Vision

My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers.  I have been reading it every day.  Today was so confusing, and deep, and full of older words.  I have a feeling that Os and I are kindred spirits of sorts.  We both live in the world of metaphors and deep thoughts.  Sometimes it makes me wonder.

If we lose the vision, we alone are responsible, and the way we lose the vision is by spiritual leakage. If we do not run our belief about God into practical issues, it is all up with the vision God has given. The only way to be obedient to the heavenly vision is to give our utmost for God's highest, and this can only be done by continually and resolutely recalling the vision. The test is the sixty seconds of every minute, and the sixty minutes of every hour, not our times of prayer and devotional meetings.

 That means we need to live our lives for God 24/7 365, not just on Sunday.  That God is in the everyday, in your eating, sleeping, playing, working.  I know this, but I need to "recall this vision" quite often.

"Though it tarry, wait for it." We cannot attain to a vision, we must live in the inspiration of it until it accomplishes itself. We get so practical that we forget the vision. At the beginning we saw it but did not wait for it; we rushed off into practical work, and when the vision was fulfilled, we did not see it. Waiting for the vision that tarries is the test of our loyalty to God. It is at the peril of our soul's welfare that we get caught up in practical work and miss the fulfilment of the vision.

Um, oh yeah is that me.  I rushed off all excited and raced so fast I went right past what I was looking to accomplish.  Now I am called to wait and do the practical stuff, and it ticks me off.  Why?  Because I am selfish and impatient.  I was doing everything, and I went to doing nothing.  I need to find a balance there.  There is so much more waiting for me, but I haven't been listening.

Watch God's cyclones. The only way God sows His saints is by His whirlwind. Are you going to prove an empty pod? It will depend on whether or not you are actually living in the light of what you have seen. Let God fling you out, and do not go until He does. If you select your own spot, you will prove an empty pod. If God sows you, you will bring forth fruit.

So confused.  I wonder if I am doing God's plan or my own.  I don't want to fall into something that will lead to deadness.  I want to accomplish the fruit, I want to work for the vision.  It is not too late, but I am so lost.

It is essential to practise the walk of the feet in the light of the vision.

God I need you here.  Show me some light.  I think I need to spend some time in your word.  Your word is a lamp unto my feet and light unto my path.  Just enough light for the step I am on, and perhaps a little to let me know which way to go God.