Little Nuggets

Normally, in my quiet time, I tear through a few pages of scripture. Not recently. Recently I have been in Romans, and taking on only little nuggets at a time. Today it was Romans 5:1-11. Quite possibly my favorite line is v 8:

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. If I had a word tattoo it would say something like that.

The one that got me big time today was this:

rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.

What? I am to rejoice in my sufferings? Yes. See, that nugget hit my heart today. Because of many things. I know what I went through with my mom sucked, but I can rejoice in what it has done for me and my sister and what a great relationship we have. Also my aunt and cousins and I have grown much closer because of it. What we are going through right now for Jeramy, it sucks, but I am so blessed to even have this opportunity, and if you knew how much I loved him, you would know that my tears are tears of love. And this ache in my heart is producing just that: perseverance, character, and yes HOPE.

The only reason I have hope is because "hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." See, I just know that God has promised all to work out for His glory, and whatever that might be, it will be okay. See, hope, Jesus, does not disappoint. So whatever will be, (please let it be), it will be okay as long as I trust in God.

Support me in my first 5K (walk)

I would like to ask if you wouldn't mind sponsoring me in my first 5K. It is a walk, I am not planning on running until the spring, I might try some jogging, but I haven't been training to run yet.

This benefits NAMI of DuPage which is an organization that helps with support, advocacy and education in order to improve the lives of individuals with mental illness and their families.

I am walking to help fight the stigma of mental illness.

I myself am treated for chronic depression, and I have and know many friends who have also been diagnosed with several different mental illnesses. So often people with mental illness are treated differently than people with physical illness. I am a case where I can definitely say that there IS HOPE!

If you would like to help support me and NAMI please do so before September 6th.

Make all checks payable to NAMI of DuPage County. Please ask your employer if they have a matching gift program as well.

You can email me, and I can send you my address if you do not have it, or give me the check in person. I will turn all of the donations in myself.

If you would like to read about the run/walk, you can do so by clicking here to view the PDF of the brochure.

If you would like to join me, let me know.

Thanks and God Bless!

Why Worship Music is MY Quiet Place

Yesterday I had an awesome one-on-one with my coach. I love how he asks me questions that get me to evaluate my thinking and thoughts and behaviors.

I think I realized how much my quiet time is really, really loud. I said I cannot still my heart for God until I am listening to music. This weekend at the concert, I was alone with God among 10,000+ people. I said that if I go off to the forest preserve, I hear birds, insects, wind, people, and traffic. You know what I do to focus on God? I sing a song in my head! When I am listening to music, all I can hear is God. I look at the sky, or the ceiling and take my focus off the people. I look up to avert my eyes from the world so I can focus on the Lord.

I also see God in other stuff, but I am my most intense, the most quiet in my soul, listening to God the most in the midst of loud music. Maybe it blocks out everything else, maybe its just how I am wired. In heaven, I certainly will be dancing and swirling and doing flips and clapping and raising hands. On Earth, I am doing less jumping, and doing flips, its harsh on this body. I have been suffering much in my low back since Sunday.

Maybe its how I am wired, or how I was raised, or both. Maybe its so I can justify my iPod as a spiritual growth expense, not entertainment. Music means that much to me. I desire to be able to play guitar or drums or sing, but that is not my gift. I can try, but my voice when I sing is for God alone, and if everyone else hates it, I know my King is delighting in me.

"Everyone needs compassion, A love that's never failing, Let mercy fall on me, Everyone needs forgiveness, A kindness of a Savior, The hope of nations... Savior, He can move the mountains, my God is mighty to save, He is mighty to save.... Forever, author of salvation, He rose and conquered the grave, Jesus conquered the grave... So take me as You find me, All my fears and failures, Fill my life again, I give my life to follow, Everything I believe in, Now I surrender... Shine your light and let the whole world see, we are singing for the glory of the Risen King. Jesus." -"Mighty to Save" by Hillsong

Thanks to Lisa :) for letting me steal, er borrow her rainbow photo, visit her blog sometime.

Monday--I mean Tuesday Weigh-IN

Last weigh in weight: 239.9
Today's weight: 240.2
Total weight lost: 37.4 lbs.
Weight to lose to mini-goal: 15.2

Ruggy went home last night. Didn't get to say goodbye. I will miss him. I like the idea of a dog who will just lay down next to you. Abby won't. I don't think its possible for her. As a Jack Russell, she is doomed with doggy ADD. Laying still for her only happens when nobody else is doing anything.

The cat had just gotten used to the idea that Rugby would be staying here when he left. We hadn't seen her for a few days except for a few privileged cameo appearances for a nibble of food. She finally came out of her shell only to have Rugby leave. She is still happier that he is gone. So is Abby, because they don't have to compete for attention.

Okay, I will address the weight thing now. I am finding it hard to eat healthier. I indulged and ordered my quesadillas from Chili's and ate the whole plate. I should have packed up half, but no, I didn't. I knew I wouldn't. Dave's folks took us to Buffalo Wild Wings, I got the Buffalo Ranch Wrap, which is boneless fried chicken wings in sauce with ranch dressing, lettuce tomato and flour tortilla. I kept the chips and salsa, which is way better than buffalo chips, but stole like 5 or 6 of Dave's. That was Saturday. Then on Sunday we started off with Jimmy Johns, then at the concert, I had a hot dog and a slice of pizza. Then I had an entire enchilada plate at the taco place. I haven't been getting in my vegetables. (how do you do that at a ball park???) I haven't been eating my fruit even. I want smoothies, I bought frozen strawberries, but need ice and bananas. I shop tonight. Last night I ate Dave's leftover boneless chicken wings and nothing else. No veggies. I did eat a salad at work. With fat -free dressing.

What is stopping me? Me. Today Dave is picking up Portillo's for lunch. I ordered a beef with sweet peppers. Is it better than my two hot dog order, one with everything, one chili dog with?? Of course we will split the fries. I should eat some veggies first, so I don't over do it. I am ready to lose these next 15lbs, but I seem to be waiting at the bus stop. Its like saving money by not eating out... that's not happening here.

My car being in the shop, I have not been able to go to the gym yesterday or today, but I have bad sciatica from the concert on Sunday, so it might be good to rest -- or should I say not push it, until it chills out.

I did do one thing that has motivated me. I went and bought two new bras. It's like I have my boobs back. They were just hanging out, and now I feel like they are showing up and have shape. I went down quite a few sizes, so they are now properly supported. AND I got a "sports" bra as one of them. It was my godsend on Sunday as it kept the moisture off of my boobs. They were like the only thing dry on my body!

Ignite Chicago Rocked!

Yesterday, we un-officially launched our small group. For our first meeting, we had Jimmy Johns and went to Ignite Chicago!

It was awesome! My sister came down from Kenosha, and we met up with my buddy Bob. We also ran into a bunch of my friends from CCC.

Todd Agnew got on stage right after we got there, and he totally rocked! It was so good to hear live "Grace Like Rain" and some other awesome songs. When he finished, I went up to the concourse to browse stuff and fight the crowds to get more water. I ended up at the Todd Agnew table getting his new album right when this lady came up and said "Mr. Agnew is coming up now to sign autographs, you better start forming your line" to the guy in charge of the table. So, guess who was in the front of the line? ME! I got to thank Mr. Agnew for Grace Like Rain, because it has gotten me through a lot of hard times in my life and faith. He signed my CD and I asked if I could give him a hug. The man looked exhausted. Apparently there was a death in the family of one of the band members, so they had to catch a flight. That on top of the sweltering heat and crazy life of touring would have done me in. I am just so thankful for the opportunity to say thank you in person.

Of course, it was awesome as usual to see the David Crowder Band up on stage. They put on a great show, complete with the Keytar, the Guitar Hero guitar and the banjo. Not to mention the crowd interaction and the ho-down. Of note there was some girl next to me dancing like an MTV HO, and I said to her friend "that's the wrong kind of ho-down" and I don't think she got it.

Then we pushed up front for Mercy Me. Now, I know I know Mercy Me, and like their stuff, but couldn't have named a song they sing until now. Just because I have a hard time matching songs with artists, especially names, I have a hard time with names. Anywho, I was with my girl Pearl, and we had a great time worshiping God and rocking out together. We had a shared holy moment, and I got us some Mercy Me T-shirts to commemorate it, so we will remember it always.

Our legs were wiped, so we got some food and drinks, and sat down on our blankie for Newsboys. They did this awesome thing during the encore with the drums, I cannot wait for someone to post it on youtube. The lead singer kinda is creepy to me, but Paul Coleman totally is awesome. AND GET THIS, Paul likes them! Sweet!

After finding our way home, and almost destroying my car in the garage, we ate at Los Burritos Tapatios and came home exhausted. Of course we stank, so everyone had to shower before bed. But, great times were had by all.

Thanks to Edan concerts for throwing this together. It rocked!

POSTPONE THAT

Paul decided to postpone his baptism. Here's why...

He wants Ed to be in the water with him, along with Dave and myself.

Ed's wife is in the ICU and not doing well.

Please keep his family in your prayers.

If you pray...

This Saturday I am going to be baptizing my friend Paul.

I remember when I first met him, and how I decided to pray for him. If you know what Paul has been through, it is a lot. I prayed one tiny prayer, and God gave me the opportunity to follow up on it. So this Saturday, myself, my husband Dave, and our friend Ed are going to be killing Paul. His old life is done. It will lay in the bottom of the baptismal with my old self and Dave's old self and... lots of dead people.

Time to start new in Christ my friend!

To Paul: I see so much potential in you. You are very eager to learn, and have the potential to help others learn a lot as well. You are a very talented artist, funny jokester, and all around great guy. You have a heart made of gold, and a mind like a sponge. You are fun to be around and I cannot wait to see what God has in store for you! I love you brother!

If you have met someone and felt compelled to pray for them, do so. Don't give up. Even if you can't remember their names all the time. One day, God just might bring them back into your life, and give you the opportunity to help redeem the lost. Maybe your prayers are helping others to do the work. Whatever it is, never ever give up hope or faith.