I have been crucified with Christ (Gal 2:20)

To read today's My Utmost

Think for a moment if this were true.  If we actually crucified ourselves with Christ.  Not just followed him, but crucified ourselves.  Chambers says "When I come to such a moral decision and act upon it, then all that Christ wrought for me on the Cross is wrought in me. The free committal of myself to God gives the Holy Spirit the chance to impart to me the holiness of Jesus Christ."

What does this mean?

How many of you are reading this from your home right now?  You have flooring, walls, roof, running water, doors that lock, electricity, a computer, internet... Now, trade yourself with a resident of Port-au-Prince Haiti.  You lost your home, your family is either dead, wounded or missing.  You live in a town of sticks and sheets, never knowing when you will be safe.  Will you be beaten, raped, robbed?  What do you eat?  Do you have to go use the poor excuse for a latrine?  Is there toilet paper? Is it quilted?

I get so used to my middle class life sometimes I forget.  I take simple things that I consider necessities for granted.  I buy shoes and purses and go out to eat.  I drive a car.  I have a home (for now) and all I can say is THANK YOU GOD. 

When I remodeled my home, and then it set on fire, my life changed.  While staying in a hotel (that was paid for by insurance) Dave got to speak to his son for the very first time.  Now Dave is in the next room tucking him into bed.  I hear giggles and laughter.  My heart overflows.

I know that we could be living in a shanty town and be happy and giggle.  But not so much.  I mean I would like to believe that to be true.  But it is not.  Part of the reason we are happy and giggling is because we have each other, yes.  But we are full, and we are warm, and we are clean.  I thank God for that.

I feel guilty and selfish for wanting this middle class life so much.  I just want to be clean and warm and fed and educated and ... I want want want.  Need need need.

God wants me.  He doesn't need me.  I need God.  Sometimes I don't always want Him.  Sometimes I just want to be selfish.  It breaks my heart, knowing what happens in Haiti, in Burma, everywhere around the world, even in America.


This isn't about things.  Its about relationship.  God isn't a thing we own, children aren't a thing we own.  Marriage isn't a thing we own.  These are all relationships.

Why do we let things get in the way of relationships?  Why do we try to build relationships with things? 

Right now life is so uncertain in that I have no idea how I am going to pay for my things.  But the possibilities are endless, and I have more relationships than I have ever had before.  And I am not alone.

Help me God, to remember what is important.  Help me to crucify my selfish wants, and take care of my needs and the needs of my family.  Help me to grow my relationships, closer to you, closer to each other.