Eight years ago, my life was so different. I was going to stop being a waitress and start going to school to be an x-ray tech. I was going to work at the hospital starting in July. But in April 1999, Columbine happened. My heart broke. So many stories came out of the woodwork of the people who were killed, and the heroism of those inside the school. So much was brought up about the perpetrators, and a trenchcoat took on a whole new meaning to the world. I was distraught. High school was still fresh on my mind, and I had relatives in school still.
Now, Virginia Tech experiences a massacre almost eight years to the date. So much goes through my mind. When I first heard the news that morning, I ignored it. I wanted it not to be real, to be like a bad dream. It didn't go away. Now I have to look at his face on TV. He is trying to tell me, to tell the world that it is not his fault. Do all the blaming you want dipwad, IT IS YOUR FAULT!!!! What is it with people? How come they want to blame everything on everyone else but them?!?!?! You are hurting? GET HELP! People are mean? Grow some balls! Seriously.
I will be the first to admit that I suffer from depression. I started to hurt, I realized the problem, I got help. Life does get better! I grew up, took responsibility for myself, and changed my life. I did not go out and kill all the people who pissed me off. Despite a high school yearbook entry from an "anonymous" Julie Woods saying I hate you and hope you die. I realized that life is what I make of it, not what others tell me it is. (Julie is forgiven by the way, and I pray she has found happiness in her life.)
Am I angry? Yes. I burn with righteous anger. This jerk took lives of innocent people because he couldn't control himself. How dare he say "I die like Jesus Christ" because he felt persecuted!?! Jesus did nothing but good things, like heal and feed people. He did not bring guns to the Temple and shoot the Pharisees! Jesus's defense was not to punch out the people and kill them. Jesus died to set us free, and this sicko twisted it to his own defense. Weak.
Its all be done before, nothing is new. Sad, sick and twisted, but true. In the scheme of things, this guy will not be remembered for doing anything different.
I pray for the people at VT and all the friends and families affected by this. I pray for everyone involved. May God meet you in this tragedy and show you his real face, one of grace and love. I pray for the public that is affected by this. I pray for the people reporting the news.
Something good will come from this, God will make sure of that. Genesis 50:20 "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good..."
6 comments:
XRC - I think people just don't feel they need to be acountable anymore. It's so much easier to blame everyone else and not face the truth.
I refer to them as the "Not my fault," crowd too. They spend their entire life blaming all their mistakes on people that had nothing to do with truth and the facts of things.
Sadly though, this won't be the last time something like this happens. I just hope that the powers that be don't try to seize this tragedy to create laws that take away people's rights.
Peace,
- Neo
Neo-
I thought you might have headed off to the bomb shelter when you didn't comment on this right away. :)
Welcome back my friend, welcome back.
-XRC
XRC - Heheheheh, sorry I got lost for about 6 days. I always stop back even if I'm a few posts behind. :)
as an alleged christian, shouldn't you be nonjudgemental and forgiving?
As a Christian, I should not be judging. As a human, it happens. No one is perfect. God knows that we are only dust, so he sent Jesus so that whoever believes in him can be forviven. The hardest part is realizing this, accepting it, and knowing that you are forgiven. The power of forgiveness is awesome. I am forgiven, and so I forgive him. That does not stop me from being angry.
I know that God will judge him, and I don't have to, but it doesn't stop me from being angry at all the hurt he caused in the peoples lives.
While in Psalms today, I saw a verse straight out of the Bible that nails it. This is righteous anger! See Psalms 139:19-22.
O God, if only you would destroy the wicked! Get out of my life, you murderers! They blaspheme you; your enemies misuse your name. O Lord, shouldn't I hate those who hate you? Shouldn't I despise those who oppose you? Yes, I hate them with total hatred, for your enemies are my enemies.
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