Your Turn TAMMY!!!!

Here is my cousin, Tammy at my 80s themed bachelorette party. Notice the infamous "shoe shirt." Well, Tammy is having her bachelorette tonight, and her wedding next Saturday. Kudos to Tammy and her sis Ashley for throwing an awesome party for me in January.

Congratulations on finding such a great guy for you. I wish you both all the happiness Dave and I have found, and more.

Now tonight is girls night out, so don't be ringing up my phone! I cannot say what the plans are because she wants a surprise, but she will enjoy it.

Tammy, I love you dearly, and am so excited to be one of your bridesmaids. I know your wedding will be beautiful! In the meantime, lets PARTY!!!

How far you have come

I will say that there is a good time to look back, not turn back, but look back. That is, too see how far you have come.

I started journaling pretty regularly December 26, 2005... the day I went out and bought my journal. I had gotten a daily devotional that would help me with the pain of my mom's illness. I also started reading the Bible at that time more faithfully. I was a baby, vulnerable and hurting, lost and without direction.

I still have hurts and vulnerabilities, don't get me wrong. Now, I have purpose and direction, and the hurts don't hurt so much. When you look back on how much you have grown, you realize that the change was good (and sometimes exponential.) It makes you less afraid to make more steps and to move forward in life.

This review of my life has enabled me to take steps forward, and it is amazing even how much my life has changed since then! It is also cool to see how many pages I wrote between the time I got engaged to the time I was married. Journaling also helps me to connect with God in a different way, I can only describe it like the way I used to write notes in high school. I always loved writing and sending notes to my friends, it was a way to stay connected when we couldn't talk and the lecture was boring us. It also was a secret communique, and had a level of intrigue to it.

I used to also take notes on stuff that popped out to me when reading the Bible, but sometimes that isn't always convenient, although I am sure I will return to that once again. Right now I am in a "plowing through the story" phase with my new Message. I also do a small study first thing in the morning, but sometimes it is hard enough to do it, never mind getting my journal into the same location. I just woke up, and am still getting used to this "joy comes in the morning" idea. (Keep in mind that my "morning" is between 11am and 12 noon.)

For those of you who knew my mom, "YUP YUP YUP, JUNE THE 8TH, THE DAY THEY PUT THE WATER IN THE POOL!" --I am so amazed at how much God has allowed me to heal from her death and really grow... not that I don't still miss her, I do. Happy June the 8th Mom!

New Title to the Blog

You may have noticed that I have changed the title of my blog. I have decided that "icanseerightthroughyou" is a great moniker, but a horrible blog title. Especially since I have focused my life on Jesus.

It has been on my heart to do so for a while, so I turned to scripture for inspiration.

This drawing, if you notice is at the bottom of my blog. It was done by my mom. I thought it went very well with the scripture relating to my life, and has been inspiration for me. Out of death comes life, and regeneration is possible. Thanks Mom for being more inspiring that you will ever know.

Let's see what else will be new with me...

You mean I have to put it together myself?

I see many people complain about life. The problem is that it ends there. If you don't do anything to fix it, it is not going to get better.

We aren't born knowing everything. We have to learn how to walk, talk, drive, type, tie shoes, etc. So why is it that people think that life will be easy?

We need to learn to handle life just like we learn to handle a car. Some people are really bad drivers. Some people are really bad at handling life. They probably never tried really hard, or were taught the wrong way. That doesn't mean you can't improve. Help is out there, it is available if you look for it.

So if you grew up learning how to be mean, selfish, rude and put people down, STOP! There are other ways to live life. If you haven't had a job in 5 years, HELLO THERE IS A PROBLEM HERE!!! I don't think it is the lack of work, I think it is a lack of ambition. If you don't find out the correct way to apply for a job, if you don't show that you want that job, you will not get it. If you think you are a ball of dirt, and completely useless, CUT IT OUT! Seriously, you have a worth. God loves you, and created you for a purpose. Start getting involved and see what it might be. If you are waiting for God to bring you the perfect husband, GET OUT AND FIND HIM because he is not coming to ring your doorbell (unless you want to marry a Jehova's Witness or delivery guy!)

Notice a pattern? ACTION. Life takes action, and you cannot complain how bad it is if you aren't doing anything to make it better. Poverty, homelessness, poor education, malnourishment, all of these things can be tackled if people stopped talking about it and started doing something about it. I see too many people spending too much time at the mall and not enough time volunteering at schools and soup kitchens.

My blog here is not to make you mad, but to get you to realize that THINGS CAN CHANGE for the better! What is one thing you can do THIS WEEK to make life (yours or anyone else's) better? Sometimes, all it takes is a phone call or a kind word. Think about it, comment on it, then "JUST DO IT!"

This actually IS my cat

Due to the large amount of comments regarding cats, I decided to post a picture of my baby. This is Phoebe. I got her from the local shelter as a teen cat. At the time I was living alone and didn't have time for a kitten. She has been one of the best things in my life. She is my daughter. She also loves Dave.

On an update regarding my purchase of "The Message:" I am totally soaking it up! I started in Matthew, and just finished Mark and started Luke! It is so weird how refreshing this is to read! Phoebe has not discovered that this book has a ribbon in it yet. She does know several other books that do. I thought my cat was interested in the Bible, turns out she was after the ribbon. By the way, her middle name is Trouble.

I found life's instruction manual!

Most people wonder why God is not speaking to them today. Ninety-three percent of American households own at least one copy of the Bible. Not only is it the world's best selling book ever, it is God talking to us. This book is Life's "not so little" Instruction Manual. Sure, it has wide distribution, but how many people do you know who have read it, the entire thing?

One of the best things you can do in your life is become a Christian, (get saved, find God, follow Jesus, get on the J-train.) Whatever you call it, it means having a personal relationship with God through Christ Jesus and accepting his gift of eternal salvation. If you haven't gotten there yet, it is okay, God has not given up on you. If you have, great! You've found the narrow path. How do you stay there? The same way that you would maintain a relationship with a good friend. Good friends keep open lines of communication. They talk frequently, they love and respect one another, they know each other very well. Your good friends are involved in your life all the time, not just when you throw a party. They are there in the good times, and through the bad times.

God wants a relationship with you, all the time, good and bad. That takes time to develop, time to get to know one another. God has all the time in the world, he is always there, (here, or was, or is going to be.) We, on the other hand, do not. We need to choose who we spend time with, who we need to get to know. God is very tangible, very real, and very available to us. It is in a book, this book is called The Holy Bible. God's story is written down in a book, because we are humans and are not all knowing. If we read the Bible, we can get to know Him more. See, God is OMNIPOTENT (fancy word for all powerful,) he created us, we were knit together in the womb, he wrote our books too.

Growing hurt a lot. While I struggled with life, I loved reading. I read books like crazy, soaking up stories, living life vicariously because real life hurt. I often wondered why life did not include a book on the How-to at birth. The problem was not that there was no book available, I just was not reading that book, and even when I was, it was just old favorites like Psalm 23 or First Corinthians 13. That is only like looking at a photograph, it gives you the idea, but you don't really know Him until you know His story.

The best part about the Bible is that it is not just God's story, but it is ours as well. Once you start reading it, you will realize how much you can relate to the stories contained within. The Bible is a relevant, living story. God is speaking to us now, and today. All it takes to listen is to open the book and start reading.


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Looking for a Bible you can understand? You can try The Message in any of its many forms. I just picked this one up at my local bookstore thanks to a gift certificate from a good friend and a coupon. Don't be thrown off if it says "student" Bible, we are all students!

THE MESSAGE//REMIX 2.0

The best-selling Bible for students, now with expanded features.

• Reader-friendly text of The Message, the most widely read paraphrase
• Expanded introductions covering unique information about the authors, culture and relevant world history for each book of the Bible
• A topical guide geared for the issues that students face
• Handcrafted maps and charts that enhance the understanding of Scripture
• New slimmer size

Read. Think. Pray. Live.

The Message/Remix is purely, simply God's Word in its most easily understood language. It isn't like any other student Bible you've ever seen.

Make this vital book part of everything you are. Read it, cover to cover. The Message/Remix features verse-numbered paragraphs to help you study and think deeply about the text. Pray that as you read, God will open your eyes to the personal messages He has for you. Finally, live it out. The more time you spend in The Message, the more your life will never be the same.

Adventurously expectant

I love how children always have these wide eyes. They are unsure of what to expect next. My kids (the dog and cat) are no longer babies, but they still look at me with this "what's next mom?" look on their faces. They find me and Dave fascinating, and that in itself fascinates me. I look to them, because I don't have people kids to remind me what it is like to be that way. It reminds me of this passage from Romans 8:15 in the Message:
This resurrection life you received from God is not a timid, grave-tending life. It's adventurously expectant, greeting God with a childlike "What's next, Papa?" God's Spirit touches our spirits and confirms who we really are. We know who he is, and we know who we are: Father and children. And we know we are going to get what's coming to us—an unbelievable inheritance! We go through exactly what Christ goes through. If we go through the hard times with him, then we're certainly going to go through the good times with him!

So, when I look forward to life, and what God has to offer, I am trying to be "adventurously expectant" and not afraid or timid. I know God is good. Why should I fear what comes my way? Whatever it is, God is going to use it for His purpose and glory, for something good. Yes, the waiting sucks! But, I know God is with me. More from Romans 8 in the Message:
All around us we observe a pregnant creation. The difficult times of pain throughout the world are simply birth pangs. But it's not only around us; it's within us. The Spirit of God is arousing us within. We're also feeling the birth pangs. These sterile and barren bodies of ours are yearning for full deliverance. That is why waiting does not diminish us, any more than waiting diminishes a pregnant mother. We are enlarged in the waiting. We, of course, don't see what is enlarging us. But the longer we wait, the larger we become, and the more joyful our expectancy.

Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God's Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don't know how or what to pray, it doesn't matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That's why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.

It is so good to know that God's spirit is making prayer out of my aching groans... I groan a lot.

So now I am going to try to keep that childlike point of view, and instead of saying "what is life going to throw at me now?" I am going to say, "what is next, Papa?"