Catching up on the things in my head

I love being a mother, spending time with Jeramy and watching him grow up is awesome. What might be even more awesome however, is listening to his dad talk about being a father. That fills me with so much joy. I am really proud of my husband for all he does and how well he does it. He can boast in his son now, which fills a deep spot in both of us, and we love it.

Speaking of my husband, I am so proud of his accomplishments at work. It is like I finally get to watch him become what I knew he could be all of this time. He found a job that takes his skills and allows him to use them to the maximum capacity, and the best is yet to come.

I am loving spending time with Cassie. Its a toss up because I feel more like her big sister than her mom, which is a good thing. Yesterday we had short time together shopping, and then later painting our nails. There is an awesome young woman in there just waiting to blossom, and I cannot wait to see what happens next with her.

As far as God goes, man is he moving. I keep describing it to people like this: I see him as the master weaver pulling all these threads out in front of me, and I cannot wait to see how he is going to weave them all together! I got to meet an author whose work has moved me, and BAM is she reminding me and inspiring me yet again. I cannot just sit here when God so clearly wants me to write and do stuff. And I feel so out of practice because I am. Even if its just dumb ole blogging or plain ole journaling, God wants me to get at it again. I have a story to tell, or many stories to tell. Oh, and I am a speaker too. I don't say this to boast, I am saying this because God is showing this to me. I have the capacity to reach people with my words so I gotta get crackin on those words. And slowly but surely, I am feeling called to lead leaders. Weird thing. It is like I see all these leaders stuck in a place where they are comfortable, but not really going anywhere, and if they don't reproduce and if they don't move and change, they will be left behind.

Some people just don't have the capacity to move on, and some do.

I think I want to write about caterpillars and butterflies. I think I want to write about faith and my journey. I think I want to write about freedom, true freedom, freedom to be whom God created you to be- something wonderful, and fantastic.

I have a friend who is following God and getting married this weekend. I have a friend who ran away from God and got married and is using him to justify his selfish actions. I have a friend who is curious and open about God but afraid to get hurt. I have a friend who loves God but is stuck on Sundays.

Whomever you are, where ever you are, I love you dearly and am praying for you to realize just how awesome you can be.

I am praying that I get moving on the chains that are holding me back instead of ignoring them like they will go away, because they won't.

I wrote this Sunday night...

Its after 2am and I am still awake.
Today was phenomenal. My heart just trembled as I swept my eyes up and down the hill. "Wow, this is unbelievable!" I believe it was just a glimpse of a sliver of heaven.

Shortly after I started coming to CCC, there was an all campus picnic. I hardly knew anyone, and spotted the pastors to keep entertained.

My how times have changed...

Today I didn't go a moment without seeing people I knew, and I lost count of how many meaningful hugs I imparted to dear friends. Sometimes all I could do was wave hello as they passed by.

Talk about IMPACT...

I was a lonely soul looking for significance and meaning in my life. Through COMMUNITY I have been able to connect to tons of people, celebrate my life instead of wallow in depression, and contribute to helping other people find their way back to God. I have found great love from God and can't help but want others to know the change, the resurrection life he has given to me is available to them as well

As I think and pray about what's next for me and my family, I can't help but to praise God for Community Christian Church and the impact it has had on my life. . Its people have become my extended family that has supported me and my family through some of the roughest years of our lives. I have learned and grown so much, I often find myself amazed!

I hope that I am able to pass on the great love that COMMUNITY has and continues to show me.

and this too

And love is not the easy thing
The only baggage that you can bring...
And love is not the easy thing...
The only baggage you can bring
Is all that you can't leave behind

And if the darkness is to keep us apart
And if the daylight feels like it's a long way off
And if your glass heart should crack
And for a second you turn back
Oh no, be strong

Walk on, walk on
What you got they can't steal it
No they can't even feel it
Walk on, walk on...
Stay safe tonight

You're packing a suitcase for a place none of us has been
A place that has to be believed to be seen
You could have flown away
A singing bird in an open cage
Who will only fly, only fly for freedom

Walk on, walk on
What you've got they can't deny it
Can't sell it, or buy it
Walk on, walk on
Stay safe tonight

And I know it aches
And your heart it breaks
And you can only take so much
Walk on, walk on

Home... hard to know what it is if you've never had one
Home... I can't say where it is but I know I'm going home
That's where the hurt is

I know it aches
How your heart it breaks
And you can only take so much
Walk on, walk on

Leave it behind
You got to leave it behind
All that you fashion
All that you make
All that you build
All that you break
All that you measure
All that you feel
All this you can leave behind
All that you reason
All that you sense
All that you speak
All you dress-up
All that you scheme...

What God is speaking to me right now

Is it getting better
Or do you feel the same
Will it make it easier on you
Now you got someone to blame

You say
One love
One life
When its one need
In the night
Its one love
We get to share it
It leaves you baby
If you dont care for it

Did I disappoint you?
Or leave a bad taste in your mouth?
You act like you never had love
And you want me to go without

Well its too late
Tonight
To drag tha past out
Into the light
We're one
But we're not the same
We get to carry each other
Carry each other
One

Have you come here for forgiveness
Have you come tor raise the dead
Have you come here to play Jesus
To the lepers in your head
Did I ask too much
More than a lot
You gave me nothing
Now its all I got
We're one
But we're not the same
We hurt each other
Then we do it again

You say
Love is a temple
Love a higher law
Love is a temple
Love the higher law
You ask me to enter
But then you make me crawl
And I cant be holding on
To what you got
When all you got is hurt

One love
One blood
One life
You got to do what you should

One life
With each other
Sisters
Brothers

One life
But we're not the same
We get to carry each other
Carry each other

One

One.

Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have.

Where the Spirit of the Lord is...

So I am sitting in THE OFFICE where all the cool people work. Where the staff at Community churns out the good stuff. Where Lupe keeps everyone from blowing up the printers and copiers.
I have been doing work for Celebrate the Journey, helping get ready for launch. With my limited abilities, and the grace of Lupe, I have made nametags, maps, signup sheets, and the sorts. I have gotten a free lunch. I have said hi to people that I admire. I got to hear about a signed lease.

I feel like a dork writing about this.

But I am just enjoying being where church happens.

You see, I get super excited to be a part of where God is working at. And he certainly is moving here at COMMUNITY. And while I may sometimes feel like the quiet stalker type because I follow everyone on their blogs and facebook and twitter, today I get to be a part of it. For just one day. For now.

God has big plans to use me, and he is calling me to step up to the plate. And like it. I love it.

10 things to ponder over the next week or so.

I was going to send this out in an email to folks, but recently I am trying to shy away from that. People tend to take offense to mass mailings and they might be offended by me.

What a better place to reach out to folks who want to read it than my blog. Likely if you read my blog, you don't delete my emails. Maybe you are just a Shelley stalker and you want to know what is going on in my life.

I am going to post from Perry Noble's blog. www.PerryNoble.com (in dark red letters)
This man is truly annointed and hears from God and is not afraid to speak the truth. I love that about him. I also love his southern accent, which makes all sermons easier to listen to.

A new season is beginning, I will be leading a group, as well as taking part in a retreat for Extraordinary Women, and things are just getting started.

I believe that the church is the hope of the world. I believe if Christians actually stopped judging people and started loving people like Jesus did, then we can see some real change in this world. I believe this is the beginning of a revival. They always start up early century, my grandfather was "saved" during one, and I am sure that Billy Sunday would be proud of what I desire in life.

In the meantime, take note that I am seriously devoted to these questions and hope that you consider them as well. God is so big, we need to stop putting him in a box.

In writing my testimony, I had to stop giving details about me, and start boasting about what Christ has done through me. Its all about God... anyway I hope to have my rough draft done this week.

God has been both encouraging and destroying me in my journey through the Psalms lately…and the other morning I began to write down some leadership questions that I always want to keep in front of me.

#1 – Will I Live In Fear Of God Or Man? Psalm 60:4

When I see who God is I am ruined! (Isaiah 6:1-8.) BUT…when I fear the opinions of man I will allow His vision that He has placed inside of me to be hijacked…and that will destroy me as a leader (Proverbs 29:25).

#2 – Am I Desperate For His Voice? Psalm 60:6

The answer to this would obviously be yes…if it were not for the word “desperate!” So many times I think we all say we want to hear Him…but the dangerous side of momentum is that, many times, things begin to go so well we no longer think we need to be “desperate” for Him…just an occasional “help me” prayer will do!

#3 – Am I Trusting Him To Provide For His Church? Psalm 65:9-13

God will take care of His bride…we are called to handle money responsibly, but I don’t ever seen an instance where He instructs us to worry about it!

#4 – Am I Desiring Average Or Awesome? Psalm 66:5

As I read through the Bible (especially the book of Acts) I seriously doubt that God’s desire for the church was to be a sub par organization for really nice people who occasionally do some good things. I believe His church should be a place where people can say, “what is happening there is SUPER-natural! ONLY God could have done THAT!” It’s so sad when the church shoots for “average” and has the vision to accomplish the lowest common denominator when we have a God who is capable of so much more.

#5 – Is There Anything Happening In My Life Privately That, If It Became Public, Would Disqualify Me From Ministry? Psalm 66:18-19, Psalm 69:6

I tweeted last week, “If we don’t make integrity an issue…then one day it WILL be an issue!” The stakes are too high for church leaders to live “private lives” that mock God and not expect Him to expose them. We’ve GOT to do whatever it takes to make integrity a priority in our lives!

#6 – Am I Wanting His Salvation Or The Name Of My Church To Be Known? (Psalm 67:1-2)

This is a hard question that I feel we must ALL wrestle to the ground because, when God begins blessing a church, many times a leader will slip into thinking the blessing is so that the leader can become more known RATHER than making the name of Christ known. Leaders don’t talk about this…but everyone who has experienced any level of success in ministry has had to fight this battle. It is one that will always be around…which is why a thankful heart and an intense focus on Jesus is essential for success over the long haul!

#7 – Will I Speak His Truth? (Psalm 68:11)

God has spoken…He’s just looking for people who are brave enough to declare His Word without watering it down…and care enough about His Word to handle it correctly.

#8 – Do I Really Believe He Saves People? (Psalm 68:20)

If I do…then the GOSPEL will govern my leadership and my preaching! AND…inviting people to give their lives to Christ will not seem like a hindrance but rather an HONOR!

#9 – Is My Passion For His Church Increasing Or Decreasing? (Psalm 69:9)

If I am not careful the passion He has placed in my heart can begin to fade away…which is why I NEED time with Him, proper rest and the right people around me to make sure what needs to happen happens! (BTW…the environment you are in will either pour gasoline or water on the fire that is inside of you–what type of environment are you in?) Jesus doesn’t use apathetic people to change the world–but people full of passion!

#10 – Do I Believe The Churches Best Days Are Ahead Of Her Or Behind Her? (Psalm 69:34-36)

If I believe the best is behind us…I will work to maintain. If I believe the best is ahead…I will work to achieve all that I believe He has planned!

Leadership Summit - reflections

It has almost been a week since the Leadership Summit.

It was an emotionally exhausting two days, not to mention getting there so early (hey for a second shifter 7 am is rough!) While I was not at my normal job, I felt more tired, more spent, and more abused. It was great!

Here are some of my reflections from the event:

1. It is very hard for me to sit still. Especially on a chair. I sat on the steps mostly when I did sit. My back and legs were exhausted, and I am still limping. I am not the type who can sit still for long. While I love the information, I don't like to be pinned down. I moved around a lot. Good thing I move for a living.

2. I love to serve, and I love to serve church leaders. I really enjoyed just being a greeter and handing stuff out to church leaders. I got to pray for them all as they filed out the door, likely never to be seen again. I got to strike up a relationship with strangers from another state who came down here to learn. I get so energized being around leaders who have the same common purpose as me. I saw a grown man cry and thought it was one of the most wonderful things ever.

3. I got to connect with people. I met folks that are deep into ministry that I have yet to run across as of yet, and shook their hand. I got to tell them I am a huge fan and pray for them. Just being a part of this event was fantastic, and put us on a level ground.

4. There are those that serve just to serve. Running an event requires people who run around and do stuff and don't get to sit in on the event. And they love it. They live to serve. And that just makes me love serving even more. I love it. Jesus loves it.

5. What God is doing in my life, he is doing all over. Hearing what leaders had to share about just confirmed that I am on vibe with the Holy Spirit. God has been summoning me to make changes in the way I think, feel, and live. And he is calling the rest of his body to do the same. I am not alone in what I am going through, and His timing blows my mind.

6. The local church is the hope of the world. This concept is not anything new, but just confirmed more and more every time. I truly believe that we have the resources to eliminate poverty. I truly believed that if we stopped putting up appearances and just started to "be" the church, then the world will change. I wish it didn't take a rock star to open our eyes to that. I keep getting drawn to connect with people who are doing just that... and I am stepping outside of my comfort zone to do so next week.

7. Nothing is impossible with God. While this also is nothing new, its something I often seem to forget. And it was nice to be inspired. To be reminded. Just what I needed to spur some of my own growth. Vision leaks and I just got my bucket topped off. Now I am ready to continue on and do what it is I need to do. I got off my butt, because I am really uncomfortable there anyway, and I am going to keep plugging. There is nothing like being on the winning team!