Putting the cart before the horse

That's me. Classic me. Me when I don't let Jesus drive. You see, I get so ahead of myself, I don't realize why I am not going anywhere. See, Jesus or the Holy Spirit, is the horse. In order for me to really get moving, to really go anywhere, I have to get over myself and put that cart behind the horse. Be nice to the horse, feed it, water it, get to know it, and before you know it, that horse is helping me get wherever it is I need to go, through the mountains if need be.

So here I am, stepping down from the front of the cart. I need to re-arrange how I have it all hooked up, you see I got it backwards.

No one ever taught me how to hook up the cart the right way. I have been doing this all on my own, or under bad influences my whole life. Here I am feeling like an idiot for getting stuck in the mud. Here I am trying to hide under the cart- strike that- coming up from hiding under the cart.

Help me. I can't hook this up alone. I don't know how. I feel so backwards, lost and left behind in this mud. I feel like I can't ever get out and I need help. Help me. Show me how this crazy cart thing works.

Help me. I am buried in debt. I put the wrong things in front of my God, and now I am stuck. I have used this method to get me where I need to go, only to find that that silly horse was pushing me the whole time and now I am covered in mud and I can't ever get out of this mess without help. Maybe I just need to - no - see I got this all messed up. All the tears I cry will never ever clean up all of this mud. WAIT!!!

Jesus, time and time again you pull me out of this pit I seem to get myself into. Time and time again you wash me clean. I know you won't ever stop, but every time I let myself get into a pit, it seems to be deeper and muddier. But its not. I just was never so clean before, that any mud is just so much more noticeable. Really the mud wants me to think that it will be harder to remove, but it isn't.

See, once I was familiar with the mud, but every time Jesus washes me clean, I forget it. And for some reason this mud sneaks back on me, perhaps because of my cart arrangement.

Well, lets see what happens now, because I am throwing my hands up in the air to the Maker. I am letting go of all I ever knew to see if maybe He can sort out this mess.