Putting the cart before the horse

That's me. Classic me. Me when I don't let Jesus drive. You see, I get so ahead of myself, I don't realize why I am not going anywhere. See, Jesus or the Holy Spirit, is the horse. In order for me to really get moving, to really go anywhere, I have to get over myself and put that cart behind the horse. Be nice to the horse, feed it, water it, get to know it, and before you know it, that horse is helping me get wherever it is I need to go, through the mountains if need be.

So here I am, stepping down from the front of the cart. I need to re-arrange how I have it all hooked up, you see I got it backwards.

No one ever taught me how to hook up the cart the right way. I have been doing this all on my own, or under bad influences my whole life. Here I am feeling like an idiot for getting stuck in the mud. Here I am trying to hide under the cart- strike that- coming up from hiding under the cart.

Help me. I can't hook this up alone. I don't know how. I feel so backwards, lost and left behind in this mud. I feel like I can't ever get out and I need help. Help me. Show me how this crazy cart thing works.

Help me. I am buried in debt. I put the wrong things in front of my God, and now I am stuck. I have used this method to get me where I need to go, only to find that that silly horse was pushing me the whole time and now I am covered in mud and I can't ever get out of this mess without help. Maybe I just need to - no - see I got this all messed up. All the tears I cry will never ever clean up all of this mud. WAIT!!!

Jesus, time and time again you pull me out of this pit I seem to get myself into. Time and time again you wash me clean. I know you won't ever stop, but every time I let myself get into a pit, it seems to be deeper and muddier. But its not. I just was never so clean before, that any mud is just so much more noticeable. Really the mud wants me to think that it will be harder to remove, but it isn't.

See, once I was familiar with the mud, but every time Jesus washes me clean, I forget it. And for some reason this mud sneaks back on me, perhaps because of my cart arrangement.

Well, lets see what happens now, because I am throwing my hands up in the air to the Maker. I am letting go of all I ever knew to see if maybe He can sort out this mess.

For Nothing is Impossible with God

I finally decided what I want my tattoo to say. I have only been wanting one forever. I just need to decide where I want it and what it will look like. I know this: I have to be able to see it. What fun is putting something on you that you can't see?
I also want it to be a reminder so that I don't ever ever forget. I think I might want to have an artist competition, or maybe just have my kindred spirit JJ design it, or maybe just the tattoo artist. I am thinking of somehow incorporating my moms drawing(scroll to very bottom of blog to see said drawing), but the more I look at it, the more the drawing doesn't belong on me. Maybe it can have green and leaves incorporated in memory of her, and all of the growing I have been doing.
My husband is not too keen on tattoos. Which is cool, but he also knows what this means to me. I am not just getting a tat to get a tat. Its not some crazy cartoon. See while my God does not require me to mark myself, I desire to remember, to build a monument to his great works. When people ask, I want to tell them of the marvelous things he has done in my life.
1. Save my sister, 2. reunite my family, 3. soften the hardest of hearts (moms and mine), 4. hooked me up with Dave, 5. Given me the best family ever; 6. Jeramy, 7. Cassie, 8. Paul, and there is so much more coming. He is gonna blow me out of the water with!

God always blows my mind. Like, I expected his corpse to be in the grave, but he's not there, he has risen. He has defeated death. I have such a limit on him sometimes, but I shouldn't you see, for nothing is impossible with God.

Prayer Answered

Yesterday morning, I prayed that God would show me something new in the Bible for that day. I felt like I had read Luke a million times, so I needed to pay attention, and I really wanted to apply something new.

So Jesus sends out the 12 for missions and he tells them to settle in one house and work out of there. He didn't want the missionaries bouncing from house to house seeing who would be the best hosts, he just wanted them to focus on their mission.

SMACK! I need to quit dreaming of a bigger house and how that will happen and use the place (2 bedroom 1 bath condo) I have now to do the ministry I am called to do. God placed me here for a reason.

God told me that it is not about how big the house is, but how big the love is in the house.

The 7-7 club

Tonight was awesome.
I was in anticipation of what God was going to do, and sure enough He blew my mind.
Asking friends how they are can always end up one of two ways. The first way "good" means can't really get into details I have things to do right now. The second is when they actually take their heart out and say whats going on.
"Its the anniversary of my mom's death" is what I got today.

Gee, really, cuz its the anniversary of my mom's death too. Funny thing.
So we spend a good portion of the night talking, and upon heading downstairs at the end of the night get greeted by someone who really needed a hug.
"My mom died today."

Guess what, you are not alone! So we formed a club called the 7-7 club, and it has nothing to do with 7-up or Seagrams 7, but everything to do with our moms dying on the same date.

So here we are, three women who love God all put together on the same day for the same reason. So we prayed. The 3 of us. 3s and 7s are God numbers you know.

I am really excited to have had the chance to experience this appointment that God set up for us girls. I am really hoping not to have more people in the 7-7 club, but its all about love and supporting one another. Its all about not being alone. Its all about being the body of Christ. Its all about COMMUNITY.

Its all happening.

The Bible is a mirror

Galatians 5: two approaches to religion...

APPROACH ONE:
- What matters to God: Following the rules
- What shows I belong to God: Outer signs of my religion. (In the past: Circumcision. Maybe today: A Christian t-shirt, or a cross around my neck, or a bumper sticker on my car.)
- What I am driven by: The power of my human effort.
- What you'll see in my life if you take a close look: Sexual immorality, hate, selfish ambition, jealousy, drunkeness, putting other things before God

APPROACH TWO:
- What matters to God: Faith
- What shows I belong to God: Serving people in love.
- What I am driven by: The supernatural power of the Holy Spirit.
- What you'll see in my life if you take a close look: Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control

NOW HERE'S THE QUESTION: And don't give the right answer, give the honest answer... Which of those two approaches more accurately describes you? (And what should you do about that?)

via www.vinceantonucci.com

Evangelism

I need to pray this prayer more often:

Lord, I pray for an opportunity to share my faith with someone in some way. It’s not up to me to decide who or when or where. But I know why. Because you love them and want a relationship with them. So Lord, surprise me with opportunities to share my faith.

Forgive me for trying to do your job for you. You are the one who convicts of sin. You are the one who draws to Christ. But help me do my part as salt and light. Help me see those opportunities to react compassionately or listen patiently or speak kindly. Through word and deed, help me plant seeds of love in the lives of others. Give me boldness when it’s time to speak. Give me restraint when it’s time to listen. Give me words to say. But more importantly, give me ears to hear.

Lord, help me be sensitive to the prompting of your Holy Spirit so I can see the divine appointments you send my way. Help me not to be afraid of questions I cannot answer. Help me not to be afraid of people’s reactions or rejections.

Lord, help me preach the gospel every day, when necessary, with words.

In Jesus name, amen!

via Mark Batterson at www.evotional.com

My stage debut

Okay, I got up and sang on stage today. In front of people. Not to make fun of myself. Not to gain praise for myself. But to praise God.

My friend Tony wanted to do an old school version of "O Happy Day" and needed a choir. When Deb and Tony asked, I thought they were joking.

You see, I am not really the best singer.

But something happens when I am praising God, I mean really praising him. My soul sings. Not me, but my soul.

Someone also handed me a tambourine. I guess I did a pretty darn good job. Especially since we had only one practice.

I am hoping Steve gets it up on Facebook so we can see it.

I had to remember to sing to the crowd. I forgot they were there, I was busy singing to God. Oh and the women on stage I have made friends with and are all lovely people. Everyone accepted me right in.

That touched me deep deep deeeeeeeep inside. The whole experience. I did it! I wasn't self-conscious, I was God conscious. The only pride I took was in my God. And when people said I did a good job, oh that was fun too.

So you have to pardon me, I am on a Holy Spirit high, and pretty filled with joy.