes, I might sleep in... but I also spend the most time that day serving God, volunteering, enjoying His nature. (See Is 58:6-12)

Tuesday is the day I get to spend with Dave most of the time, and we spend it together serving in East Aurora during the school year with the kids. Tuesdays is Brady Book Club, and my week is not complete without reading with the kids. Then we go to Celebrate the Journey at the Yellow Box and I serve there as one of the leaders. I find myself becoming this person that I never thought I could be, free to enjoy God, serving others, and riding high above it all. I love what I do there, and throughout the week, I am thinking about my group, and ways I can be a better person and better leader for my group. I think about the people I know from C the J and pray for them throughout my week, but it is on Tuesdays where I invest myself in them.

While I am not doing things for myself, I am getting SO MUCH out of it. I think that is what God means when he says Sabbath. I put myself aside for a day, but by no means am I lazy. I celebrate God by showing others what he has done for me.

I wish that I could live the Sabbath life. I wish money were no obstacle and I could just spend my day serving those who are less fortunate, or investing myself in other people. Too bad I am not a Hilton. I take that back --thank God I am not a Hilton, I would not be who I am today!

What do you do to Sabbath?

All day with Dave

Saturday was one of the longest days ever. It was also one of the bestest days ever. Dave and I started out at Brady Spring Family Fun Day, helping kids to make flowers by tracing their hands onto felt, cutting it out and then using pipe cleaners to put it all together. We even helped a few parents to do so. It was fun, but we don't want to see felt and pipe cleaners for a long time.

After running home to let out the dog and grab a bite, we headed to the Box. Dave got to run cameras for the service and I greeted with a smile, handing out our new Connection Cards. Dave and I got surprise gifts from our friend Deb! (Thanks Deb!)

What amazes me is how many friends Dave and I have made since coming to the church. It has been 2 years, and there are soooo many hugs to be had. They help me get through the week.

When our duties were done, Dave and I filed into the Icon Theatre for the closing showing of "Love Notes." See, we had a "date night" and this was our time. Yes, we had already been at the box for 4 hours, but the next two slipped by like nothing. We sat side by side, holding hands and laughing, holding hands and snuggling, all while being entertained by wonderful excerpts from different plays and musicals. What we really enjoyed was seeing the chemistry on stage of the married couples that we know. While they were playing characters, we saw their true love shining through. It made us glad inside.

Then we headed off to dinner at Texas Roadhouse. The Roadhouse has become one of our favorite restaurants. They have awesome steaks at very reasonable prices. Seeing as I am on WW now, I got the 6 oz sirloin, instead of the 12 oz ribeye. Dave still got the ribeye. They were delicious.

We hurried home to the joy of Abby who was disappointed we did not have a doggy bag. (Do you blame us? That was some good steak!) We watched a movie that my friend loaned me (like a month ago, sorry it took so long!) Finally we slept, and we slept hard. You would too after 5 hours sleep and a 17 hour day.

Today the sun is out. Thank you God for the sunshine!

Vacation time

Well, while this is not my pets, they look similar. Too cute.

Dave and I are enjoying our vacation. Yesterday we got to visit some seniors that Dave knows from work, and it was great to spend some time getting to know them. We also spent some time volunteering at church (I stuffed programs, and Dave helped Lupe). I had an MRI of my bad ankle (finally) and we stayed up late watching Live Free or Die Hard. Dave also took me out to dinner at our favorite restaurant, BD's Mongolian BBQ! He got us a pair of gigantic Mongo Mugs to stuff our stockings. (Okay, the likelyhood they will ever touch a stocking is low, but its the idea...)

Wednesday, we bared the deep fog to visit some good friends of ours out in Sycamore. Driving down 88 is scary when you can only see two car lengths in front of you! Hector and Michelle served us a terrific dinner (thanks!) and we got to kick some butt playing Skip-Bo with them. Their baby boy is growing up sooooo fast!

Today we are hoping that the weather will accommodate us to drive around to see Christmas lights. We are also going to do some more movie watching and generally be lazy today. I made some killer grilled beef and cheese burritos for lunch!

Some people are amazed that Dave and I still volunteered while on vacation. The truth is, we would rather volunteer than work, but money is a necessity. We really find peace and happiness in giving ourselves.

Oh, and I never thought I would love kissing old people so much, but they love it! You know, the nice quick peck on the cheek.... it means so much to be able to bring them a moment of joy. It amazes me how they remember my name, I am so bad with names. Hopefully, that is something that gets better with age.

Hard work leads to long nap

These are pictures of me and Dave when we got home last night. We helped out at the City of Lights day of service in east Aurora yesterday. You can read about it a little on Kirsten's blog. We had over 300 volunteers at three different grade schools (okay, one was a middle school) helping to improve the look of the schools for when kids come back in a few weeks. This is an impoverished area of the community, where it is hard for kids to care about school. Hopefully, making the schools look nicer and cleaner helps them to take some pride in the hard work that they do.

In particular, Dave and I helped to repaint some worn stairs at the school. Working with my husband was awesome, I really enjoyed it. I love it when I walked past the stairs and they were shining bright, and not dull and worn and dirty. Many people helped with landscaping. Wow, it just looked really good. Fresh mulch, new plants, flowers and trees were all around the school. Also a much needed power-washing occurred.

It was really awesome to watch all the people work together to get this accomplished. I really felt the blessing of God on us yesterday.

We culminated the night with live music, barbecue pork sandwiches, and a bilingual worship service. It was awesome!

When we got home (like around 6-6:30), Dave and I laid down to nap, and slept until 11pm! It was a good nap, well earned, but it dashed our plans for renting a movie. Oh well, missing out on the rental was worth it.

Now I pray that God is with us today as well. I have to face a fallen tree on a shed at Woodhaven. Be with me God, I need you today too!

So happy together

Dave and I spent the whole weekend together not doing much. We actually served at church most of the day Saturday, followed by dinner out. Sunday our big thing was grocery shopping at three different stores, four if you count the jaunt to the pet store with the dog. We really just enjoy being together and doing stuff together.

Grocery shopping was enjoyable because we were planning our week together. I was surprised how picking meat out together was enjoyable. It was when we were by the tomatoes that I realized how much he just wants to make me happy. Dave is always looking for ways to make me happy even when he does not enjoy things. Dave hates tomatoes, but he wanted me to pick some out for me. When I suggested BLTs, it was almost awesome because we found something both of us enjoy, even if his T means toast.

Serving at church was all we had planned for Saturday, and it was really awesome to greet with Dave for second service. Then he surprises me by saying he would usher too! Starting in August, we will probably be separate for most of our time, but Saturday it was fun to be with him.

Sometimes I feel like we have our own language, because we know each other so well we anticipate each other. Other times I feel like we are speaking different languages. Don't get me wrong, we are not "perfect." This weekend didn't go off without some disagreements, but we worked it out. Many times we disagree because one or both of us in cranky. When we come back together and talk, it all seems to work out okay. We just have to get over "it", whatever "it" may be. In the end, just being together is what we both really need.

The best part is that we share many of the same passions in life, including our religion and love of God through Christ Jesus. We grew in this together, and that brings us even closer together. Maybe that is why we enjoy serving together so much. We also support each other. I really encourage Dave and his writing (among other things), and he really encourages me with the things that I do (whatever that is.) That is what marriage really is, growing together, supporting each other, and compromise.

Anyhow, I love you Dave. Thanks for being you and loving me.

You mean I have to put it together myself?

I see many people complain about life. The problem is that it ends there. If you don't do anything to fix it, it is not going to get better.

We aren't born knowing everything. We have to learn how to walk, talk, drive, type, tie shoes, etc. So why is it that people think that life will be easy?

We need to learn to handle life just like we learn to handle a car. Some people are really bad drivers. Some people are really bad at handling life. They probably never tried really hard, or were taught the wrong way. That doesn't mean you can't improve. Help is out there, it is available if you look for it.

So if you grew up learning how to be mean, selfish, rude and put people down, STOP! There are other ways to live life. If you haven't had a job in 5 years, HELLO THERE IS A PROBLEM HERE!!! I don't think it is the lack of work, I think it is a lack of ambition. If you don't find out the correct way to apply for a job, if you don't show that you want that job, you will not get it. If you think you are a ball of dirt, and completely useless, CUT IT OUT! Seriously, you have a worth. God loves you, and created you for a purpose. Start getting involved and see what it might be. If you are waiting for God to bring you the perfect husband, GET OUT AND FIND HIM because he is not coming to ring your doorbell (unless you want to marry a Jehova's Witness or delivery guy!)

Notice a pattern? ACTION. Life takes action, and you cannot complain how bad it is if you aren't doing anything to make it better. Poverty, homelessness, poor education, malnourishment, all of these things can be tackled if people stopped talking about it and started doing something about it. I see too many people spending too much time at the mall and not enough time volunteering at schools and soup kitchens.

My blog here is not to make you mad, but to get you to realize that THINGS CAN CHANGE for the better! What is one thing you can do THIS WEEK to make life (yours or anyone else's) better? Sometimes, all it takes is a phone call or a kind word. Think about it, comment on it, then "JUST DO IT!"

Back to life

A photograph of me, in Sedona, AZ on my honeymoon! I love it when the skies are blue, the air is clear and I am on vacation. I love it when I recover from feeling like crap and go back to life. The antibiotics are doing their job, and the new inhaler makes a world of difference.

Yesterday, I was able to enjoy my day off! I got to do most of what I planned. First off, Dave got great news from the oral surgeon. He doesn't think Dave needs surgery, and his problem is likely muscular. We were excited because oral surgery for Dave would be a huge deal and lots of pain. Secondly, we finally got to get cat food. The cat had to eat dog food Monday because I was sick and Dave worked a double. I always feel bad when I can't take care of my "kids." Then we went to a dinner to celebrate and recap our year at Brady School for Book Club. It was great, really nice to be social with the people we serve with. Kirsten even blogged about my experience that I shared with you folks earlier on my blog.

Then I got to go to Celebrate the Journey at church. It is great because there is a wonderful bunch of people there whom I love very much. I just know that God is working in all of us to make us better people, and we are all gifts to each other.

Last, but not least, we got grocery shopping done... finally. I always hate watching the total add up, and wiped my head at the register in frustration. I must have been too visible with my frustration, because the checker asked if I was tired. "It has been a long day," I said, trying not to lie. Also, I did three loads of laundry, the dishes, and watched American Idol that I taped. Go Jordin!

It sure is nice to be back to life.

My last Wednesday off

I finally spent my last Tuesday at work yesterday. Now I will spend my last Wednesday off. This means saying goodbye to my friends at Alpha. Dave will continue to go, that is his thing, and he is an apprentice there. I am choosing to get more involved on Tuesdays at Celebrate the Journey. This is going to mean I end up working 6 days in a row, but it will be worth it. Help me remember that on Mondays at 10 pm when I am aching to go home. Oh yeah, that is what Tuesdays are for. Also, come the fall, I will be able to get more involved with Brady Book Club.

I am making changes in my life because I feel that God wants me to. He wants me to be all these things that I can be, not what the world says I cannot be. I am not sure what the future will hold, but I know that it will be good because God is good. The Lord is my Shepard, and he will not lead me off a cliff into my eternal doom. If I stay in His light, I will never get lost. I am trying to live my life for God first, my family second, my friends third, and I don't think that work is on that list.

Work is just a tool to help me get things done. That is my new point of view, and I like it. It really takes stress off. While I am there, I am there for my patients, not for "the man" or the money. That is really hard to say, because money causes a lot of stress in our lives, but here is where trusting God comes in. If I am good at my job, I will get paid and so will the bills. God will make sure I get taken care of. I always asked for "enough" and that is all I need. I want enough food to eat, enough to pay the bills, enough gas to get to work and do what God wants (and I want) me to do. I do not need more than I can handle, more money to tempt me to spend, more bills, etc.

So I better get off the computer so I can enjoy my day off, enough of this already!

The Lion inside

Who are you inside? What do you have the potential to become? What if everything in the world seemed to go against you?

Growing up, Dave and I both absolutely loved reading. Both of us could often be found reading constantly when not outside playing. We chose to read, and our parents encouraged us to do so. Last year, when we decided to help contribute to the community, we were drawn to Community 4:12 and the Brady Book Club.

Brady Elementary is in East Aurora, an impoverished area where families value getting a job instead of finishing school, or taking care of your siblings instead of doing homework. Every Tuesday, we get a chance to make a difference by sharing our love of reading with these kids.

Grade school kids have a lot of energy, and it is hard to get the kids to sit down for an hour to read. Dave and I would sometimes get frustrated with some kids acting up, but when we left, we always left with a smile. We saw kids making leaps and bounds with their reading. There are kids who really wanted to get better at reading, and they were really trying hard. Every once and a while, we could catch a glimmer of who we were as kids. I personally love being called "teacher" and being asked a question. I love helping kids learn how to pronounce words and understand what they are reading.

But it is more than that, we are helping little kittens become lions. We are helping them overcome shyness by reading aloud. We try to build up their confidence in reading as much as possible. The kids are learning to love learning, and every little bit helps when the whole world is against them. The truth is we don't know who is getting more out of our little book club, us or the kids.

We need help. There is not enough people to sit down with the kids to give them the attention we want to give, and that they deserve. The school year is almost up, but come fall, a bunch of kids are really going to appreciate being told they can be more than just kittens, they can be lions.

I love hearing my lions roar.

My weekend "off"

This hideous picture of me and 3 other beautiful ladies was taken this past weekend in Aurora. I am the crazy looking one in pink on the left side of the photo. Saturday, Dave and I woke up at 8:30 am (seriously, I am not lying, and AM is not a typo, we can get up before noon) and headed off to Brady Elementary for Spring Family Fun Day (or whatever it was called.) We volunteered through Community 4:12 and ended up having a blast! We did not know what we were doing until we got there. I was assigned to the karaoke room, and Dave to the bingo room. We got to meet some great new people, have fun, and also help kids (and some adults) to have fun too!

Yes, I did karaoke. No, I am no Carrie Underwood or J-Lo. However, I did attempt to sing their songs, and tried to encourage kids to do so. The ones that did, had fun. My favorite was the one that sang "Since U Been Gone" because she screamed it at the top of her lungs! I also actually enjoyed the song by Gwen Stefani about candy. No, I will not be going out for American Idol anytime soon. Dave had fun at bingo, ask him about it.

Then I went to church. I brought all the left over food from Brady, and since I do hospitality it came in really handy. I cannot explain it, but I really really love to help set up. I also love passing communion and collection. I get this really great feeling inside, and its so awesome. I cannot describe it other than saying that God really meets me there. I was getting addicted, looking for other things to do to help out. Dave went home to take care of our dog and my dad's dogs.

Church itself was awesome. You should check out the message. It talks about how church is not a department store centered on you. You should really check it out. Also I love when we sing the updated song "On Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand" it rocks.

Then Dave and I met some friends for bowling. It was probably some of the most fun I have had bowling in a long time. Everyone was really encouraging each other, and I could tell it was sincere, not just being nice. I found out that one of the guys started going to AA (16 days sober today! Thank you Jesus!) which is actually really good news.

When we got home, we actually got some housework done. It was a really good, full day.

The next day we took Dave's buddy Steve fishing for the very first time. (Sorry the fish weren't biting Steve.) They met up with a couple of Dave's other friends at the lake by his parents. I hung out with his sister and our nieces. Dave's sister did our catering at the wedding. She rocks. Well, Sunday, she made homemade fried chicken and mashed potatoes, with carrots (best I ever had), salad and fruit salad. Then some brownies!!!! I loved everything. We all had a great time visiting, then we took Steve home.

I had an action packed weekend. This weekend coming up.... I work....

Got God sized questions? Alpha has answers!

Seriously, I am not much for advertising stuff, unless its good. Alpha is good. If you go to CCC, or live in the Naperville vicinity, check it out :
Do you have questions about the Christian faith?

Are you wondering how Jesus and Christianity is relevant to your life? Or are you a new Christian who still has many questions about the Christian faith? Check out the Alpha Course “Dinner & A Movie” series on Wednesday, April 11th from 6:30 to 9pm at the Naperville - Yellow Box. “Alpha” is a 13-week course that explores the meaning of life and the basics of the Christian faith in a fun, relaxed way.

Contact: credford@wideopenwest.com or 630.588.5121

Now if you do not live in the area, you can go to the Alpha website to find where there are courses near you.

This is what happens when you come to Alpha:
1. There is good food to eat. I am talking a full meal here. You can donate money, or not... its up to you. But eat it. Also lemonade, water and decaf coffee.
2. There are great people to talk to. People who know Jesus, people who are curious about Jesus, people who are getting to know Jesus, all sorts. They come from all walks of life and have questions just like you.
3. You watch a movie. Nicky Gumble, who started Alpha, talks on the DVD. He is from England, which means he has a British accent. He is also easy to understand and pretty funny on occasion too.
4. You eat dessert. Yummy! Usually homemade stuff too! (Tom, please bring lots of whipped cream!)
5. You get to discuss what you just heard. Talk with others and see how they feel about it, ask questions, share your opinion, or just listen.
6. You get a book. The book is good if you want to read what Nicky just talked about, or take your time with the issue, or if you have to miss a class.
7. You might get to meet me and my husband. We love that Alpha helps people find their way back to God, so we are helping out the leaders this session. Now I won't be there as much as Dave, due to my work schedule, but I am bound to make a few appearances.
8. Last, but not least, you get a taste of small group community. Interested in joining a small group, but intimidated to go to someones house? This group meets at a very neutral location: the church basement. Remember, our church is a gymnasium that looks like a giant yellow box... nothing intimidating about that.

Starts Wednesday, April 11th at 6:30 pm. Seriously, think about coming. Bring a friend! Just let Catherine know so we make enough food!

2006 Year in Review

I have never done this year in review before. I felt prompted to do so because I have had such a phenomenally weird year. I started out on FMLA leave from work to help take care of my mom. This actually began just before Christmas. In fact, we did not think she would make it through Christmas at all. It was a miracle she did. It was God's will.

In January, my dear friend Becky got baptized. This was an incredibly important day in my life for two reasons. First, my friend Becky was saved and changed forever. Secondly because I was called by God. God came over me and filled me with the holy spirit. He told me it was my turn, that he wanted me to be baptized, and to turn towards him, and live my life for him... to start going to church and to share the good news. In February, I bought my Bible that I carry with me today. I returned to work, and started attending Community Christian Church. I was baptized on March 19th.

Spring brought freshness into my life. Dave warmed up and turned towards God himself. We knew we wanted to be married, and made a commitment to each other at that time. It was hard to plan anything with Mom dying. We did grow a lot by taking "A life worth living" study of Phillipians at church. That is where we met our "Alpha" friends.

On June 30, Mom turned 55. She celebrated with a party and had everyone sign her sheets. I gave her new sheets with 600 thread count as a gift, she never got to use them. Her brain was so damaged from lack of oxygen and morphine combined that she became overly paranoid. One night I got a call that she had called 911 and was coming in to the hospital via ambulance. I was so mad at her, she wanted to die at home... In the long run, it ended up for the best. The doctors at the hospital were able to give her IV pain medication. They switched her from Morphine to Dilaudid and it was a miracle. The fog had lifted and the paranoia dissipated.

We were able to say good bye to Mom on July 6th. There was a party in her room with music and food delivered from Winfield House. That day I stayed at the hospital 28 hours. I finally went home after spending the night alone holding Mom. I took the best shower ever taken that day. I think I got an hour or so of sleep before the phone rang. Just enough to fuel my day. Mom passed in peace, she just stopped breathing. Megan called me. Mom waited for me to leave.

July was busy with her memorial and many other things. A friend took me up to Willow Creek in South Barrington for the very first time (see previous post.) I started blogging more in August.

September was full of excitement. Celebrate the Journey started, a support and recovery/small group program at CCC. I joined the Changes that Heal class. (The book is written by Dr. Henry Cloud, I highly recommend it.) I met several wonderful people and made some new friends there. Dad went on vacation with Yola and we had 3 dogs in the house for two weeks. That was chaos. Phoebe started peeing on stuff.

In October, we started volunteering at Brady Elementary reading books to kids. This is through Community 412 at CCC. (You can also read Kirsten's blog for more info.) Alpha started, and Dave volunteered to help, well I did too, but am hardly there due to work. Dave himself started a new job. Also, Dave and I got engaged officially.

In November, I got horribly sick right in time for Dad's wedding. Dave ended up in the ER after the service (it ended up to just be vertigo, thank God!) I also bought my dress, flowers and DJ and did marriage counseling with Dave. Thanksgiving was delicious, and the turkey put me out for an hour on the couch right after dinner.

December started off with beautiful snow and the Alpha retreat on the Holy Spirit. Of course, Christmas and all the assorted fun with that as well. Now I cannot seem to find any snow around.

I am happier, healthier, and all together a better person now than one year ago. I have to give all the credit to one guy: Jesus Christ. If I had not taken him into my heart and accepted him fully as my Lord and Savior, I would be dead. I mean that seriously. My depression had such a hold on me that I would not have been able to handle my mother's death and all that ensued following. If it were not for Jesus, I would be filled with darkness instead of light. Once I was blind, but now I can see. I once cried because of my father and Yola, now I am happy for him, and I see how good she is for him. If you saw me before it was black, and now I am white. All because of Jesus. I know what it is like to be dead, and to live again, I know the Resurrection power. I am a new person.

Here's to 2006, thanks for all the memories and growth. As for 2007, I cannot wait to see the joy in store for me and Dave as we begin our marriage. May God bless all of you this upcoming year.

Wednesday, August 9, 2006

Glad I don't sleep in a sink.

One of the things that has been on my heart recently is helping the needy. I have been looking for ways to contribute at my church. I realized is that there are more people out there who need help than just my church. I ran across an article about how the homeless shelter did not have enough volunteers over the summer, and that it can be a very busy time because of the heat.

I feel very blessed to have a home to live in. I have air conditioning. If it wasn't for my mom, I would not be here today. I have taken care of patients with no air conditioning. How they make it through the summer with no electricity is beyond me. I can't make it without air in my car. I feel so spoiled. I am so blessed.

I want other people not to have to worry about things like basic needs. Sometimes I worry what is for dinner, but I know I am going to eat. Some people worry where their next meal is coming from. I may not be rich compared to some, but I sure have a lot to offer to those who have nothing.

So here I am declaring publicly that I am going to volunteer myself at least once a month to help the underresourced in DuPage County. My first step begins today. DuPage PADS helps the homeless. I filled out an online application to volunteer.

What can YOU do to make a difference?

Sometimes all that people need is LOVE. I am not suggesting you run up and hug a homeless person. What I am suggesting is that you NOT ignore the people that you normally would. Sometimes it might be the nasty neighbor, or the quiet checker at the grocery store, or that person you see at work all the time but know nothing about. Share the love of Jesus. Let them know that there are humans out there that pay attention to people that tend to slip through the cracks.

Sometimes all it takes is a smile! I know it sounds cheesy. That would be me though, cheese.

follow up... I applied but they never replied to me...