Learning, growing

I started reading this book "Experiencing God" by Henry Blackaby and Claude King. Finally I find a point of view that makes total sense (straight from the Bible) about some questions I had. Not to put others down, but this point of view made the most sense. What am I talking about? Well, I was anxious to find my God-given gift. I did not know what I was supposed to be doing, and started reading books like "Chazown" to help me figure that out. While it was a great book, I left feeling like what do I do now? It did help me jump into a few things at church, but still I felt anxious.

Here is what I am learning... It is not me who does the work, but God working in me. Instead of waiting for what I think I am good at, I am supposed to look around for where God is already at work and join Him. Firstly, I need to submit to Him. This means that I am supposed to be the clay, and God the potter. I can only become what I am meant to be if I let Him mold me. Trust that in His hands I will become not only useful, but also beautiful. I need to die daily and submit to God. Also, I need to be the one to adjust to God. God does not adjust to me (how crazy is it I used to think that?)

When I think about how many prayers I have said asking God to change things, I feel guilty and selfish. But I have learned, and grown. Now I ask God to shape me, mold me to His will. If I am not happy with something, it is a sign that I am the one who needs to change, not anyone else. And when I feel anxious, I need to remember what Jesus said "follow me, come and see." God's timing is perfect, and if I follow him, I will see his will, and it will be glorious.

Thanks God, my marriage is glorious.