The Problem with Pain

You know how you make a stupid mistake and you realize it while its happening?  Well lucky me sits here a victim of my own stupidity.  Today I ordered giardinara on my panini.  Wouldn't have been such a big deal, except that yesterday I had it on my sandwhich at Potbelly.  Giardinara often messes with my stomach, but I love the heat, so I often try other ways.  Sport peppers I seem to do great with.  Dummy me asked for giardinara.

Tonight I sit with at least 5 sores in my swollen mouth.  I never get sores in my mouth.  AND, my stomach was yelling at me all night.  Thank God I take Nexium otherwise I would be in burning agony, not just pain and mild cramping.

Then I thank God for the local mouth numbing medicine we have tubes of in our cabinet.  It was only when I got it on I realized just how badly swollen the inside of my mouth is.

We do stuff like that, make bad mistakes because we love how it tastes.  And then to deal with the consequences, we numb it, block it, reduce it, push it away.  How lovely is that, to be able to do that?  We have gotten so used to not facing the consequences of our actions that we continue to act stupidly.

I am the world's biggest example of that.  But this isn't confession to the world time.  I just wish I could stop myself from making those mistakes while I make them.  You see, because one day its gonna catch up with me.  One day I will regret not making wiser choices.  I am already making those wishes as I try to teach my children not to make the same mistakes I did.

Yet I ignored my mother when she did the same for me.  In fact, I often pushed her away.  And it hurts.  It hurts because I won't be able to apologize to her.  It hurts because I have to deal with deeper consequences of my actions instead of the skin deep ones I started making while ignoring mom.

Have some more Ambesol... 

See, God realizes these things.  He knows that we will choose to do stuff against his will for us, but we do it anyways.  And just like it hurts me to see people I love making mistakes I have made and warned them against.... it hurts God just as much when we ignore him.

But he understands us, after all God created us.  He knew we would mess up, he knew we would make bad choices, that is life, and since the apple was bitten, we all deal with the fall.  We all choose.  We don't always make the best choice.  But someone did.  Jesus did.  Jesus didn't fight when they whipped him and spit at him.  He took it.  He took it because he was taking it for us.  He hung up on a cross naked and beaten to take the punishment for our choices. 

Could you imagine someone taking the consequences to your bad decisions?  I can't. 

Jesus takes on all of our sin, and that makes me want to stop making bad choices. 

I still do.  But I am working on it, and accepting the Grace of the one who knows.