The other day, my husband went to pick up our old dog to put her on the bed and she backed away from him. He said "why do you do that Abby? Oh yeah, that's right you are a female and females like to be pursued." Sure enough, the dog was happily placed on the bed to cuddle with us.
Sometimes, I back away from God. I don't mean to do it, its just in my nature. I am a woman after all, and sometimes its just how I am. I walk out of the room to see if you will follow me. Do you really want me? Come and get me. Its almost instinct. It happens so naturally, I can't help it.
Today, God decided to remind me he still loves me. Today, God pursued me. ME!
The day started out your typical manic Monday. The dryer repair guy was coming over. Now I can't say who or for what company because he didn't technically come over. Thanks to the GRACE of GOD the man offered to let me "cancel" before he was there when he saw there was nothing he could do and it was our association that needed to do something. That saved me and our family well over a hundred dollars we didn't necessarily have to spend. When he left I literally got down on my hands and knees in the living room and praised God.
But where was I playing hard to get you ask? Well, after everyone else left, I went back to bed. The alarm went off and I made my coffee and sat down to check my Facebook. Its the new version of checking my email, especially since my email comes straight to my phone. I see what everyone else is doing, and sometimes interact. Previously, I could have spent hours playing games. Not anymore, because I removed several apps that just sucked the time right out of me in a decision to spend more time with God. So I was "done" checking Facebook and should have gone to read my Bible (I want to get back into the habit) but my lazy self said no, lets go watch a show on Hulu instead. (Here, dear reader is when I chose to play hard to get, choosing entertainment over time with my King.)
He got me anyway. I watched Mercy. I don't know if you watch any tv shows or what you watch, but for some reason I have a sick attraction to hospital shows, despite their drastic inaccuracy of portraying medical life. For example has anyone seen an x-ray tech in ER, House, Scrubs? If so you probably only saw some non-descript person pushing a machine, while the doctors do all the work, or erroneously seen the doctors doing the exams themselves. But I digress... I really like Mercy, which is the name of the hospital, but its also a lot what the show is about.
I won't bore you with details, but should you choose to watch it the episode is titled "I saw this pig and thought of you." (They always use really cool lines as episode titles.) It dealt with a lot of stuff that meant something to me, including turning on God and coming back, and as I got in the shower, the closing song rang in my head. Now to truly get why it touched me, you have to watch the episode and know my life. The closing song was special to the episode and went "that's how strong my love is."
Now why I got so choked up, I might not know. I do know that in my heart I heard God telling me that he loves me, and that he ain't giving up on me yet. God telling me that he has got it ALL under control and its going to be okay. Somehow, the sense of me running away made me feel horrible and I cried tears, tears of joy, tears of pain, tears of repentance.
And God keeps showing me how strong He loves me... (which might be a good book title... must google it.)
I learn much about God's love for me by dealing with Jeramy. I am so full of love for that kid. I remind him, especially when he gets in trouble or he is scared, that there is nothing he could ever do that would make me stop loving him. I might not like how he behaves, but I will always love him. And God said "Amen." That's how strong the love is, it held my savior to the cross harder than any nails ever could.
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